to be a bit peeved at kids who don't eat their dinner (at my house)?

[Clary]

Well, probably yes.

But all the same. This seems to be a running theme here - DCs' pals come to tea and don't eat their food.

They don't make a fuss as a rule - they are nice kids. They don't even ask for any other food, tho I sometimes offer ("would you like an apple?")

But I serve up, ooh, outre stuff like sausages or pasta with tomato sauce, or obscure veg like leeks, and they get toyed with and left.

It gets a bit depressing, esp when the other week we had 3 pals over (I have 3DC) and out of the 6 kids at the table only mine ate the pasta with bol sauce!

DH says I should serve them frozen chicken nuggets with smiley faces (shudder) and then they'd eat.

I don't even know why it bothers mem except I find myself thinking well, I could have just saved that food for me and DH to eat.

OK obv I am just feeling like a laet-night rant, but does anyone else have this?

For certain visiting children I have given up and just stick to basics, although even a basic pasta dish or sausage and mash can be troublesome. If a new child coming I always ask parents first and do what I can.

It used to bug me a bit more, but have decided that it isn't for me to worry about anther person's child and their eating. Sometimes it is just excitement ndor nerves, other times cos they are fussy.

One thing I find it to do serving bowls of things, or a platter of options, so they can serve themselves.

So will have veggies in a bowl, or a "rainbow platter" of cold meats, tuna, egg, salad sticks, fruit, bread or pitta, humous dips, some potato wedges, crisps, etc - whatever I have in. They always seem to eat more that way.

Hula that's a really good idea.

thesecondcocking - I would just keep offering fruit and veggie sticks, bread and butter, sandwiches, etc. or whatever I had in. If a child wouldn't eat anything at all when here I would be concerned, if staying overnight, and might even consider calling parents to see what action to take next.

Loads of kids are fussy. No biggie. But I don't offer alternatives. Eat it or go hungry.

Smiley faces and fried eggs + don't knock it til you've tried it!

I haven't come across any particularly fussy kids, but I do find they are just too busy to be too worried about sitting down to eat.

Mostly they will run to the table after washing hands, eat a couple of mouthfuls, squirm about obviously desperate to be doing something else and then dash off ASAP.

I usually just let their mum know when she picks them up that they haven't really eaten very much. It isn't important.

My DS won't eat a thing at other peoples houses. That being said I do tell people he won't eat before he goes and not to cook anything specially for him.

When other kids come here I tend to do things like salady bits (carrot/cucumber/peppers), plain pasta/tortillas, seperate bowl of sauce, garlic bread and grated cheese and let them help themselves. Rice crispie cakes, jelly and fruit for afters.

as a former fussy eater myself, I do sympathise with children who are tricky about food. I don't get wound up if they don't eat - they aren't my children, if they go home hungry I'm sure they'll find some food there.

I do ask the first time they come over to play if there's anything they particularly like or dislike. Apart from that, they get what I'm making and can take it or leave it.

Most of them are OK really. Although in the very early days of friends over to play, I was stumped by one little girl who reacted to hummus, pitta bread, cucumber and cherry tomatoes as if it was the work of the devil.

Offered her a cheese sandwich, only we had the 'wrong' cheese and the 'wrong' type of bread! Think she ended up with a yoghurt. When her mother turned up, I explained she hadn't eaten much. THEN the mother said oh yes, I should have warned you she's very fussy...

Cheered me up a bit actually as that mother came across as Little Miss Perfect with perfect kids and a perfect house and perfectly organised etc. etc. etc.

YANBU, it frustrates me when I've prepared meals that sit there being sulked at when my own kids are tucking in but tbh I now go with things I know will usually get eaten up - casseroles, fish fingers, pasta - and then if they don't eat much I usually just mention to the parents so they know their child isn't hungry because I refused to feed them!!!
I do get a bit at how limited some children's diets must be when I get given long lists of basic foods that a child won't eat and I dread having niece over because she plays with her food, puts some in her mouth and usually then spits it out, which I find really disgusting and not acceptable for a 3 yr old. Maybe I'm being a bit unreasonable myself about that but grrrrrr..

YAB(a bit)U, but then I've about-turned on this subject in the past year!

I used to be very irritated and what I percieved to be "fussy" kids not eating their dinner at our house, especially veg etc., because my son's always been a good eater.
However, I have witnessed my son not eating at other's houses a few times now, when the food is exactly the same thing we would eat, and come to realise that's how he probably comes across too! I think when everything is a bit different (from the utensils and plates down to the food obviously tasting a bit different if homemade) and adding in excitement, it's perfectly normal.

So now it's recognisable stuff like fishfingers, peas and wedges/chips, or like yesterday when he had friends over, cheese sandwiches and jam sandwiches with a shared bowl of cucumber and tomates etc., as I don't want to waste homecooked food like you say. And in all the excitement even the jam sandwiches had to be forced down!

If I were you I would have them over to play and send them home at tea-time..have your dinner later and just provide a snack for DC's friends after school. Or (depending how often they come over) have chips that night-it's easier. Food waste is a crime in this reccession

lilyjen - that's a really good idea for those kids who really won't eat anything. Even sending them home at 5.30pm is still giving them 2 hours play after school. Saves wasting decent food on picky eaters!

I don't think them not eating at your house means they eat rubbish at home. Children are often funny about the same dish made at a different house i.e. DS's fave at our house is fish pie or pasta with pesto pine nuts and cheese. Even if my mum makes these EXACTLY the way I do he is less keen on eating them at my mum's. If I'm feeding other people's children at my house, depending on how much time we have I normally take them to the shop to choose what they want for tea and then get them involved with the cooking which normally gets them eating. DS and DD are only 4 and two and so their oldest friends are 8, not sure if it'd work with teenagers but teenagers normally like pizza and I'm guessing would enjoy making their own pizzas and choosing toppings with me which might be better than some frozen smiley face things...

Although, if that's what they wanted for tea I might make it as coming round for tea is a treat.

4 and 3 sorry, pregnant brain!

LOL at wasted food, I just give it to DH when he gets home.

Hmm, I think it's largely down to different recipes/ingredients/varieties/preparation when children don't eat things which has been advised they like. I used to eat anything and everything as a child, but I distinctly remember being served spag bol at a friend's house and barely being able to eat it because it seemed so bland and watery (I think it was just literally mince with onions and a tin of tomatoes) compared to my mum's spag bol. It wasn't even the same colour - it was grey rather than red which I was used to.

I also remember going to another friend and being asked if I liked spaghetti. After assuring them I did, it ended up being Heinz spaghetti on toast with cheese on top, popped under the grill to ensure maximum sogginess. Again, it really wasn't what I was expecting and I couldn't eat it.

Ah y'see morloth I would have given it to DH, that's the point.

I couldn't tho really, as it had been played about with on a plate. So I ended up binning (composting at least) 3 platefuls of perfectly good bolognese sauce and pasta with side order of veg on one occasion recently.

Wish I had known - would have kept it for me and DH and just served my kids - except then that looks rude!

I don't care that they haven't eaten as in "oh dear they will go hungry, oh dear what a bother to find sthg they will eat" - not my problem thank goodness.

It's not a constant problem thank goodness (see my latter post last night!) but still bugs me now and then. A bit. Ah well. Maybe I'll give up on the dinner bit and just serve a picnic as Hula suggests.

Applesinmypocket you show incredible patience when you recount this story and display sympathy for it's main character:

"I did once give a children's party where a big picnic tea was laid out on the lawn - every nice thing you can imagine. One young lad came to me big-eyed with tragedy:

"There's not a single thing here I like!" he said, lip a-wobble. "Not - one - single - thing," head shaking on each word to emphasise the totality of the disaster.

"Do you like icecream?" I tried in desperation.

"Yes - but only vanilla." Vanilla was produced.

Tears sprang and poured. "But I don't like yellow vanilla!" he cried.

Bless."

BLESS?? I would be irritated beyond belief and what's more I don't think this sort of precious behaviour ought to be tolerated. Apart from anything else it's rude. I would probably have said something more like, 'Ah well ... that's what you get for being so fussy. You need to try more foods.'

Clary you don't want to go composting pasta bolognese nor anything cooked. It attracts rats.

I always ask the mum or dad if there is anything in particular that the kids won't eat. Then I don't get stressed. And agree about the cooked food in compost - rataroony

This thread reminded me to check with the mother of a boy who is coming round for the first time later this week.

Just as well I did, turns out for medical reasons there are foods he finds extremely difficult to eat...

spidey and sassybeast I mean in the brown bin

AFAIK our council accepts cooked food in that...

My reaction in the yellow vanilla story would have been the same as yours spidey btw.

My ds (nearly 3) is a good eater but often if we're at a friend's for lunch he just messes with his food.

I don't expect the host to jump through hoops for him, if he decides that he doesn't want it then he doesn't get pudding and he's hungry until the next meal. Sometimes he's not bothered, sometimes he strops, but the outcome is the same .

It's what happens at home and I'm quite happy for the same house rules to apply when he eats at others.

Like it, lump it or leave it as my mum used to say!

Its funny as well the things a lot of folks see as sure fire

cherry tomatoes -DS is with Lola on that 'I will not ever NEVER eat a tomato- so no
cucumber -no
humous -no (although he did till he was 2)
peppers -no
pizza- if ANY toppings apart from ham. No

However his fave meal is fish, boiled potatoes or couscous plus brocolli and cauliflour, so to see him eat that you would think he was a good little eater...

Intersting stuff.

BTW I do like potato waffles AND smiley faces. Both very yummy. Has anyone tried the Asda potato waffles with hidden carrot? Very impressed as DS wolfed them down