and disloyal to womankind to NOT find this offensive?

[Astrid28]

I am now a SAHM. DH runs his own company and it got to the point where I could give up work if I wanted to. I wanted to, so here I am.

DH transfers money for the food shopping into my account and I also use the joint account for other things, like birthday presents, DD's lessons/pre-school clothes shopping etc.

A friend of mine has described me on several occasions as being an old fashioned housewife.

I laughed and said I suppose I am! She then went on to say that I shouldn't be pleased with the situation. Don't I find my life boring, and what about my life when my kids grow up and leave home - what then?

I'm still very happy with my situation, but should I be?? Am I 'letting the side' down?

You don't have to pay tax to contribute to society, though - paying tax is only one form of contribution.

And you don't have to contribute to your family financially in order for your family to feel your contribution. It can be economically far more productive for adults to specialise eg one adult working can earn more than both adults working combined in many, many couples.

of course it is risblie to assert parenting has some sort of moral or woolly edge over paid employment.nope it doesnt

My mother and grandmother both had the choice of whether to work or not BTW.

Paid employment is a sort of religion for you, isn't it, scottish mummy? A belief system...

It's not morally superior, it's natural and essential. We could have chosen a very different way to order society and exchange of necessary (and, as per our economy, mostly unnecessary) goods, but it is in our nature to bring up our children.

absolutely not i eschew any religious affiliation

next assumption if you must

Not an assumption, a conclusion drawn from your evangelising on this thread and others .

Why work in paid employment/to the maximum of your earning capacity if you have more than enough money to live on already but are short of time for caring for your family?

I think the horror with which some posters talk of paid employment is a reflection of how tedious/unproductive/useless their own working lives must be, or must have been.

If you have such a jaundiced view of paid employment, perhaps you were in the wrong job!

passive aggressive winking doesn't diminish assumptions you make

Do you know the difference between an assumption and a conclusion?

Violethill, I think if you are in the right job, you are a lucky lucky lucky person. there are too few jobs out there that people actually want, and way to many people who want them, and too many jobs that are tedious and boring, and too many mortgages/rents to pay and fridges to fill...

"You don't have to pay tax to contribute to society, though - paying tax is only one form of contribution."

Although there are people making a positive (non-monetary) contribution to society, in the form of caring for dependent relatives, manning soup kitchens or raising funds for charities or whatever - there are equally people who do nothing or next to nothing whilst not in paid employment.

Lucky them. You are obviously from a much more enlightened place than me. I think you will find most women in earlier generations did not have a choice.
Burning bras was meant with irony btw.

I absolutely agree with Violethill there.

And most women in the ("developing") world would kill to have our choices.

And why are you all arguing which is better - to stay at home or to do paid work? Vive la difference.

kneedeep - I think luck plays a part, but knowing yourself, your strengths, temperament etc, and matching that to the job, plus getting good qualifications and some good old hard work count for more!

I'm from Kent

I think women have worked for generations. I think the 'choice' to be a SAHM was not an option for many of them because of financial considerations.

Here here, kneedeep.

I agree violethill, if you come from a family that supports your education and helps you find your way. How many people do? do we act as if they don't exist?

I do think financial dependency is an odd choice however

Financial dependency is generally a by-product of a positive choice to care for children.

ninah, I would have agreed with you 10 years ago. But my DH earns most of the dosh in our house, and I do most of the child care, and it's a team, and I trust him not to fuck me over financially.

kneedeep - I get the impression most MNers care very much about their children's education. And I have yet to meet anyone in RL who says 'Bugger education for my daughters. She can do some dead end job until she meets a bloke and gets pregnant'. Every parent I know has aspirations for their children.

I am not denying that some parents don't. And that makes it harder. But that doesn't negate the point I made - that there's a lot more to finding interesting work than just luck.

You are being pedantic now. Of course women have worked for years. But they did not have positions of power, they tended to work for a lot less money - and still do. My Mum was a stay at home mum because childcare was too expensive and once I went to school she had to work to help with household finances. Most of us work because we have to pay bills etc, but the choice comes in what education and employment we can choose.