to think that grown women should not to too scared to walk home alone after dark?

[nicepasta]

I live in a small town.

When we go out or to meetings, none of my friends ever walk home alone. It really annoys me. They say it is too dangerous. They spend ages working out who is giving lifts to who - and these people all live within half a mile of wherever we are going.

Our town is no more dangerous than any others. They all seem to be convinced that there is a really high risk of being attacked. They always tell me that I shouldn't walk home by myself. I think it is utter nonsense.

AIBU?

I walk in the dark by myself all the time.

Is it okay to walk home in day-light by yourself?

Loads of women are attacked and raped - why do we focus on the attacks that occur 'at night'?

I agree that this reinforced the idea that women are somehow responsible if something happens to them - they have not 'reduced their risk' - I think that is a very dangerous attitude.

I am a weedy 7 stone 5'2" woman with nerve damage in my legs that makes me a bit slower at running than I used to be (otherwise very fit though). I live in a city with a lot of deprivation and social problems and I don't believe that learning a few martial arts moves and feeling confident is going to make me safe at night. I do what I need to do to keep safe and feel safe. I still walk home from ballet at 9pm in winter but I will admit it scares me when I pass a prostitute and her pimp, plus a couple of gangs of young men hanging around an off license.

YABVU it is a possibility and they are right for being extra cautious, mabey they might have had good reason to be worried such as past experiences. You hear so many caes of women being raped or murdered within yards of a house because they did not want to spend the extra money on a taxi home. If you dont look after yourself nobdy else will!

Morningpaper I agree that men and women should be able to walk outside at ANY time of the night or day without being criticised if they are attacked. But I also feel they should be able to choose not to without feeling they are letting the side down.

Anyone want to have a go at old folks for not stepping outside after dark?

It does depend on where you live, how well lit the streets are, how far you have to walk. And of course the time of night. 6pm in the dark is very different to 11pm in the dark.

someone told me something interesting

That if you refuse to go out after dark and avoid public places you are "giving" the streets to the people you are at fear of

I tend to agree, but in parallel I dont take silly risks

You hear so many caes of women being raped or murdered within yards of a house because they did not want to spend the extra money on a taxi home.

??? I'd imagine you hear more cases about women being in trouble with unlicenced cabs...

What do old people have to do with it? Are they a 'vulnerable group' like women? I would imagine they are in far more danger of tripping over a fox and breaking a hip...

I agree with SGB - winds me up beyond words. What I hate most of all is the number of my friends who say that their husbands won't 'let' them get the tube home or whatever.

I have been walking home/getting nightbuses etc for 20 years in London and I have never, ever been attacked.

Single men are much more likely to be victims of assault.

Actually I sprained my ankle last year walking back in the dark and tripping over a bag of compost

That is a risk factor, I agree

I refuse to accept that I am taking a 'silly risk' by walking by myself late at night.

I walked to my friend's house the other night, about 2 miles, it was only 6 o'clock in the evening, and I was the only woman walking alone. There were plenty of men. If more women were walking alone, we would all be safer.

Yanbu, but I can understand why women don't like walking alone.

It is a sad sign of the times that anyone should feel unsafe walking home alone.

I walk home alone when I have been out with friends but we live in a small village with a low crime rate (or attacks anyway, burglaries are a different story).

I would never judge anyone who felt unable to do so as I do not know if there is a reason for her unease.

The perception of risk is very different for everyone, depending on past experience.

However, many people have the feeling that there are rapists/paedophiles around every corner and that is just wrong.

I'm just scared of the dark and have an overactive imagination which means unidentified monsters/ghosts/vampires are lurking in the bushes.

It's an entirely individual affair. Those of us wot have had an incident prefer not to, those of us who fear the possibility prefer not to, those who don't fear an incident, do so. Having had an incident, I prefer not to, and prefer that my friends don't, just in case. Incidents can be entirely unpredictable, happen v quickly, be v unpleasant and the effects can last for years.

I don't like walking home alone at night - and I am a police officer who knows the likelihood of being attacked is very small.

To be fair, if you're attacked the statistics are meaningless. You can't be 30% attacked

'You hear so many caes of women being raped or murdered within yards of a house because they did not want to spend the extra money on a taxi home.'

That is putting the blame on the woman, not on the rapist.

If you're raped, not being at fault is little consolation...

Look its up to the person at the end of the day what they feel comfortable in doing and their decision to take a licensed cab or have a lift with a friend should be respected and not laughed at. What each person does is their business, but they should respect the decisions of other people.

'To be fair, if you're attacked the statistics are meaningless. You can't be 30% attacked'

exactly Fibilou.

It's one of those things where I find it so hard to understand why women are so judgemental of other women.

Hully I'm sure there are also people who HAVE been attacked or appraoched who still think that women should have the absolute right to walk wherever they like and it still gives no one the right to approach them

YANBU Statistically, you are far, far more likely to be attacked if you are a male aged between 18 and 35.

I prefer not to go out on my own when it's late, to some places i.e. the local late shop is in a roughish area so I send Dh after 9pm.

But I used to walk home from work along a well lit, relatively busy area at midnight or later.

I don't like my younger sisters walking home alone though. I walk them and then walk back alone . Or I send DH with them. But then I am bigger and can 'handle' myself better than my sisters. I am also more confident, so probably less of a target.

I do think attackers are opportunistic and look for 'easy' targets that they think won't cause a problem. When I lived with my friend he was mugged twice in our area. I never was. I walk with much more confidence than him and look more like I would fight back than him iyswim? When he visits me, I walk him home too - he only lives up the street, but it is a long street and gets a bit rough further up.

YANBU. I think Germaine Greer brought up the idea a few years ago that women are constantly told that it's dangerous to walk alone in the dark, and that they need to be escorted by a man, and that this only has the effect of making women fear the outside world more and that they need to rely on men for protection. Even though I understand that attacks happen, the thing that bothers me is if I say I'm going to walk some distance in the dark I get people saying, 'oh but you can't it's so dangerous' and there definitely is the feeling that if I do get attacked it will somehow be my own fault for daring to do a perfectly reasonable thing.

I know it raised a bit of a debate, but I did quite like the 'How to reduce the risk of attacks' post that someone put on here a while back, and instead of saying 'Don't walk home alone' or 'Lock your doors when you're driving after dark' it said 'Don't break into houses' 'Don't try to have sex with someone if they tell you no'. I liked it because it put the emphasis on curtailing the behaviour of aggressors to stop them being criminals rather than normal people to stop them being victims. I really feel that there is more and more directed at telling people 'If you don't do this you will be safe, but if you do it you can't complain if someone attacks you'. Well actually, I fucking will complain if all I was doing was a perfectly normal, legal activity and some twat attacked me.

I was mugged and badly beaten up within a mile from my flat at 8.00 in the evening whilst walking to the cinema with a friend on a busy road. (was dusk not datk) That was ten years ago. Still now I don't even walk to my car alone for the simple reason I was a complete wimp when it came to it and didn't fight back!!! Different people react differently in the situation. If you know you would fight back you would be safer.

YABU You are much more likely to be mugged or otherwise attacked in the dark.It happens - and not infrequently like child abduction etc .I remember think at the time of the Yorkshire ripper that all the women had been alone in the dark - why run an unnecessary risk ?