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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be a bit peeved at kids who don't eat their dinner (at my house)?

73 replies

Clary · 03/11/2009 00:03

Well, probably yes.

But all the same. This seems to be a running theme here - DCs' pals come to tea and don't eat their food.

They don't make a fuss as a rule - they are nice kids. They don't even ask for any other food, tho I sometimes offer ("would you like an apple?")

But I serve up, ooh, outre stuff like sausages or pasta with tomato sauce, or obscure veg like leeks, and they get toyed with and left.

It gets a bit depressing, esp when the other week we had 3 pals over (I have 3DC) and out of the 6 kids at the table only mine ate the pasta with bol sauce!

DH says I should serve them frozen chicken nuggets with smiley faces (shudder) and then they'd eat.

I don't even know why it bothers mem except I find myself thinking well, I could have just saved that food for me and DH to eat.

OK obv I am just feeling like a laet-night rant, but does anyone else have this?

OP posts:
FluffysBeenBittenByAVampire · 03/11/2009 00:06

Some children get really excited so don't eat, other little darling's never experience lovely grub

Hope you are well clary, fluffybunnygonebad

Original poster
Clary · 03/11/2009 00:11

i'm fine babes, tho I gather you are not so great?

Yeah I guess they just eat badly at home. It's a bit sad really.

I have a friend whose DC always eat everything there is and then ask for more. I love her

OP posts:
dreamteamgirl · 03/11/2009 00:13

I have one neighbours child I refuse to feed as he asks to stay or takes food or mauls it all then doesnt eat anything

Now I either refuse and send him home or give him a slice of plain white bread which he will eat

Mind I am one of those parents who feeds their children that shudder worthy food (LMFAO at some peoples up tight houlier than thou attitudes) of smiley faces. Which apparently is akin to poison... Whatever

LilyBolero · 03/11/2009 00:18

If you had my children over, ds1 absolutely would not eat sausages. He would't eat chicken nuggets either or smiley faces. He is appallingly fussy, to the point of phobia about non-familiar foods, and whilst he is improving (and eats a balanced nutritious if narrow diet at home), going out to friends' causes anxiety about whether he wil like the food, and he can't eat at all. I always say to mums to just give him a little, but not to feel they have to find something else for him if he doesn't like it.

Dd on the other hand is a dream - eats anything and everything (although she does NOT like tomatoes raw). She will try any new food, and likes 'a bit of everything'.

She and ds1 were brought up identically as far as what foods they were given at weaning. The only differences were that ds1 wouldn't feed properly as a newborn, so was mixfed, dd was 100% b/fed, ds1 was weaned at 4 months (as per the recommendations then), dd at 6 months.

Original poster
Clary · 03/11/2009 00:20

sorry I don't really know what smiley faces are.

Just once when I asked a friend of DD's what veg her DB would eat that was one of the things she listed. I didn't have any in.

Sorry also about my uptight attitude . I just try to cook what I consider regular meals which I would want to eat too. I don't think I'd want to eat smiley faces tbh (tho it's hard to say I guess).

OP posts:
FluffysBeenBittenByAVampire · 03/11/2009 00:22

I'm better clary, could be worse

I like waffles

Original poster
Clary · 03/11/2009 00:23

lily I usually ask the children what they like to eat actually and give it to them as logn as I have it!

Anyway, now I think about it, some pals of all 3 came over just before half term and DS1's friend said "anything" to all my qus about what veg, was pasta OK etc.

They all ate everything so I'm going to shut up now. I have clearly had a bad day. sorry.

OP posts:
LilyBolero · 03/11/2009 00:24

I think it's fine to cook what you would normally for visiting children (though I do usually check what they like, having the world's fussiest child myself).

But please don't fall into the trap of assuming because they are fussy that they must 'eat badly at home'. Like I said, ds1 has a very healthy diet, it is just narrow. But today for supper he had macaroni cheese, with peas, and fruit smoothie. Tomorrow it might be pasta with a tomato based sauce. The next day a fish meal. He eats nutritiously, just lots of the same foods.

LilyBolero · 03/11/2009 00:24

x-post!

Original poster
Clary · 03/11/2009 00:27

No OK lily. Fair point.

Yr DS would be fine here then - that sounds like a typical Clary menu!

OP posts:
Tortington · 03/11/2009 00:27

i ask them if they like what i am cooking for dinner and qualify it with " cos if you don't, you won't eat - just let me know"

Snorbs · 03/11/2009 00:34

I Feel Your Pain. I've found that all of my DC's friends will eat, as a minimum, home-made chicken nuggets and potato wedges. I generally do some peas, corn on the cob and carrots for any of them who want some veg but for the most part I let them get on with it.

If there's only one or two friends over then I'll also let them make their own naan bread pizzas.

sticktoyourgins · 03/11/2009 00:35

Nowt wrong with smiley faces!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 03/11/2009 08:01

I get cross when this happens too. Unfortunately it is usually my own dd who refuses to eat what I have cooked. Sometimes she'll go mad and have some sweetcorn, but only if she has a friend here and wants to impress them with her veg eating ability.

IneedacleanerIamalazyslattern · 03/11/2009 08:02

I have had dd's friends over or eaten out with them and it has always been easy to find something to eat for them no problem.
It is dss who is amazingly full at every meal time unless it is the rare occasions that include chicken dippers etc oh and he will eat pizza too.

Funny he is never full those nights.

girlsyearapart · 03/11/2009 08:10

I have a friends dd who never eats anything I cook which I think is something to do with her Mum standing over her and saying 'Oh I don't think she'll eat that.' then proceeding to let her get down without even trying it and chasing her round the room with yoghurt 'to get something down her'..

GRRRRRRR..

My own dds, nieces, nephews, other friends dcs all eat what I cook so I can't be that bad!

Have given up cooking anything for her now (unless she's here without her Mum when mysteriously she eats it)

lisad123wantsherquoteinDM · 03/11/2009 08:11

we have dd1s friend over once a week as a standing arrangement, and sometimes she stays for tea sometimes she doesnt. If im cooking something she likes she stays, if not i dont feed her but text mum and let her know. Some people are surprised by what my kids will eat, but im happy. Dont think my 2 would eat smiley faces and nuggets either.

GetOrfMoiLand · 03/11/2009 08:17

I say do you like ... because that is what I am cooking. If they say no I will offer an alternative easy thing (like sausage and chips) which I will have in the freezer.

If they don't eat it I couldn't care less. It may be that what you offer is radically different than what they get at home. Say your spag bol could be made with entirely different ingredients than their mum uses.

But then I am laid back about what kids eat or refuse to eat, I was forced to the point of vomit to eat everything on my plate as a kid, and therefore am deliberately relaxed about food likes and dislikes. Seems to have paid off as dd is a dustbin who eats everything except caluiflower.

GunpowderTreasonAndDragons · 03/11/2009 08:17

I couldn't care less whether the guest children eat or not. I serve something I've checked they'll eat and that's it. I see my job as being to provide a decent meal they like, not to ensure they eat it.

[shrug] they won't starve.

MaMight · 03/11/2009 08:23

No point being peeved.

I tend to put out picky bits rather than a meal. There's plenty to eat but anything that doesn't get eaten can be served up another time.

TheFoosa · 03/11/2009 08:23

you would hate my dd then, she is vvvv fussy, has an issue with texture of food

I usually pre-warn parents not to go to any trouble for her

Imagine having a child like that EVERY NIGHT and not just occasionally

Bonsoir · 03/11/2009 08:25

I am totally relaxed about what other people's children eat at my house. I try to provide child-friendly food (and often ask visiting children in advance what they would like to eat) and have all sorts of alternatives in the fridge (cooked ham, Parma ham, cheese, cherry tomatoes, guacamole, taramasalata) in case the children don't like what I serve. But if they don't want to eat, they don't want to eat, and that is fine with me.

blueshoes · 03/11/2009 08:26

I am relaxed about whether my dcs finish the meals I cook for them (generally simplified versions of the adult's food). And I don't particularly care whether their guests eat what I cook for them, so long as I offer them something decent.

I know some of dd's friends end well at home, so that is not the issue.

Playdates are for fun, not for the food police. The children are generally quite open to ice lollies and baking cakes.

Bonsoir · 03/11/2009 08:30

Having said that, I had one small child round for a playdate who was so horrendous in every way that I ended up taking the two girls to the supermarket, buying them each a jar of Nutella and sitting them up at table with a Nutella jar and a spoon each

dexter73 · 03/11/2009 08:44

When I have had dd's friends over and they don't eat e.g. spag bol, it isn't because they are brought up on sausage rolls but because it tastes different to the one their mum cooks. One of my dd's friends also doesn't like frozen sweetcorn only tinned whereas I am the opposite!