to be disgusted by the total moron parents who left a note on the car windscreen of my disabled parents' car

[TheDullWitch]

My parents, in their mid-80s, both who walk with sticks (my dad who just had a stroke) went to the supermarket. Since all the disabled spaces were filled and they struggle to walk more than a few yards, they parked in a parent and child space and left their disabled badge in the window.

When they returned to their car the following was written on a note on their windscreen. "This space is for parents, you stupid old bastards." This total and utter XXXX must have seen them struggle to walk and still thought that their own right to walk able-bodied with their toddler into a store was more important.

My mum and dad, who are gentle, kind people are so upset. I am so disgusted and upset.

SHAME ON YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE! SHAME ON YOU!

Dear Mumsnet.

I am a journalist, I am a mother. I am an ordinary person who wrote about what happened to my parents on MN with no thought of writing my column about it. Just because I d got off the phone with my mum and didn t know who else to tell. Then I thought about it and it seemed to be the most extreme tip of the iceberg of a lot of attitudes I come across.

I am not like "Oh in my day, we didn t need maternity leave/ family friendly restaurants." I am just saying, I have been a parent long enough (ds 13 and 11) to have a little perspective

Things have improved immeasurably in the last decade. We have won loads of progress - MN has been a catalyst for some of it in a way. We CAN breast feed in church - I have done that myself by the way - and that is BLOODY MARVELOUS.

But at the same time an entitlement has grown that parents/families are the only ones with needs. Our needs are not greater than those of the elderly. I read an enormous amount of vile ageism both here and elsewhere (bloody old people shopping when I want to shop, touching my baby etc etc a long row in my local paper about old people saying there are fewer seats on lower decks of buses cos of buggies, mums replying OAPs should bog off etc) and that really appals me.

I know everyone on here assumes all journalists are twats. (Along with all politicians) And you have a right to that opinion. But I love Mumsnet ? I wrote a column about why it is unimprovable ? I love to read about people's lives on here, how you solve problems. Not to rip off for work, but because it is enlightening as a human being.

Anyway, I will take the flack. If you hate my piece, fair enough. It was quite provocative, I guess, because I was still angry.

Now I suppose I ll have to change my name, which is hard cos I am technologcially challenged.

Yours ever,
Janice

Having a child is (for most people) a choice not a disability, I think all P&C spaces should be done away with TBH, they are not a legal requirement they are a kindness done by stores.

Who ever left the note was a fuckwit

Also do wish people would work out that mumsnet is a public forum and the WWW bit kind of gives away the fact that anyone with a PC world wide can access it, and stop getting so bloody precious when newspapers put things in them connected to mumsnet, also people who have never mumsnetted in their life may (shock horror) have thoughts along the same lines as a mumsnet post.

No independent thought allowed in case it has been a post here then

ah giver her a break
why cant she post on MN

I was forced to read all the comments to find the article. I think that you did an excellent piece and it needs saying! Of course a disabled person should be able to take precedence. My elderly mother would take for ever to walk across a car park, step by agonising step, that is if she actually had room to get out of the door.
Because I am an older mum there were no such things as mother and baby parking places and we managed perfectly well, I hadn't even thought that we needed such things.
I can see that a wider space to get the doors fully open would make life easier, but I fail to understand why they have to be near the supermarket doors. Mothers can walk! Mothers can manage babies and toddlers across a car park!
I would have them all much further away and double the disabled spaces. I hope that the rude people who left the note read your article. Unfortunately they probably still think that their 'needs' come first.

and janice has been on mn for YEARS
way before any of you lot - I laugh at " soemguy" outing her with a swoosh of his cape on mumsnet

do fuck off to a more manly site

I find it very weird that every so often groups of people are told that they can't or shouldn't post on mumsnet. You only have to disagree with the majority (some threads are worse than others about it)and sooner or later someone tells you that you have no rights to voice an opinion!
It is public and it is open to everyone. I think it would be dreadful if it was censored and you could only take part if you fitted a narrow criteria.
Carry on TheDullWitch-and don't change your name!

I think that someone ought to start a campaign to keep mother and baby spaces, but put them further away. They could be sited where it is a bit of a longer walk but you don't have to cross the road.

TDW - I think it was spot on.

Like piscesmoon there was little in the way of P&T spaces when mine were small, no CTC, no childcare vouchers etc; those things are not (or should not) be an entitlement. I do think however that the sense of entitlement extends way beyond parents of small children. It pervades the whole of society sadly.

And why is it not right for TDW to post here and write an article?

I thought it was a good article, and yes, TheDullWitch has been here for aeons and hasn't made a secret of being a journo.

I agree piscesmoon, keep the spaces but put them further away from the store. I was always more grateful for the extra space to open the car door than I was for the short walk to the store doors.

Don't you dare name change TheDullWitch! Be proud of who you are and be just as proud of your opinions, you have as much right as the next person to express them. I liked your article.

why all the fuss. some people won't be happy on this site until all the articulate, funny posters are bored off by the jeremy kyle demographic.

I thought it was a great article and I don't understand all the hysteria about it.

just read teh article. fantastic. couldn't agree more.

I don't think there is any hysteria about DW's article content: pretty much everyone, except me and a coupla others, agrees with it. Which is a shame, because I think it is a simplistic analysis.

But there is misplaced hysteria about whether or not DW is deceiving, plagiarising, 'allowed' to post on her own life and then use the material in her articles. All of which is nonsense. I don't agree with her position but of course she is allowed to talk about it wherever and as many times as she likes...

yanbu....i hope your parents are ok.

i think P&C spaces should be removed....total waste of time....why can't parents walk..? it's a supermarket not Helmand province...what do these lazy parents think will happen to them if they have to walk past a few cars..?

the disabled and elderly are the priority.

God aren't some posters just soaked in their own self importance? DullWitch hasn't committed a crime FFS.

Why shouldn't she write about her experiences on here and use then in her articles? Nothing wrong with that.

ps;

your parents should complain to the manager..

(and don't change your name..)

There are IM not-very-well-thought-out opinion, quite a few similarities between being elderly and disabled and being a mum of young children - public transport issues, pavements impasssable due to signboards and badlty parked cars, inaccessibility to some shops , badly thoughtout layouts of shops and cafes, vulnerable to pickpockets, sometimes isolated etc etc

and I wish there was more empathy on both side.

I don't see why DW can't write opinion pieces based on her own experiences? it's not like she nicked loads of 'quotes' from here..
It's not a lot different from me posting something both on twitter and facebook is it? Or any of you trying out an anecdote on here before feverishly transferring it to your blogs?

I don't think the P&T (Parent & toddler here in Oz) spaces should be removed - I think they are a good idea so long as no one gets fascistic about them. It IS very handy to ensure that you have the space to open your door wide enough to get a small child/baby in and out without risk to head etc.

But I do agree that the sense of entitlement is ridiculous - and that disabled customers should always take precedence if there are no disabled spaces available. I have no objection to walking further with DS but I do prefer not to have to cross the "roadway" if it can be avoided -some people drive round carparks like they are Grand Prix tracks - but I still wouldn't expect to be nearer the door than people who have a real problem with the distance.

TheDullWitch - keep your name, your article was fine, not OTT at all (unlike the other Times article that SomeGuy linked to, which was heinous)

I think they did and got a sympathetic response from the manager daftpunk which is good

That was the hysteria I was referring to Will. And I think the DullWitch has a point about the overwheening sense of self-importance some parents have. Have you never been exposed to it?

mollyroger; parents are (usually) young and fit....i had 3 dc under 5.....still managed to get from my car to the supermarket ....

parents need to get real...

haven't read TDW artical.....wouldn't have a problem with it...the more journos on here the better imo...

Totally agree Daftpunk, and those who are now elderly often managed with a lot less than we have and a lot more children! We are spoiled!!

oh yeah obviously DP, I actually totally agree with the article, I sort of meant that parents should have more empathy with the elderly but got overexcited . There is a huge gap between what goes on in mny head and what actually gets typed sometimes [dyslexic tendancies..]