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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

or rather is my DP BU?

50 replies

ChickandDuck · 27/10/2009 07:39

Wanted to see if I am right to be annoyed by this before I have it out with him later.

Every morning DP's alarm goes off (this morning at 6.30am), waking everyone (DS 3.7yo, DS2 8 mo amd the cat) but he stays in bed another half hour whilst I have to get up to sort kids/feed cat. This isn't fair surely? Especially as I'm up at 3am feeding DS2.

He says he needs it to go off earlier than he needs to be up, to break him into actually getting up (he just keeps hitting snooze until it is actually time to get up)

He's being a bit wet surely? You just set your alarm, and get up, right?

OP posts:
MmeGoblindt · 27/10/2009 07:41

Would the DSs sleep longer if the alarm did not go off? How long would they normally sleep?

FlamingoBingo · 27/10/2009 07:42

YANBU

He is being wet not getting up when it goes off, and it is unneccessary to have such a noisy alarm!

DH has his phone under his pillow to wake him up. Myself and the two DDs in our room don't even notice.

Original poster
ChickandDuck · 27/10/2009 07:44

Yes, I'd say 9 times out of 10 they'd sleep longer. If left undisturbed they would sleep till 7.30/8am.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChickandDuck · 27/10/2009 07:46

Most of the time he doesn't hear it until I hit him to say switch it off. He's crap in the morning.

OP posts:
monkeypinkmonkey · 27/10/2009 07:46

Bring them all into bed let them jump on the bed, cat lick his face etc. Make this a habit for school hols then he will surely get up sharp quick!

diddl · 27/10/2009 07:47

If no one else needs to get up at 6.30, and he doesn´t bother, what´s the point?

5 or 10 mins to give yourself time to stretch & be awake is enough surely?

That´s if you really can´just get up when you hear the alarm.

sunnydelight · 27/10/2009 07:49

So he's setting his alarm to wake you and the kids so you can get up and do everthing, meanwhile he has a snooze and presumably by the time he appears it's all done? And you have to ask if you're being unreasonable? I would kick him out of bed (literally) in the morning the second it goes off.

fernie3 · 27/10/2009 07:51

I think thats very unreasonable especially if you are up in the night as well!. reset his alarm for ten to seven OR just bring all the kids in to the bedroom then roll over and pretend to sleep - see how long it takes him to get up then.

bigchris · 27/10/2009 07:53

yanbu
jeez, that's so self centred!

Original poster
ChickandDuck · 27/10/2009 07:56

Honestly he is crap. monkeypinkmonkey - this morning cat was first in the bed, followed by DS1, DP doesn't even flinch.

OP posts:
Original poster
ChickandDuck · 27/10/2009 07:59

sunnydelight - he wouldn't do anything in the morning anyway. I don't mind that though, I'm SAHM, and he goes out to work.

OP posts:
MmeGoblindt · 27/10/2009 08:02

That is seriously not on. He wakes everyone up so that he can snooze for half an hour?

Selfish git.

Show him this thread.

OI, MRCHICK
Stop being a selfish git and let your DP, your DC and the cat sleep longer in the morning.

Pheebe · 27/10/2009 08:03

I can see both sides of this one. He definitely isn't being 'wet' needing time to wake up before getting out of bed. If your DP needs half an hour to wake up then thats his business and no one else's and you should be more understanding and accepting of that. Very unkind to be so judgemental. We should accept our partners for who they are warts and all as we expect them to accept us. I'm the same, I find it really hard to wake up and need 20 mins or so before I feel ready to get up otherwise I have a headache and generally feel crap all day.

However, using an alarm clock and waking everyone else up is VERY inconsiderate. Are the kids all in your room? If so, suggest DP sleeps in another room on work days or you consider moving the lids to their own rooms. Can he turn the volume down? Can he put it (or a phone) under his pillow?

gorionine · 27/10/2009 08:03

I am the one hitting the snooze button here. For my defence I am still the first one up in the morning.

Original poster
ChickandDuck · 27/10/2009 08:04

Haha - thanks MmeGoblindt !

See told you Mr Chick!!

OP posts:
Original poster
ChickandDuck · 27/10/2009 08:06

Oh no Pheebe just quashed that idea!

They're not in the same room. He uses his phone alarm, but it's really loud (he sleeps through anything so it needs to be).

OP posts:
warthog · 27/10/2009 08:10

well i'd keep a cup of water next to the bed. tomorrow morning pour it on him.

repeat every morning until he works out a different solution.

i do understand that it takes him time to get up. but the way it is now is NO GOOD.

MmeGoblindt · 27/10/2009 08:12

DH used to have his phone under his pillow, set to vibrate not to ring.

NO WAY would I put up with him waking the whole house, and I do understand the needing half an hour to wake up as I am similar.

sockmonkey · 27/10/2009 08:16

ChickandDuck... have you stolen my hubby?
DH does this too. Except he doesn't even get out of bed to turn the alarm off. I have to.

He then expects me to poke him 15 mins later and then again 15 mins after that... If I don't then it's my fault that he sleeps in

I can't blame the alarm for waking the children up though,as sometimes they are up before it goes off.

diddl · 27/10/2009 08:33

Well, I agree with Pheebe.

I guess if he needs half an hour to wake up, he does.

But an alarm that wakes the whole house??

Firawla · 27/10/2009 08:40

yanbu that is very unfair of him. i think really if he puts alarm half an hour earlier than he gets up, he will have to adjust the alarm time and put it half hour later. if it doesnt wake him anyway it doesnt make a difference to him having it earlier, he is just being stupid! even if he apparently needs this half hr snooze after alarm i think as one person, inconveniencing the whole rest of the household is not on, he will have to learn to do without it.

Original poster
ChickandDuck · 27/10/2009 08:53

I would rather have half hour to 'wake up' too...but unfortunately I don't have a choice, the children don't appear to have a snooze button!

OP posts:
diddl · 27/10/2009 08:55

You´re right *ChickandDuck"

I´ve pointed all manner of remotes at them and none work!

MmeGoblindt · 27/10/2009 09:18

Diddl
You need one of these

violethill · 27/10/2009 09:44

Just get him to turn the volume down. It's daft to have an alarm that wakes everyone else in the house, and totally unecessary.
But it's entirely reasonable if he wants some 'snooze' time - people function in different ways. On work days I set my alarm for 6.15, make a coffee and sit in bed for about 20 minutes - it's my routine, what I need to feel properly awake and ready for the working day.

So he is not BU in wanting snooze time, but you need to just sort a simple solution to this.