Gosh this has all got a bit heated!
FWIW, I don't think most people are taking a hard line 'Thou shalt have a life of drudgery doing housework' approach. I really don't think people are saying the OP ought to do the housework to justify her time at home. They are saying they are a little surprised, that when the family are living on a decent but by no means high income, the OP is so reluctant to carry out some aspects of domestic life. That's all.
Re: Quattro's posts. I certainly don't think she is saying'Oh woe is me, my job is so tough, therefore someone at home should be having it tough too!' I've read enough of Quattro's posts on this and other threads to pick up that her attitiude is pretty similar to mine - ie: she has a high level career she finds stimulating and enjoyable, but that like with ANYTHING, there are bits that are tedious, hard graft, and not what you might choose to be doing at that particular moment. That's all.
To look at it another way - when our children moan at having to tidy their bedroom, or load the dishwasher, do we all turn around and say 'Of course you don't have to do that darling if you don't want to - we'll pay a cleaner to do it!'? Of course we don't - because we recognise that having to do things that we don't always feel like is part of life, and that learning to stick to a task and get it done rather than whinging is excellent preparation for life. I don't see why adulthood is fundamentally different - no one gives you a magic passport to a life spent doing exactly as you please when you turn 18!
Yes, the OP says has husband loves his job, and wouldn't want to cut his hours. Well, I love my job and don't want to cut my hours. But like I said, there are still some bits that aren't enjoyable, and are hard graft. I bet that's the reality with her DH too. These things aren't black and white - love it 100% or hate it 100%. Life is a little more complex.
At the end of the day, I couldn't give a stuff if the OP gets a cleaner or doesn't, but as I said in my first post, she needs to get the agreement of her DH, because ultimately, HE is sole earner, and they aren't living on megabucks, and he may have strong feelings about spending the money on other things, given that the OP has plenty of time to do housework, she just doesn't want to.
I also think that the argument about needing to stay home to support his career is a bit disingenuous. With the kids at school, even a little part time fitting around school hours job would easily bring in well over £120 a month, and then there would be no issue would there? The family would have a cleaner AND more money left over!