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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking that if we have monthly income of £3700 net we could spare £120 to spend on a cleaner?

769 replies

effedorf · 01/11/2009 20:03

3+ years posting here, namechange for obvious reasons.

But, seriously, what do you think?

The income all comes from dh and I am sahm. We have two primary school age children. I truly hate cleaning and I do 95% of the food shopping and cooking and 100% of the laundry and 95% of all the other things that makes a family tick over.

Or am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
bibbitybobbityhat · 03/11/2009 19:21

It is the point Custy. Because we have a decent family income (piffling by some of our fellow posters standards, I know) it is not unreasonable, surely, to spend some of it on small luxuries? We are lucky to be beyond the point of breaking even. We don't pay school fees, for instance, we have one normal family car, my haircuts cost £30 four times a year, I don't have any other beauty treatments or even gym membership. You see this is the point of my op and why I crassly put the amounts in £££ in - to put it in context. If you met someone who earned £80,000 pa and he didn't have a cleaner (whether or not his dp worked) wouldn't you think that a bit tight fisted?

Bonsoir · 03/11/2009 19:22

I like playing house. Which includes some cleaning. Just like I like dressing my family.

I liked playing with dolls and dolls houses when I was a child, too .

Twintummy · 03/11/2009 19:24

I couldn't do it. We've just had a paycut to about your income and I can't afford a cleaner. Depends on your outgoings and priorites. Our mortgage is huge so I'd rather spend the money on luxuries for the kids. Also being a SAHM with 3 kids at school I couldn't justify a cleaner.

bibbitybobbityhat · 03/11/2009 19:25

Lol at visitors book!

I didn't dare step into the surreal world of that thread.

BaronessBarbaraKingstanding · 03/11/2009 19:27

NEEDING a cleaner is not really the issue here is it?

It's if you can afford one and you WANT one why shoudln't you.

As I said, it's buying yourself time to do other things. Which of pourse is a luxury, but it would definitely be my number one luxury if I had to choose.

which I don't do I??

AlaskaNebraska · 03/11/2009 19:28

god yes it frees up my day off to.... oh yes take my dad to the hospital

thrilling...!

Lotster · 03/11/2009 19:28

I'm at home with a 3 year old and an 8 month old and have a couple of hours help a week as my back/hip is bad. I seem to spend all day cooking/wiping/washing/picking up just to stem the flow of mess my two can make so it's nice to have a day where someone helps.

I mostly tidy before she gets here so she can get at the areas needing cleaning, and for two hours/£8 an hour so £16, she; does dishwasher, cleans kitchen floor, hoovers everywhere, cleans bathroom, dusts blinds, makes my bed, general dusting, takes rubbish out etc. I am usually working alongside her hanging/folding washing.

It really helps me out, but even if I didn't have a bad back I would still consider it as in total we're talking £69 a month, which is just over half the budget you seem to be talking about. I don't think you need to spend as much as you think to get a bit of help. Just pick someone fast!

And anyone's opinion on whether you should/shouldn't have a cleaner is neither here nor there!

AlaskaNebraska · 03/11/2009 19:29

oh dishwasher is a bad use of cleaner imo

pinkmagic1 · 03/11/2009 19:30

If you can afford it, then go for it. I can't afford a cleaner on mine and DH's peanut wages but if I could I definitely would, even if I was a full time sahm as I can't stand cleaning and ironing. Very envious!

BaronessBarbaraKingstanding · 03/11/2009 19:31

If you didn't have the cleaner Nebraska would you have told your old dad to make his own way cos your shower needed de-smearing??

DebiNewberry · 03/11/2009 19:32

No, of course not. My dh is a sahp. He is amazing at it. We have a cleaner and get the ironing done. It means we both have more time, and he hates it. Life is too short.

Bodeniiites · 03/11/2009 19:33

heres a newsflash for you cleaners dont really enjoy it either they do it mostly because they need the money not for the joy of it they clean other peoples houses and then go home and clean their own now thats drudgery i know because i was one for years

PortoTreasonandPlot · 03/11/2009 19:34

very well put Bodeniites

TheBossofMe · 03/11/2009 19:44

I don't doubt that my cleaner doesn't really enjoy cleaning. That's why she's a part-time student working very hard to get her qualifications up to scratch so that she can get a better job and not clean anymore. And why I'm quite happy employing her - she does a job for me, earns a decent wage doing it, and gets to build her future using the money she earns. Lots of people do jobs they don't like, it doesn't mean we shouldn't ask them to do it if it serves a purpose for them. The point is that I don't like it, and can afford not to have to do it, so I don't.

LOL Anna - I loved dolls houses as well, but hated clearing up after playtime - says it all, really!

BaronessBarbaraKingstanding · 03/11/2009 19:44

Did anyoe suggest they enjoyed it?

It's their job they do it for the money, we don't really need a newsflash for that.

Shall we make a list of boring jobs poeple don't enjoy but they do them anyway because they get paid for it?

It would be a long list.

Are poeple suggesting it's immoral to pay someone else to do the boring job you don't want to do? Beacuse I think if we all followed that flimsy principle the economy may end up in even more trouble than it already is.

Lotster · 03/11/2009 20:01

"oh dishwasher is a bad use of cleaner imo"

Alaska I agree! But can't stop her, she wants the surfaces clean before she wipes 'em.. Reminds me, I must ask her this week to stop putting half loads on!

I got her through a mumsnet recommendation and she's great.

DebiNewberry · 03/11/2009 20:04

I don't know anyone who works for the joy of it. Even the ones that like their jobs, pretty much do it for the money.

wonderingwondering · 03/11/2009 20:08

I think there's an element of self-respect that comes from working, even if you don't like or enjoy your job, you get some satisfaction from doing a job well and earning something for it. That's how I felt when I was doing jobs I didn't enjoy, day to day.

But now I don't work for the money, I work (p/t) because I enjoy it and I missed work when I was a SAHM.

MillyR · 03/11/2009 20:17

I haven't read the whole thread.

I work full time and don't have a cleaner. This is because my house is too untidy for a cleaner to clean. If your house is tidy enough for you to be able employ a cleaner, then I am impressed.

My best friend is a SAHM; her husband works ludicrously long hours. She has a cleaner and a childminder (only part time). She seems happy enough and so is her husband.

If you want a cleaner, get one. I can't see the issue. It is no different from not making your own clothes really.

Petsville · 03/11/2009 20:20

In the OP's shoes I'd definitely have a cleaner - I hate cleaning too, but like living in a clean house. DH has much greater tolerance for mess than I do, and when I first moved in with him I insisted that we had a cleaner to preserve marital harmony. I was a full-time student at the time and had virtually no money of my own, but I would have been incandescent at the suggestion that it was somehow my job to clean because I wasn't bringing in much money. And that was for two adults - there weren't any children making a mess of the house. I watched my mother being treated like the household skivvy by my father and absolutely vowed I'd never get into that position.

LeninGrad hit the nail on the head earlier - why would the OP's husband want her to do something that makes her miserable? Especially if she stays at home to facilitate his doing work he loves.

PippiTheWarGoddess · 03/11/2009 20:33

I do not understand why people feel that one should clean just because she has got the time. If there are money to afford it why not use this precious time to do something worthwile, i.e. something one enjoys.
It is one life FGS if you can get out of the drudgery why not doing it. No one will give you a medal for having cleaned your own house even though you could have avoided it and on your death bed you would certainly regret all that waste of time.

atm I have not got a cleaner, although all this chit chat about it def convinced me to go and get one, and on most days I still think it is better to play with children/read a book/help a friend/go to museum etc. nothing really happens if the house is a mess for an extra day.

eidsvold · 03/11/2009 20:37

get speed cleaning book by shannon lush - changed the way I clean and made it so much easier breaking it into manageable portions.

happywomble · 03/11/2009 21:07

I am currently an SAHM it has not crossed my mind to have a cleaner.

  1. Cleaning your own house is excercise and burns calories.
  1. How do you know your cleaner's are cleaning in a hygenic fashion...what if they wipe the basin with the same cloth they've used for the loo? Are they using the same equipment they've used in other houses- maybe bringing in grime/dirt/dust!
  1. You have to either wait in for them at a particular time each week or entrust them with your housekeys..not keen on either of these.
  1. You have to tidy up for them to do their job so may has well clean anyway.
  1. As a SAHM I would just feel too guilty/lazy not doing the cleaning. I have time to do it so should just get on with cleaning when necessary...ok it is a bit dispiriting when the house gets messed up 2 hours later but this happens after a cleaner has been anyway.

What would you do with the extra hours if you didn't have a cleaner? Am intrigued.

I really think having a cleaner is a status symbol these days. People like to think they can afford to pay someone else to do their cleaning.

I think window cleaning is different as involves a high ladder so have no problem in paying for that. I also pay to have the car cleaned as its only £6 a time and I can't reach the roof/do it as well as the person cleaning it.

JesusChristOtterStar · 03/11/2009 21:09

i am a sahm and today is not an odd day in that i have cleaned ALL day

I really need a cleaner to stop myself doing this as its a wee bit of a waste of life

happywomble · 03/11/2009 21:12

gosh have just noticed terrible typos in my post...should be a SAHM and cleaners not cleaner's