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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect friends to get up when their DD does ?

31 replies

CMOTdibbler · 25/10/2009 09:51

We have friends that either stay with us, or we stay at theirs once a month or so.
Virtually always, they do not appear until after one of us has got up when our DS and their DD (once one of them hears the other they are both awake), gone downstairs, given them breakfast etc.

This weekend was worse than ever - yesterday the children surfaced at nearly 8 (they are both 3), I got up, followed by DH a bit later, and it wasn't for another hour and a half that friends surfaced 'we heard that DD was up and decided to have a lie in'. This morning it was a full hour - and no apology etc.

They never offer to get up with the children in return either.

AIBU to be annoyed by this ?

OP posts:
pointyhat · 25/10/2009 09:53

Yes, I'd be annoyed. I wouldn't have any more stay overs with them. Lazy buggers.

FlamingoBingo · 25/10/2009 09:54

YANBU - taking advantage of you! It would be another matter if you both agreed to take turns having lie-ins and caring for the children.

SlartyBartFast · 25/10/2009 09:54

cant you steer their dc's in the direction of their parents bedroom?
or provide a small drum?

blametheparents · 25/10/2009 09:54

YANBU

And the clocks went back last night so I guess you were up even earlier

llaregguBOO · 25/10/2009 09:54

Oh I wish my 3 year old got up around 8am! It is more like 6am here.

But YANBU.

Original poster
CMOTdibbler · 25/10/2009 10:00

It was 7.40 in yesterdays time when the DCs got up - but I had the small child music band from that time onwards. I did encourage them to make lots of noise, esp as they hadn't bought bedmats with them, and their DD isn't as reliable at night as they had said. So I had a sodden travel cot, duvet etc to deal with.

They've gone now..

OP posts:
SlartyBartFast · 25/10/2009 10:04

phew,

when you stay at theirs can you mirror their bheaviour?
stay in bed, lock the door and let them entertain all children?

cornsilk · 25/10/2009 10:07

cheeky feckers. I would send the child upstairs to wake one of the parents.

Mamazonabroomstick · 25/10/2009 10:09

make sure the next few are at theirs and then have a lay in yourselves.

pointyhat · 25/10/2009 10:11

Why do you do this staying over thing? Sounds rubbish

SerendipitousHarlot · 25/10/2009 10:13

Ooh o, YANBU at all

That would really annoy me. Yu should take turns having a lie in depending on who's house you're all staying at.

slimeoncrazydemon · 25/10/2009 10:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
CMOTdibbler · 25/10/2009 10:22

They are good friends, and the men play a game together every month (there is a group of them, but the others never host the weekend). My DS and their DD are only children, and love each other a lot and especially having bath together etc. They live 2.5 hours away, so they don't come unless staying over

Will be sending the DD into wake them up next time

OP posts:
6feetundertheGroundhogs · 25/10/2009 10:24

They are using you and DH as baby sitters... Ah we'll have a lie in, let them get up...

OK so it IS your house, but surely one of them would get up to give you a hand a breakfast, at LEAST?.

That's the sort of thing that would REALLY grate on my nerves, if not immediately, certainly by now.

Perhaps you ought to have a convo with the mother?

SorciereAnna · 25/10/2009 10:26

We have never got up for our children - why on earth should we? I think you are being ridiculous. Leave everyone's children to entertain themselves and enjoy your lie in!

SerendipitousHarlot · 25/10/2009 10:28

LOL SorciereAnna

curiositykilled · 25/10/2009 10:30

I'm going to go against the grain and say YABU.

Why didn't you just knock on their door in the morning with their dd in tow saying "Hi, don't know if you've heard - your dd's up, she's wet the bed and she's asking for breakfast?" If you are so bothered by it?

I have to say I wouldn't have minded a guest in my house having a lie in. It's not like they'd be able to do much in your house anyway is it? They couldn't just help themselves to use of the washing machine or the food for breakfast!

I'd rather get on with my housework and making the breakfast without feeling like I was neglecting the guests anyway so I'd be pretty glad for the break in the morning.

Feeding an extra child when you were feeding your child anyway is hardly the end of the world and if you have a 3 year old to sleep over you could expect they might have an accident - bit of a PITA to strip another child's bed but hardly the end of the world. You could have provided a bed mat if you were very bothered about the travel cot.

SerendipitousHarlot · 25/10/2009 10:32

It's the principle though, curiosity, surely?

If they had done it a couple of times and then got up and apologised, agreed to take turns or whatever, that's different.

But it's taken for granted that OP will get up and deal with the dc every time they stay - that's the part that would piss me off.

SorciereAnna · 25/10/2009 10:34

Why oh why would children need an adult to get up and "deal" with them in the morning? Just let them play!

curiositykilled · 25/10/2009 10:40

I just don't know what you'd expect a guest to do in your house? Get up first and use the washing machine and help themselves to breakfast? They only stayed in bed for an hour and a half, it's not like they languished all day and let the OP look after the dd and hour and a half is not much longer than just getting up and getting breakfast really. The friends couldn't have just helped themselves to food from the OP's house and if they got up the OP would have just had to make breakfast for them as well as the DD.

The OP was already up, making breakfast with her child so they might as well stay in bed, they'd only get in my way if I was the OP in this situation. I'd quite like the hour and a half to clean up, hoover, put the washing on e.t.c. and I'd feel glad they were comfortable enough to stay in bed. I'd leave them some breakfast out for when they got up. As far as I'm concerned them having a lie in would give me less work and less stress.

curiositykilled · 25/10/2009 10:41

sorry their DS! Should learn to read!

pooexplosions · 25/10/2009 11:01

Anna, they might need a nappy change, breakfast, some kind of supervision so they don't wreck the place/kill themselves etc?

Or do you have perfect robot children that toilet and feed themselves from birth?

Hassled · 25/10/2009 11:03

I'b be livid. That really is first class piss-taking.

fizzpops · 25/10/2009 11:03

curiosity - I think it is the fact that the story is the same no matter whose house it is! I could be wrong here... twas a bit ambiguous.

Would piss me off too, although I would be unlikely to be able to relax knowing someone else was having a breakfast battle with two rather than one and would end up getting up anyway.

skidoodle · 25/10/2009 11:21

Key here is that they don't appear to get up in their own house either.

Although I have a certain sympathy with Anna's position.

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