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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In thinkking that Partner is a selfish, ignorant arsewipe?

50 replies

mamadiva · 07/11/2009 17:15

So bloody right now and need to rant!

DP (right now the D in that stands for dickhead ) told 3.5YO DS this morning that we would all go to the fireworks tonight so DS went for a sleep about 2 hours ago as it is on so late blah blah anyway DP went to his mates house at about 2pm to watch the football, I phoned him about 15 minutes ago to ask what was happening and this is how the convo went:

Me: So what's happening are you coming back over and we will head up or are you meeting us along the way?
DP: Well (friend's wife) is going to give us (meaning herself, her DP and their DD) to save us walking cause it's a bit cold
Me: Right so me and DS will just walk up in the cold ourselves in the dark and meet you there
DP: Well if you don't mind, but right enough you won't see us cause we will be there early and near the front and it'll be too crowded so I would'nt bother about that
Me: Well yes I do mind because it's a 30 minute walk, it's dark and cold and noone else I know will be going
DP: Well if that's how you want to be don't fucking go then but we are taking friend's DD anyway

He then hung up and turned phone off!

I am absolutely fuming and now I don't want to go because I hate being out alone in the dark never mind with DS and we need to alk through a quiet industrial estate which is creepy enough during the day! DP knows this yet it's fine for us but it's too fecking cold to walk with friend's DD! I feel terrible that DS is'nt getting to go now

OP posts:

diddl · 07/11/2009 17:24

I would be livid if my husband spoke to me like that-he has never sworn at me.

And it´s not too cold for you & your son to walk, but it is for him?

Can they come & fetch your son & you stay in the warm?

Or bring him home to take you & son?

YASNBU!

MuthaHubbard · 07/11/2009 17:25

YANBU

Hassled · 07/11/2009 17:26

What a twat.

seaglass · 07/11/2009 17:27

YANBU - ring back - on his friends phone if his is still turned off, and tell him to get his useless arse back home so you can walk there together!

RemyMartin · 07/11/2009 17:29

Is he normally like that?
yanbu

LaurieScaryCake · 07/11/2009 17:29

that's really bad, he promised your ds

I am furious for you. Seems like he's had a nice day and now can't be bothered with you and ds.

posieparker · 07/11/2009 17:32

Dickhead is far too many letters to waste on such a twat.

Poor poor you.

Original poster

mamadiva · 07/11/2009 17:32

Don't have his friend's number and his phone is still off!

Times like this I wish he just would'nt come back at all!

Not even an offer to give us a lift or anything just that they were going up in the car because it was too cold for their DD to have to walk (she is 4.5YO).

Because DS has been for a sleep he won't go down until about 10 now all because DP told him he was going to fireworks! Although note that DP was supposed to be going out straight after bonfire so I guess DS being up so late won't bother him in the slightest!

OP posts:

biggirlsdontcry · 07/11/2009 17:33

yanbu - feel for your ds though , your dp is very rude & immature to speak to you like that btw .
are you sure he is going to the fireworks ? because the way he said they will be at the front & you might not see them sounds to me as though he is planning on not going & that might be his excuse iykwim

Fabster · 07/11/2009 17:36

Can you find somewhere to go to so your DS can see the fireworks, or watch someone elses from the window?

Your P is being a twat and you need to make him realise that what he did and said was out of order and he needs to make it up to both of you big time.

Do you think he did this on purpose so he can have a night on the piss?

Turning his phone off is just stupid. What if there was an emergency?

Original poster

mamadiva · 07/11/2009 17:37

I know he's going because he's not that stupid LOL.

My mum works with his mates wife and he knows if he was'nt there then she would say.

OP posts:

GinSlinger · 07/11/2009 17:37

yanbu and your DP is being a prize twat. Has he been boozing do you think? Not that it's an excuse but it may explain twattish behaviour.

sorry it's crap for you.

diddl · 07/11/2009 17:38

It does sound odd.

Why wouldn´t he meet you at the entrance to the place?

Why would the woman who has offered the lift think it´s OK to take him leaving you & son to walk?

Have you got a friend nearby who you can go with?

It sounds as if him & mate are going to the pub!

seaglass · 07/11/2009 17:38

Go to the fireworks with a friend, and leave a note for you DickheadP to tell him how pissed off you are with him, and why.

Original poster

mamadiva · 07/11/2009 17:38

He goes out on the piss every saturday so again he would'nt have to use it as an excuse.

I don't think there's anywhere nearby we could watch them am bloody gutted for DS

OP posts:

InterruptingKid · 07/11/2009 17:39

he doenst love oyu
why are you with him?
he is trying ot bin you.

InterruptingKid · 07/11/2009 17:39

is he these kids dad?
he is having an affair i think - its totally unacceptable

diddl · 07/11/2009 17:41

Yes, reading OP again, he doesn´t want you to go as you wouldn´t be able to find him??

InterruptingKid · 07/11/2009 17:41

he is taking another woman
he doesnt want you there.
really
Its utterly transparent
you are reduced to beggint he arse hole to taking his own family

nikki1978 · 07/11/2009 17:43

Eh? What are you on about interruptingkid?

LaurieScaryCake · 07/11/2009 17:43

get a taxi? and get your way to the front to make sure he's there?

seaglass · 07/11/2009 17:43

Change the locks!
Chuck all his clothes out on the street! (having cut them to bits)

....or wait til he comes home and have a proper talk about what's happened and why he thought that was acceptable, and why he would break a promise to his son

biggirlsdontcry · 07/11/2009 17:45

yes diddl that's what i was thinking - op his behaviour is very suspicious imo , surely this woman giving them a lift could have picked you & ds up too ?

nikki1978 · 07/11/2009 17:45

He is being a complete twat. If DH did this I would go mad. Can you get a cab there and back so your DS doesn't miss it then when his Dad gets home you can beat him to death with a frying pan

Is he like this with you a lot? How come he gets to go out on the piss every Saturday night? I hope you get to go out too?

seaglass · 07/11/2009 17:46

Interruptingkid - it wasn't transparent to me - I just thought he sounded like a bit of an immature prick who needs to learn what families do together.
Not very nice to assume that he's got another woman in tow with no evidence other than an upset (and rightly so) AIBU post.

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