Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in thinking that if we have monthly income of £3700 net we could spare £120 to spend on a cleaner?

769 replies

effedorf · 01/11/2009 20:03

3+ years posting here, namechange for obvious reasons.

But, seriously, what do you think?

The income all comes from dh and I am sahm. We have two primary school age children. I truly hate cleaning and I do 95% of the food shopping and cooking and 100% of the laundry and 95% of all the other things that makes a family tick over.

Or am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 02/11/2009 10:26

Working as a cleaner, for money, is completely different from doing it for fun, KittyFisher, I don't think nostrilla intended to be rude.

SolidGhoulBrass · 02/11/2009 10:27

Kittyfisher: working as a cleaner is not wasting your life, it's generating income (and far less depressing than having to do it at home). Being the only perons in the household who does the boring shitwork day in day out, unnoticed, with it being treated as though it's part of your function, is a waste of a life.
As someone said further up, in the current climate if you can afford to give someone a job, you should do so. Everyone benefits. If I could afford a cleaner I would definitely have one.

LordVetinarisApprentice · 02/11/2009 10:27

I hate cleaning but I hate a dirty house. We can just about afford it, I work part time and am happy for some of my wages to pay for cleaner, I'd rather be at work for two extra hours than cleaning! We've had a cleaners for about 7 years and they clean better than me too.
GO for it!

Sn0wflake · 02/11/2009 10:32

sorry bad choice of words....what I meant was a part time job that you enjoy. You hate housework (I loathe it too and I have a cleaner) so do something that you do enjoy.

Jux · 02/11/2009 10:43

LOL - whenever MIL really wanted to put me down she'd say something about my 'little job' - teaching autistic children so they could actually hold their own in mainstream school and interact with their families and make friends and live almost normally didn't seem that little to me. Of course, the hours were little...

nostrila · 02/11/2009 10:44

KittyFisher, I think you're putting words in my mouth. The point I was making is that when I was a SAHM my 'job' wasn't running around after my husband/kids doing housework for several hours a day in order to 'prove' to my wage earning DH that I was pulling my weight.

If my DH didn't have a wife and was working he would have had to have done all his own housework. So I didn't see the need to be a skivvy for him.

Some people like cleaning, some people pay cleaners- that's up to them. But I do not think that spending hours a day cleaning your own home is a happy way to live. And I'm shocked that people think that a SAHM should do everything, just because her DH is earning money.

I'm not castigating cleaners at all. And yes, I do work to contribute to the household, look after my kids etc... but I'm not a martyr to it and my DH wouldn't expect me to be.

mumblechum · 02/11/2009 10:55

Sorry but I think if both kids are at school all day you have 30 hours free and you should do the cleaning in that time.

Francasaysrelax · 02/11/2009 11:00

Have a cleaner if you can afford it. Life's too short.

merryberry · 02/11/2009 11:01

yanbu. it will make a grand change in your life. house properly cleaned, all in one go. you get to do other stuff, whatever you want.

KittyFisher1 · 02/11/2009 11:04

Heathen- that's a bit naive. Do you think that people who work as cleaners or otherwise do it 'for fun?'. People work because they need to earn a living. Cleaning is part and parcel of running a home (the job of a SAHM). It's something that needs to be done.
Solid-I didn't say that all the work at home should go unnoticed. Not at all. It should be appreciated in the same way as the person who earns the wage.

Nostrilla-I don't understand this argument at all.
'If my DH didn't have a wife and was working he would have had to have done all his own housework. So I didn't see the need to be a skivvy for him.'

If you didn't have a DH, you would presumably have to find paid employment and do all your own housework too!

If a SAHM has children of school age (and no health problems, etc), I don't see why she shouldn't do all the other housework as she has plenty of time and can easily do it while her DH is at work. If she has preschool children, who are at home with her, the situation is different.

Chandon · 02/11/2009 11:04

I do this.

yes, I have loads of time "off", and do not plan to spend all of it on cleaning.

DH does nothing in the house, so I shop, cook, clean, do the washing up, wash the car, do the garden etc etc etc.

So BULLY for DH, or any DH if they think I should also clean the loos and kitchen floor ! I have given up a lot (job! financial independence!mind and body)to having children and I never signed up to do EVERYTHING in the house, all by myself.

Forget that.

Yes, MN, I am a SAHM with children at school and I have a cleaner. (shocking statement, innit?!)

Am just a bit that you asked your husband permission. I just did it. After all, he spends more on, say, pints than I spend on the cleaner, we each have our little luxuries.

Bonsoir · 02/11/2009 11:04

In the OP's position I wouldn't commit to a weekly cleaner, but rather get in a company for a mega clean from time to time.

SCARYspicemonster · 02/11/2009 11:05

But if your children at at school all day Nostrila, you're not being a mum during those hours are you? Well, no more actively than your WOH partner is a dad/mum.

Bonsoir · 02/11/2009 11:09

Oh I don't agree with that at all. At the moment I am very busy doing school applications for all three children (DSS1, DSS2, DD) - it is a LOT of work and it only happens when I am alone ie children are at school and DP is at work.

Bonsoir · 02/11/2009 11:10

There is lots of parenting that goes on when children aren't physically around, IMO.

Cleaners are a PITA if they come when you are in the house. Much better to get ad hoc professionals in!

sherby · 02/11/2009 11:12

God get a cleaner.

Cleaning is where the moneys at you know

My DM cleans around Cowes on Isle of Wight and loves it. She is constantly being poached by other people for more money, picks and chooses who she wants to work for, gets way more that the prices being spouted on here and works as little or as much as she wants.

BadPoet · 02/11/2009 11:15

Depends. How much is your mortgage?

YANBU to hate cleaning and it sounds like you think you can afford it, but personally I'd have the massive guilts if my children were both at school and I was a SAHM. I'd be forced to make bento boxes for everyone's lunches, or handmake all Christmas gifts or something to justify it.

We have a cleaner for 2 hours a week (not telling you our income!) and we both work part-time but also do a lot of weekends. Now that our youngest is at nursery I think I have the time to clean again and I think we'll see how she's fixed and maybe start winding it down - I might even start FLYing.

nostrila · 02/11/2009 11:17

I did a year of being a SAHM with school age children. My day went like this: up at 6 organise kids/do breakfasts/packed lunches get them off to school.

Return home after 9, tidy/garden/DIY chores do washing, sort out paperwork (bills, trips, appointments etc..), do shopping, plan evening meal.

I'd have lunch and then it would be time to do the school run again and then ferry kids to clubs/friends houses get home, have dinner, help with homework ad infinitum.

I certainly didn't have 30 hours a week of 'free time'!!

In fact I had less free time than when they were all pre-schoolers -at least then I could direct my own time instead of being constantly on the clock!

Morloth · 02/11/2009 11:21

I have a cleaner, I am a SAHM with one DC at school. Yes, I could do it, I absolutely have time to, but I don't want to and can afford to get someone else to do it for me.

DH couldn't give a fuck either way as long as he doesn't have to do it. It is excellent!

Georgimama · 02/11/2009 11:21

I'm really really struggling to understand why so many women on this thread care so much about how the OP spends her time. Some of you seem personally affronted that she should be a SAHM yet doesn't want to spend her time cleaning. Mothering does not equal cleaning.

Blackduck · 02/11/2009 11:22

I am , , and at this thread....

And what's the betting it ends up in the papers....

Georgimama · 02/11/2009 11:24

And I'm even more shocked that some people don't think the OP's household has a good income. £3700 net per month = £44,400 net per annum. That's a lot.

TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 02/11/2009 11:24

"Do you think that people who work as cleaners or otherwise do it 'for fun?'"

No...that's why I wrote the exact opposite of that

Blackduck · 02/11/2009 11:27

Morloth - exactly how my dp feels.....!

Morloth · 02/11/2009 11:29

It is all relative Georgimama.

My sister is a cleaner Heathen she does do it for fun, because she is a crazy person and loves cleaning. Utterly bizarre.

But hey she makes a stack of cash for doing something she rather enjoys so why not. When I am in Sydney she comes over twice a week for $100. She loves it, I hate it we are both happy happy happy.

Swipe left for the next trending thread