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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking that if we have monthly income of £3700 net we could spare £120 to spend on a cleaner?

769 replies

effedorf · 01/11/2009 20:03

3+ years posting here, namechange for obvious reasons.

But, seriously, what do you think?

The income all comes from dh and I am sahm. We have two primary school age children. I truly hate cleaning and I do 95% of the food shopping and cooking and 100% of the laundry and 95% of all the other things that makes a family tick over.

Or am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
PippiTheWarGoddess · 03/11/2009 21:15

happywomble rather than cleaning I could/would/do the following:

read a book/newspaper
write
talk to friends I never have time for
cook nicer dinners
play with children/read to them/help them with whatever they want to do
go for a run/gym/swim
take children out over to friends/museum/parks etc
study
do all my dh expenses
do all paperwork
sort out drawers clothes
go and see exhibitions
put picture up or general house making
bake cakes
watch great movies on dvd or at the cinema (have not been for years )

and many many more I could easily come up with.

mind you I do most of the above anyway and at time live in a tip which annoys me. But not to the point to sacrifice all the above.

not a status symbol here at all.

JesusChristOtterStar · 03/11/2009 21:16

womble i was SHOCKED the other day when a friend of mine repeatedly madea joke about not cleaning and 'paying ' someone to clean her house

it means bollocks all to me - everyone i know has a cleaner - literally...90% of my friends and i dont give a toss
slightly off topic here but
i was also looking at buying a new car and the review said 'if you want to impress your neighbours with your ( insert amount of thousands) £ then do NOT buy this car...
would not cross my mind

PippiTheWarGoddess · 03/11/2009 21:18

oh and I agree it might be a fat burned but much more enjoyable doing it at the gym/park/swimmin pool imo.

re no 2: you do check and have faith. It is the same when you eat at a restaurant (trust me I have worked there) or go to a hotel. It is about letting go.

KristinaM · 03/11/2009 21:24

if you want a cleaner and can afford it, then why not? its your money

i don't understand the arguement that you don't really "need" one. Most of us don't "need" lots of things we buy - like new clothes, alcohol, cigarettes, chocolate biscuits, nights out, status cars etc . Many MANY posters spend more than £120 on clothes each month and dont get slated

JesusChristOtterStar · 03/11/2009 22:03

agree kristina gym membership - take outs
loads of readers spend 25 quid a week on take away and bottle of wine on a friday - there's your cleaner - too lazy to cook were you?

spiritinthesky · 03/11/2009 22:18

i am a cleaner. I wish I lived near all you lot, i could do with some more work.And I dont use the same cloth on all the surfaces!

prettybird · 03/11/2009 23:39

I assume that those people who have critised the OP for not wanting to do the cleaning "because she has the time to do it" also disagree with the use of dishwashers and washing machines . After all, they cost money to buy and then save time which you don't need to spend doing something you don't like. Surely "buying in" a cleaner is only a different form of investment?

For the record, I happne to enjoy ironing (if there is something decent on TV) but don't like cleaning. When I was working FT (I am currently "having a sabbatical" after being made redunndant), we didn't have a cleaner as dh didn't want one. As a result, he did (and still does) most of the cleaning (he was a SAHD/setting up his own business). OTOH, I do most of the cooking and shopping.

Sakura · 04/11/2009 00:47

Off topic, but kind of relevant:
I've worked as a cleaner in various places.

One was the best job I ever had. Okay, it was in Nice so the beautiful scenery helped, and it was at a summer school so lots of young people like meself to befriend. But the work itself gave me a great deal of satisfaction that has been difficult for me to recapture since in other jobs. I've worked as a teacher (HATED that), a translator (that was ok) and writer (love that but very isolating).

I've also worked in an old people's residential home an cleaned some things that may turn the stomach of some people. THat wasn't so great, but I still enjoyed it to a certain extent.

But I just can't get the same sense of a job well done when I'm cleaning my own home!

Tortington · 04/11/2009 01:17

i think that the ops husband should go to work all week whilst she does what the hell she wants with the money he earns whilst the kids are at school and she has eff all else to do

go get your nails done - you can afford it and you have the time.

sarah293 · 04/11/2009 06:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 04/11/2009 06:56

£3,700 might be your net take home pay but what is your actual DISPOSABLE income after mortgage, bills, pension, insurance, car etc . If there is enough in that to afford £120 then I say go for it, if you are deciding a cleaner is more important than a pension then I think you are a fool.

SofaQueen · 04/11/2009 07:03

"Agree with Porto. Who actually likes cleaning?! Where is the line between SAHM and lady of leisure? "

Statements like this make me incandescent with anger.

I have a cleaner for 12 hours a week because my role is not to clean, but to me a mum and COO of the household!

Yesterday, one of the days the cleaner came, I did 2 loads of laundry, cooked 4 different breakfasts, prepared one lunchbox and 2 lunches, did painting with DS2, read DS2 4 books, had a playdo session with DS2, took DS2 to the library and the park, did drop-off and pick-up of DS1, went back to DS1's school during the day to discuss P`a issues with the head, oversaw DS1's piano practice, oversaw DS1's reading, revised DS1's spelling, prepared a roast loin of pork with apricots and apples, grilled said roast on the BBQ, served it and cleaned up the dishes and tidied kitchen, did some work for one of the 2 charities I'm on, did work for the PA which I am head of, did 2 bath for the kids, read 3 chapters aloud of Harry Potter for DS1, preoared the marinade for the salmon for today, got DS1's uniform ready for today, did some admin work for DH, read a couple chapters in mr book then bed. This is a typical day. HARDLY lady of leisure!

SofaQueen · 04/11/2009 07:04

Sorry for typos, had DS2 on my lap (feeding), so was typing badly with one hand.

KimiTheThreadSlayingRocket · 04/11/2009 07:18

I like cleaning

nostrila · 04/11/2009 07:26

ITA with SofaQueen.

When I was a SAHM I was the person who volunteered at pre-school, heard kids read at school and helped out on school trips.

Remember SAHM's, you must not ever relax or enjoy yourselves. You must ensure the comfort of the great wage earner at all times. Ditch your washing machines, get a mangle and you should probably wear one of those thorny things around your thighs too just to remind yourself of your station in life!!

sarah293 · 04/11/2009 08:00

This reply has been deleted

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Bonsoir · 04/11/2009 08:03

Anyway, what kind of sexist man wants his SAHW to do the cleaning? I can understand that he might need her to clean, if their joint finances cannot stretch to a cleaner, or that he might let her do the cleaning herself if she really wants to. But wants her to clean?

I can understand that mothers choose to WOH if their DHs/DPs have that attitude!

KimiTheThreadSlayingRocket · 04/11/2009 08:04

, no really I have OCD so I have to have thinks orderly and clean, I really enjoy sitting in a clean tidy house, and I do like to clean things sad I know.

I do have 2 children, a life and a part time job so I do not just spend my whole life cleaning, but I do like it

bronze · 04/11/2009 08:43

What would you do with the extra hours if you didn't have a cleaner? Am intrigued.

I walk to school and back three times a day. I look after and clean out the animals and birds. I do the rest of the cleaning (cleaner only does kitchen, bathroom and a few bits once a week) I do the cooking. I do the gardening (grow veg) I'm on the playgroup committee. I do the laundry. I spend time with my children as well as going swimming etc with them. At the moment I have to sit and feed the baby. I have 4 children, the eldest is 6 and I'm shattered a lot of the time. Two of them are in the house pretty much all day and are real dirtmunchers which I love but... Our house is on the market and I need it to be ready to go any time someone needs a viewing. Of course there is other stuff I do as well. Most parents couldn't list everything they do but we all know there is a billion and one jobs that just get done. I'm mning til I take them to school in a mo and then I'll be feeding the baby then cleaning the quail out.

ooojimaflip · 04/11/2009 09:36

Sofa Queen How the HELL does your cleaner find 12 hours of cleaning a week to do!

Bonsoir · 04/11/2009 09:37

12 hours of cleaning per week is pretty standard for a family of four. If you interview cleaning companies here in Paris, that's what they usually quote for if there are 2 adults and 2 children in the family.

ZephirineDrouhin · 04/11/2009 09:44

YANBU. Get a cleaner. Surprised you need to ask.

(And the posting your income thing is a little vulgar. If you've been posting for three years one would think you might know better...)

SofaQueen · 04/11/2009 09:50

Trust me - there is a MINIMUM of 12 hours of cleaning to do a week here.

Bonsoir · 04/11/2009 09:52

12 hours of cleaning is for a family of four where everyone is out at work/school all day. When people are at home, you need more than 12 hours.

Hando · 04/11/2009 09:52

Earning precisely £3700 may not be that huge an income, it wouldn't leave you with loads of spare cash if you have £2000 a month to spend on rent (large 4 bed house in London where I live would be about this much) plus bills, food, cars etc. I would get a cleaner if I could afford it. So YANBU to want a cleaner if you can afford one.

YABU to not be able to cope (generally) cleaning a medium sized house when you do not work and you have 2 primary school children. But if you have spare money then why do it yourself? Get a cleaner and have a comfy lifestyle with your free time.

I also find posting your (larger than average) household income quite unsavoury when it's not really necessary.

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