in thinking that if we have monthly income of £3700 net we could spare £120 to spend on a cleaner?

[effedorf]

3+ years posting here, namechange for obvious reasons.

But, seriously, what do you think?

The income all comes from dh and I am sahm. We have two primary school age children. I truly hate cleaning and I do 95% of the food shopping and cooking and 100% of the laundry and 95% of all the other things that makes a family tick over.

Or am I being unreasonable?

TheBossOfme - great post. And yes, you sound pretty Senior in my book!

Yes but I work through lunch and have to catch up in the evenings often.

Porto - isn't it about choosing how to spend your time, though? And for many of us, the working day is a lot longer than that, and more unpredictable - it's nice to know that the house is getting a thorough going over once a week, and I find it very de-stressing to come home to a house that looks a bit like a hotel once a week (or those bits that the girls haven't got to yet anyway )

Why not have a cleaner if you want to? Where is all this judging coming from?

violethill - didn't feel so senior just now when I was on my hands and knees scrubbing up vomit! Got some fab tips about how to get rid of puke smells out of carpet - three cheers for Mumsnet!

Oh, and by the way, OP, just get a cleaner and don't even give it another thought. If you can afford it, make the choices that are right for you and right for your family. I too hate cleaning and have had a cleaner for years now - would never give her up as long as I can afford to pay her wages!

Theboss - what do you do when you simply can't be at home? Does your DP help, or do you have good child care?
I know I always struggled becuase I had a DH who worked longer hours and travelled a lot, and I never did find a decent nanny.

Fair enough. But you can do errands on the way home - stuff like picking up your DD and the shopping. If you can't leave work until after the shops shut (let alone after school ends) those things are impossible.

My DP is currently moaning about his new secretary who works 9 - 5. The old one worked 9 - 6 with days off. Both systems are allowed under French working hours legislation - the point being that younger workers seem to prefer shorter hours, whereas older workers prefer days off. Younger workers want to shop after work, whereas older ones are used to doing shopping at the weekend.

And Porto - I'm sure everone could manage but why do it if you don't want to?
I have a cleaner and a gardener ans someone who deos the ironing.

I loath all those activities and would rather not, frankly.

stickylittlefingers - possibly because nobody has a cleaner unless they are old and then it is justified, lol?

The only people I know with cleaners, are quite elderly!

Most couples do the weekly cleaning together on a friday.....

Lichick - Right now the situation is unusual - my husband is a part-time SAHD, part-time student doing yet more postgraduate qualifications (needed in his career because he too is pretty senior, working in an industry where a lot of weight is attached to the latest management thinking)before returning to his job FT in Jan. So at the moment, there are only 3 days a week where I have to be available if needed, DH is with DD the other two.

Nanny is also on ML at the moment (back FT in Jan) so hence another reason that DH is at home 2 days a week. So the remaining three days, DD is at nursery with shared pick-up drop-offs by both parents. So good childcare is essential - we pay way above the going rate round here, but she's top class and worth every damn penny. And maybe I've just been lucky, but we've never yet had a situation where one of us (DH or myself) haven't been able to get to DD within an hour or so when needed. The rule in our family is that we don't travel away from home at the same time.

It is no-one elses business who has a cleaner and why. If the OP feels she needs one and they have the money I cannot see any problem at all. What on earth is all this about?

I see. I like the idea of everyone doing the cleaning together on a Friday ... in another life!

LOL at stickylittlefingers

Well it sounds as if it's working for you very well.
And that's the thing no? If it's mostly working and mostly good, then I think that's good enough.
I'm not convinced everything has to be perfect in life.

When the balance tips, then you have to start making changes, I feel.

Quint - please let me off the Friday cleaning.
I...just...can't...

Wouldn't be without my cleaner, but I'm a total skiver when it comes to cleaning and posted on the long-running 'to iron or not to iron' debate to this effect. Keep the economy going and hire at will!

Totally agree litchick. If you think you'll find perfection, you'll be disappointed. Set your sights high, and be glad when things are good, your children are happy, and your job's going well. Sounds good enough to me.

litchick - lol, it could be a bonding experience. You, dp over the bucket, cleaning and canoodling...

Litchick - i couldn't agree more. I go through an almost constant re-evaluation process, where I'm thinking about what's working, what's not working, what we need to change, and whether the balance is right. And its mostly good right now (although far from perfect, its true), but that doesn't mean that its going to remain this way. I have to be prepared for the fact that our situation is an ever changing beast, and what's right for now might not be right 6 month, 12 months or 12 years from now.

Am sounding very smug - am really far from it in real life! Am constantly amazed at how far away my life is from the ideal that I had in my head growing up. We're a happy bunch though, and that's what's important to me.

You wearing a little apron and him wearing...a smile

only if the smell of disinfectant is a turn-on... that would have to be a very particular fetish

PMSL at the thought of a Friday night date canoodling over a bucket of bleach!

Effedorf if I were you I would defintely get a cleaner.

I put it off for years as I felt as I only worked 2 days, I ought to be able to do my own cleaning.

I gave in and got a cleaner last year and it's the best money spend.

Claening is a dull, repetitive relentless task-if you can pay someone else to do it so you can do more fulfilling things whether that's work or play badminton then do it.

If you've got spare money, time is the most precious and valuable commodity to buy for yourself with it.

Of course if you can't afford it don't. (but you obviously can.)

Wasn't there a company that sent nude male cleaners round dust crevices...

Note to self - must see if they still exist....

YANBU to post your income, if you feel moved to do so. FGS, no-one would kick off if you said your income was £800 a month. You should not be made to feel ashamed or secretive about what dh earns if you are comfortable disclosing these detail. People need to get over jealousy of those who earn a lot of money. FWIW, i would not myself disclose details of my finances to others, but that is my choice and I don't seek to impose my views on you. Also i think 'tory' is a dirty word .

Oh, and the cleaner, yanbu if you can afford it.

ROFL at dust crevices!