to be disgusted by the total moron parents who left a note on the car windscreen of my disabled parents' car

[TheDullWitch]

My parents, in their mid-80s, both who walk with sticks (my dad who just had a stroke) went to the supermarket. Since all the disabled spaces were filled and they struggle to walk more than a few yards, they parked in a parent and child space and left their disabled badge in the window.

When they returned to their car the following was written on a note on their windscreen. "This space is for parents, you stupid old bastards." This total and utter XXXX must have seen them struggle to walk and still thought that their own right to walk able-bodied with their toddler into a store was more important.

My mum and dad, who are gentle, kind people are so upset. I am so disgusted and upset.

SHAME ON YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE! SHAME ON YOU!

OP, I enjoyed your article btw, glad others did too.

Why shouldn't you write here and for your work... it's not like you are trawling for material, this really happened.

Don't let the gloriously self-entitled bully you to name change. If any of us were in your position, we'd ALL, to a woman, do the same.

lol timeforme..

i'm starting to sound like my mother...!

ohhhhhh....just seen a thread about this..

off to defend the journos article....

mn was set up by journalist.some posters are journalists.big deal

dont see the problems with op reproducing post in times.shes sharing her subjective opinion of a horrid experience,not deceiving folk.some on mn get hysterical at mere mention of journalists

spicemonster, OK. So the first issue (DW's posting then writing) is a non-issue

But your question, have I witnessed the sense of entitlement some parents have?

Well. Maybe. I think this piece shares this sentiment with a kind of 'pull up your bootstraps' idea that is very fashionable at the moment, as the tide turns away from social welfarism, and back towards individualism and the inevitable withdrawal of a public commitment to welfare and provision. It is a justification of the withdrawal of funding, publicly or privately, for the meeting of needs.

I really do think the note that was left was odious and offensive, and the people who did it were clearly stupid wankers who needed a burly bloke to hold them by the neck and growl 'have a bit of respect'. But to suggest this is indicative of a general culture of entitlement is an opinion I can't share.

I think the problem is more that age and disability are the last taboos in our society and the progress that has been made in other areas hasn't been made here.

One of the other ironies here however that bleating about a 'culture of entitlement' is quite likely to lead to fewer rights and protections for older or disabled people. Actually.

dull witch dont change your name because of misplaced ire on mn

Dullwitch don't change your name.
I think some people had realised a while ago that you were who you are.

I read the artcle and had previously read this thread and never once thought you were here scouting for things for your column.
I figured it had happened you ahd posted on MN as most of us would have to let off a bit of steam.

You have done nothing wrong and shouldn't feel the need to justify yourself.

FWIW I agree with most of this article. I do know a lot of parents who think that they have had children and it gives them some sort of sense of entitlement.
A supermarket I know has the right idea they built a new store and doubled the amount of disabled spaces and put the P&T at the far side of the car park with zebra crossings and a marked out path to corss the car park safely.

Dullwitch I wasn't trying to cause trouble for you and I am sorry if linking to it annoyed you. I linked to it cos I thought it was a good article and that people who'd been interested in the issues that your thread raised would be interested in it.

was in a similar positin with my elderley mum of 85 after she had a stroke. Drove to sainsburys car park and there was one disabled place left.
an able bodied person just drove in and got out.
So before i launched into an argument with them,i established that they werent picking anyone disabled up. they werent obviously.
so i then said to them in a very sarky voice' i dont suppose you would be so eager to jump in their coffin would you,you selfish bas
can you believe it, they just walked straight in to the supermarket without a care.
But i firmly believe that what goes around comes around and i hope to god that when they are old and frail that someone does this to them.
i totally sympathise OP

I completely agree with the article as well,
from being expected to put up with children screaming in previously adult venues to not being expected to be annoyed when someone's spoilt little brat pushes their toy into my ankles and on and on.

What annoys me more than anything is the sense of moral superiority that some (not all) mothers have when you dare to express annoyance "I bet you haven't got children". No I haven't, well not till January, but why should that make me any less entitled not to be shocked at how some parents seem to be completely oblivious/inconsiderate as to how the behaviour of their offspring impedes on other people. And why is everything laughed off "they're only children". Yes, and if you don't teach them proper behaviour as children they'll never learn any and will be teenagers that can't behave.

I completely agree with the article as well,
from being expected to put up with children screaming in previously adult venues to not being expected to be annoyed when someone's spoilt little brat pushes their toy into my ankles and on and on.

What annoys me more than anything is the sense of moral superiority that some (not all) mothers have when you dare to express annoyance "I bet you haven't got children". No I haven't, well not till January, but why should that make me any less entitled not to be shocked at how some parents seem to be completely oblivious/inconsiderate as to how the behaviour of their offspring impedes on other people. And why is everything laughed off "they're only children". Yes, and if you don't teach them proper behaviour as children they'll never learn any and will be teenagers that can't behave.

The other thread here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/861192-To-think-that-this-Times-article-about-selfish-m others-is?msgid=17524273

Funnily enough Wilf, I think there is a massive cult of individualism in our society which is precisely why people like the stupid note leavers (and the woman with the enormous buggy and the woman who has sued because her toddler got whacked over the head) put their needs above everyone else's.

I read the article very differently from you clearly!

sorry i havn't read the whole thread just first few posts but how utterly vulgar or the idiotic lazy twats who did this, please excuse my language but theese people/person deserve no more, i hope your parents dont let it get to them too much

I'm not sure I agree with the article, but that's neither here nor there.

I did not know dullwitch was a journalist, hence my confused posts- I was concerned that she was not, and plagiarism had occurred.

She wrote it, so no plagiarism; the only issue now should be whether you agree with the article or not... there's no need to namechange, unless it makes you feel uncomfortable, OP.

I love Janice and i love teh article.

Disgusting & horrific. My PIL are in their 90s, bless 'em so can relate to the outrageousness of this act. Plus the foul language.

The article was long-winded, though.

...and spiteful. More like a rant than journalism but hey!

I am really surprised that so many people think the p&c spaces should be removed. I would be fine with that idea if ALL the spaces were just a bit wider but it is incredibly difficult when you get back to your car to find some tosser in a van or big car has parked so close to the side with the car seat in it that you can't open the door to lift the child in.

I agree that the disabled ones ought to be closer but I can't see why a lot more spaces couldn't just have extra room around them, for anyone who needs more space to open the door fully, eg pregnant women and parents with small children (ie under the age that they need to be lifted into a seat rather than clamber over from the other side, maybe under 3s?)

If there were just more spaces that were suitable then this wouldn't be an issue. It always amazes me in my local BIG tescos that there are 7 parent and child spaces, and a lot more parents with small children in the shop.

Feel for your parents though, that is really awful for them xx

I don't think we're disagreeing on that point spicemonster.

I agree entirely. And the whole notion of 'serving yourself' is wrong. But to lump that in with a rejection, on the grounds of an apparent 'culture of entitlement', of some pretty hard fought and long won things that make life better for women mothers, is the bit I find hard to stomach.

I am not surprised at all to see these ideologies in the Times. I wouldn't be surprised to see them in the DM either.

I wonder, if you did a sane survey (rather than a news piece, or a MN thread) of older people, or carers for disabled people and whether they thought the answer was to abolish P&C spaces, you would find the same views as on here?

I doubt it. My own Mil, now`sadly dead, who was a carer for years, and in the last years of her life, in need of disabled parking spaces, used to remark how wonderful it was compared to 'in her day' when no-one thought ANY of these issues were worth thinking about it.

That is disgusting.

@ Fibi, come back to us in a year or 3 and say the same. Easy to be the perfect parent if no kids.....

TheDullWitch, I thought you wrote a fabulous article (I am scaring myself with agreeing with DaftPunk for once though! ). Yesterday I thought of this thread when I was at the supermarket. It was pissing down with rain, the wind was howling & the carpark was packed. I am quite pregnant & have a 2 year old. I had to park at the far end of the carpark. Big deal. My DD is not painted, so a little bit of rain won't hurt her. I saw several elderly people getting in and out of cars in the P&T spaces. I was pleased that they had found somewhere close to the shop to park.

If anyone had left such a note on my parents' car (who are of a similar age & have a similar mobility to your parents), I would want to seek those people out & lamp them one. I think it is bloody marvellous actually that you are a journalist and could write about it in a national paper. Bloody good for you

Fab column.

And I speak as someone who was seriously flamed on MN for suggesting that able-bodied children should be taught to give up their seats for adults on the tube.

great article