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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH can't understand why I am annoyed with him....

34 replies

ShinyAndNew · 25/10/2009 21:14

He got up and made the dd's breakfast this morning. I got up shortly.

He then went and did the shopping, while I washed up/tidied and entertained dd2.

He decided not to have dinner at dinner time, because there was football on so could I do it later. For 6pm. He turned up at 7:30 after texting my friend to tell her he would be late

He went to the pub to watch footy.

Now he is too tired to do the washing up. My niece is coming tomorrow, so there will be no way I can do it tommorrow. I will have to it tonight, after cooking dinner and having the dds most of the day, while he has been at pub

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 25/10/2009 21:18

Well what would you prefer he did?

Original poster

ShinyAndNew · 25/10/2009 21:21

I would prefer he did the washing up after I have already done it all today and cooked dinner on demand.

OP posts:

Ivykaty44 · 25/10/2009 21:23

then tell him to stop being a woooose and get on with the job.

it really doesn#t matter that he doesn't understand - just tell him straight do washing up or no plates for food no food for you matey juimwosepants

GypsyMoth · 25/10/2009 21:26

Or do it together?

Original poster

ShinyAndNew · 25/10/2009 21:29

The kitchen isn't big enough Cherub. It's tiny as is the sink.

All he has done since he got back is eat and whinge. He is currently shouting and swearing at me because I did not jump up when he commanded to clean some spilt ice cream. Apparently I am thick or summit

Yes darling and you sound most intelligent and mature.

OP posts:

clam · 25/10/2009 21:33

If he's "commanding" you to clean up some spilt ice cream, shouting, swearing and calling you "thick or summat" then I think you have a bigger problem than the washing up, I'm afraid.

GypsyMoth · 25/10/2009 21:33

Oh dear, did his team lose??

Shouting and swearing at you is not acceptable. Is this usual for him? That's not good

Original poster

ShinyAndNew · 25/10/2009 21:36

It's usual for him after a drink. Even one can makes him childish, agressive and unreasonable.

I just ignore the swearing. It only makes him look pathetic and childish. Whats bothering me is the....
"The ice cream is spilled"
"The kids are up out of bed"
"The kids need cleaning"

While he just lays on there on his fat arse because he is tired.

OP posts:

cheeseandeyeballsarnie · 25/10/2009 21:39

id go to bed.hes being an idiot-not about the dishes,just an idiot.

Original poster

ShinyAndNew · 25/10/2009 21:43

I can't I have neice coming tomorrow so the ashing up needs doing. And the tidying again.

I don't mind him going to the pub, but I do mind him coming back in a state where he is incapable of helping with anything. And will just lay there while telling me what needs doing.

OP posts:

cheeseandeyeballsarnie · 25/10/2009 21:52

does he do it often?is it a regular thing?

fandango75 · 25/10/2009 21:54

he sounds gross

RoseBlossoms · 25/10/2009 22:02

Go to bed and get up 30 mins earlier so you can do the dishes in peace?

Is it really worth getting so worked up over? He sounds like a drunken twat.

So glad DH comes in from pub and promptly falls asleep on sofa! Thus leaving me in peace!

clam · 25/10/2009 22:04

RoseBlossoms, I would say that being spoken to like that is most certainly worth getting worked up over. Sounds like he has no respect for her.
And why the Hell should she get up half an hour earlier to do something that he should have done?

Original poster

ShinyAndNew · 25/10/2009 22:13

No he doesn't do it often. But thats not the point. I wouldn't mind him going to bed. It's the laying there with his feet up watching me running around and doing everything that riles me.

OP posts:

choosyfloosy · 25/10/2009 22:17

'Yeah. D'you know what? If you were my boss I would walk out of this job if I were spoken to like that. You're not my boss, this is my home, and I will not be spoken to like this. If anything about this place [sweeping gesture] is not to your liking, sort it yourself. I'm going to have a bath/to bed.'

Don't sit there stewing and venting silently to us. Do whatever you want. You are at home.

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 25/10/2009 22:20

Oh FFS.. just wash up, then tell him he's a useless slacker.

clam · 25/10/2009 22:23

Which he won't give a toss about, and he'll have got away with it and his behaviour will continue.

Fine, but I couldn't live like that.

3littlefrogs · 25/10/2009 22:24

He needs to GROW UP.

IMoveTheStarsForNoOne · 25/10/2009 22:28

as long as you're not being a martyr and doing all the jobs and not explaining to him that he's expected to do his share.

GhoulishFan · 25/10/2009 22:31

Tell him to not speak to you like that and if he doesn't want to wash up to help the family, that's fine - you won't want to cook for him, clean for him, have sex with him.... ANYTHING until further notice

and STICK TO IT

Original poster

ShinyAndNew · 25/10/2009 22:32

He is up now and on his way to the shop for me. After much moaning.

OP posts:

Mummee · 25/10/2009 22:38

IMHO we shouldn't let our husbands get away with such bad behaiviour. Our children grow up thinking it's acceptable behaviour.

I think you need to stand your ground if you truly believe he is being unfair.

PS why is he texting your friend and not you. Where is the courtesy in that?

cheeseandeyeballsarnie · 25/10/2009 22:41

tbh .if its a one off.yes hes being a twat but id just wash up and wait till hes sober,tell him hes a twat and never to speak to you like that again.end of.

Mummee · 25/10/2009 22:52

Cheese apparently 'it's' usual for him after a drink. If I read right.

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