in thinking that if we have monthly income of £3700 net we could spare £120 to spend on a cleaner?

[effedorf]

3+ years posting here, namechange for obvious reasons.

But, seriously, what do you think?

The income all comes from dh and I am sahm. We have two primary school age children. I truly hate cleaning and I do 95% of the food shopping and cooking and 100% of the laundry and 95% of all the other things that makes a family tick over.

Or am I being unreasonable?

Your secret is safe with us

even if I am

"if the Op's DH feels that she should do the cleaning (given that we are only talking 3 or 4 hours a week here), then I think she should do the cleaning."

And THAT is the problem. The total inequality. They both make the mess after all.

It's not lazy of anyone "to want cleaner". There is no virtue or moral worth in doing your family's cleaning. If you don't like doing your own cleaning, pay for someone else to do it, and do something else (maybe something that covers the cost of the cleaner, if that makes you feel better) while someone else is cleaning your house.

What about DH's that don't want their DWs to do the cleaning? My sister has one of those - she used to fight with him endlessly over the hours of cleaning help they had. He wanted full-time, she couldn't stand it!

"the end result of the out-sourcing - other women having to clean." Nope - my cleaner has outsourced the work to her student son! (and v good at it he is too).

agree bonsoir there are no medals for cleaning!

Get the cleaner!

Tell him either you are getting a cleaner or you will go back to work full time and then he will have to do 50% of the cleaning (and everything else). You'll find he's just like you: keen for someone else to do the cleaning.

OP- you have changed the stakes a little now. At the beginning, your DH worked long hrs, was never back home before 7pm, usually worked at least one day of the weekend, etc. Now, it appears, 'DH enjoys what he does and is well rewarded for it. He more or less chooses when he works and is free to do things like agree to go to Cape Town next year for 30 days without too much fuss on my part.'
If the question was, is it a little lazy that a SAHM with two school age children has a cleaner (in the UK), I think the answer is yes, it is a little.
I think Violet has put her points across clearly. It is not about just whether you hate cleaning nor about him telling you what to do but about a process of negotiation between the two of you.

PMSL at people suggesting the Op should say to her husband "we're having a cleaner or I will go back to work full time and you can do half the cleaning"!!!! If the Op prefers to stay at home whilst kids are at school, and can't be bothered to do the cleaning, I hardly think she'd be receptive to the idea of going back to work full time.

And to the person who noted that the inequality was due to DH making half of the mess too - yes I'm sure he does, but he also works a 50 hours+ week, whilst his wife is at home mumsnetting doing laundry and food shopping, it's a hard life isn't it?!

Oops, meant mumsnetting

Really sorry if I am repeating anything but my opinion is
As you are managing the house , part of the management strategy is to delegate tasks and time managemnet.
To employ a cleaner to do tasks that would free you, the manager, up to do other more production tasks i.e. cooking and childcare etc. makes sense.

Oh I see we are still going around in circles

I want to know what the OP is doing with all her spare time I am picturing a lithe young man in the background.

Well for the sake of 3 hours a week, I think it is worth it - nowhere has the OP said she sits doing nothing all the while the kids are at school - there's any number of things she might be busy with (and many of them worthwhile things, not just having her nails done).

If you can afford it, you might as well do it - the person you employ will be pleased because they have work, the OP will be pleased because she won't have to do the hated bits of the cleaning and the dh will be pleased because his house will be cleaner. Win-win-win.

There are many things I hate doing, and would gladly pay people to do if I had the money - not because I 'couldn't be bothered' but because if you have the money, and really hate something, then why not?

... or in the foreground

I don't see what why the fact that her husband has a rewarding and interesting job factors in to this issue?

If the op is bored at home she could look for work and be just as stimulated and interested as him. It simply isn't the case that his working pattern prevents her from working at all. They have chosen together that he will work outside the home, she will do so inside the home setting and together that provides an economically stable and spiritually supportive family unit. Now wants to rewrite the rules by actually increasing the household costs in order to free her up to something she isn't totally specific or clear on - 'projects' were mentioned I think This is a mutual decision pertaining to the operation of their mutual unit.

"whilst his wife is at home mumsnetting"

Oh right - because women should be ashamed of any leisure time at all - and people with FT jobs never have breaks of any sort.

... wearing a smile

Absolutely, don't you realise women have to be martyrs to the housework and must scuttle around from morning till night, never once sitting down or pausing to draw breath.

Do you think women who don't work should be allowed gym membership?

My MIL's mother literally did clean from morning till night - 5am she got up to clean and prepare the house, didn't go to bed until after midnight. They still had a cleaner!

... and not much else