or rather is my DP BU?

[ChickandDuck]

Wanted to see if I am right to be annoyed by this before I have it out with him later.

Every morning DP's alarm goes off (this morning at 6.30am), waking everyone (DS 3.7yo, DS2 8 mo amd the cat) but he stays in bed another half hour whilst I have to get up to sort kids/feed cat. This isn't fair surely? Especially as I'm up at 3am feeding DS2.

He says he needs it to go off earlier than he needs to be up, to break him into actually getting up (he just keeps hitting snooze until it is actually time to get up)

He's being a bit wet surely? You just set your alarm, and get up, right?

DH chucked my last alarm clock out of the bedroom window when I kept doing what your dh does .

I now keep it under my pillow so I hear it but it doesn't wake him.

I couldn't get out of bed immediately that the alarm went off, I need a good 5 or 10 mins to come round in the morning.

I need snooze time. I set my alarm for 15 minutes earlier than I get up. DH has pointed this out (), but he doesn't have to get up, and it doesn't disturb the children.

Thanks for that MmeGoblindt

YANBU - have you considered Controlled Waking or the No Cry Waking Up Solution (depending on your philosophy)? Similar principles apply

at Oricella.

Your dh is being a pain in the butt - his need to come round gently shouldn't mean everyone else has to wake up half an hour early. ESPECIALLY if he does sod-all for anyone else before he leaves the house.

Alarm under the pillow or phone set to vibrate sound like good compromises. Or if he is really intransigent, I'd just alter his alarm.

I've discovered DS DOES have a snooze button, unfortunatly to access it I have to go into his room. It consists of a nutragrain bar, carton of Orange juice and mummy turning Cbeebies on.

Yep I'm a bad mum

It would drive me up the wall if DH did this to me btw! how inconsiderate

I would change the settings on his alarm clock when getting up for that 3am feed.

I have made him put his phone under his pillow before (vibrate just wouldn't stir him) but it takes him ages to hear and then find it and it gets louder and louder .

I understand that some people need a bit of snooze time. I am one of these people, unfortuatley I just have to get on with it! Maybe thats what makes it even more irritating for me. You just set your alarm to enable you to awaken in the easiest way for you, have a little bit of a 'lay in' whilst I am forced to get out of bed immediatley because YOUR alarm has woken the DC (and cat, lets not forget the cat)

Is this part of a wider attitude problem ie he thinks that because he is the income earner, he is the important person in the house?

you might be on to something there SGB - he did say when this was mentioned briefly this morning something along the lines of 'I need to get up like that becuase I need to go to work because we need to be fed'

And I need to be kept happy else I won't be cooking for you adn you won't be fed, was my reply (in my head)

Why should he get the choice of snoozing for 30 mins though when the op doesn't? Do his needs matter more than hers? Once you have children then luxuries like that go out the window imo and he should take some responsibilty for himself and his children. The op is already up in the night feeding her baby so why can't he get up and let her lay in instead?

yanbu.

it's complete bollocks, anyway.

if he's given the option of sleepign for another half hour, he won't be using that half hour to wake up slowly, he will be asleep.

I know that this is the case, because i've done it myself.
"oh, i'll set the alarm a bit earlier then press snooze to wake up gently."
no! what actually happens is i press snooze then immediately go back into a deep sleep and feel just as sleepy and tired when the alarm goes off again!

you need to stop him doing it.
full stop.
if needs be, set the alarm to 10 minutes before he needs to get up then persuade him that he's already hit snooze 2ce.
he'll believe you because he's been fast asleep.

Oh, I like thedevil's approach!

Well my DH sleeps through everything. As such I am the human alarm clock. (or rather DS is). If DH has to be up earlier than me (rare) I have to wake him up.

I hate it, I hate him in the mornings, but it's how he is, basically a morning twat, I can't change it

YANBU - i second the idea of a glass of water instead of the alarm

kat - I feel your pain. My DP can be really horrid in the morning. I might just suggests he gets himself a 1 bed flat and stays there in the week

I have the same problem chick. It drives me wild! But he really struggles to get up in the morning and he insists he needs the 'lie-in' that the snooze gives him.

See I am a morning twat too - but since the arrival of DS I rarely get the luxury of a lie-in or gradual awakening.

See halia - you can't be that much of a morning twat if you actually understand that after children you don't get to indulge your twatness...

I'm really not capable of coping with much in the mornings but I don't insist on making everyone else suffer just so I get my own way (although I may be just a teeny weeny bit short-tempered...).

Couldn't he go and stay in a hotel during the week?

Oh dear, I'm exactly the same. I have to ease myself into wakefulness, otherwise I'll hit the off button on an alarm in my sleep and not wake up at all.

Nope, I need half an hour.YABU

Oh My DH is EXACTLY the same. EXACTLY.
Woke us all up (me and 2 DCs) and then went back to sleep immediately leaving me to poke him awake again every 10 mins till he eventually got up.
Caused many arguments.
Until one day he was chatting to someone about this problem. The other person has a deaf partner and told DH to buy an alarm clock for deaf people.
Its fantastic. You put it under your pillow and it feels like an earthquake going on under your head when it goes off.
It usally wakes me up as well as DH still, but I am v light sleeper (its a Mum thing!) but no longer wakes DCs up EVER!

allaboutme- I am googling right now! Hopefully there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Thank you