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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be wound up by primary school kids wearing shag bands

156 replies

RattusNorvegicus · 23/10/2009 21:18

I work in a high school and we had Y5 primary school kids visiting for transition today. Lots of them had shag bands on. These have been banned from our school, and I'm sure most of the younger kids don't know what they represent, but it still goes through me to see them being worn.New here, be gentle!

OP posts:
bronze · 24/10/2009 16:37

I still have a load of black ones from my youth (when they had no meaning) or maybe they did and my four children were immaculate conception. What a load of utter tripe!

ImSoNotTelling · 24/10/2009 16:40

I asked DH family recently about these bands as his brothers etc are younger. They had all heard of them. They said they were just a fashion. That yes they were supposed to have meanings but obviously no-one ever did anything.

As for older ones saying things to younger ones, if they are the sort that would then they will anyway, if not then not. I don't think bracelets make a difference. Some males will always be sexual bullies and like to get a reaction/scare people, most won't.

DailyMailNameChanger · 24/10/2009 16:40

bronze, when I had the black ones (around about the Madonna era) they were called shag bands...same as they are now. Which is why I think it is all hysteria. They have been around for what, almost 30years? It is nothing new and intervening generations so far have managed to survive without becoming hussies.

ImSoNotTelling · 24/10/2009 16:41

bronze who is your youth, how old is he and what do you have to do now he has given them to you?

Paolosgirl · 24/10/2009 16:44

No - never had a Relax t-shirt. They were for the kids with bubble perms and slip-on shoes, if you remember?

So - bunnies and it's link to prostitution is not OK. Lacey underwear is not OK because it's uncomfortable. Shag bracelets for children and what they represent are OK. Ermmm...

Oh - and no need to say thanks btw.

DailyMailNameChanger · 24/10/2009 16:49

They don't represent anything, they are a kids game like spin the bottle, truth or dare or anything else. A kids game that women felt the need to get their knicers in a twist over. It is totally over the top.

Paolosgirl · 24/10/2009 16:52

Yes - they represent sex. I thought everyone knew that?

Have just checked knickers btw, and can report no twisting.

bronze · 24/10/2009 16:52

ISNT (ooh

DailyMailNameChanger · 24/10/2009 16:55

No, they do not represent sex, they are a little rubber bracelet. People choose to associate them with a childs game using sex words, same as other childrens games.

Oh no - don't worry about your knickers I have another one for you....

How about that terrible rhyme thing kids do about sitting in trees kissing and having babies

Quick everyone man the escape hatches the world is coming to an end

[hide]

Paolosgirl · 24/10/2009 17:07

Shag bands, DMNC. The clue's in the name..

And what on earth does the rest of your post mean!

lovelifetoday · 24/10/2009 17:10

Hi

The Daily Mail did an article on this see link below
www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1215712/Thousands-young-children-buying-coloured-wr istbands-week-But-parents-idea-true-disturbing-meaning-.html

MillyR · 24/10/2009 17:27

I can't help wondering if this thread is a fishing for another DM article thread. Apologies to the OP if you are genuine.

On a lot of these threads I am arguing on the other side. I hate Nuts magazine and Playboy pencil cases. I do not like the commercialisation of sexuality, and I do not like it sold to children.

But this is not because I dislike the idea of secondary school children developing a sexuality or even of them becoming promiscuous when they enter adulthood. I just think that commercial images of sex stop young people developing their own sexual identity.

Shag bands cost a few pence; most of the ones sold have no sexual packaging. To most children they are simply meaningless bands, and to others they have a sexual act identified with them. They are no more of a commercial product than marbles. I doubt there is a Hugh Hefner of shag bands, and they don't promote cosmetic surgery, fake orgasms, fake lesbians, uncomfortable underwear etc. Nobody is marketing a certain type of sex with them. They just mean everyday things like hug, kiss, blowjob, but only to some older, secondary school children who do not take it seriously.

There is a huge difference between objecting to children being dressed up by adults as adults or children being exposed to commercialised sexual identities, and older children using a pocket money price toy to talk about ordinary sexual acts. They could just as easily do it with different colour drinks tabs on a necklace, or nail varnish, or hairband colour.

If older children said an orange hairband meant blowjob, would you ban primary school children from wearing orange hairbands?

There is a big difference between objecting to the promotion of what is essentially pornography to teenagers, and just being a prude who objects to teenagers expressing any kind of sexuality or even having any kind of sexuality.

CherylVole · 24/10/2009 17:27

you are nuts

lovelifetoday · 24/10/2009 17:35

Sorry new to Mumsnet didn't realise that Daily Mail had lots of links. I did truly read this in the paper and as people were asking offered the link.

Will know for next time

MillyR · 24/10/2009 17:39

Lovelifetoday, I think maybe you are apologising because of what I said. I was not criticising you for posting the link; people did want to see a link.

I was suggesting that the original poster might have started this thread so that the Daily Mail could write an article about what Mumsnetters think of shagbands. I wasn't aiming that at you.

ImSoNotTelling · 24/10/2009 17:42

lovelife it wasn't you and your link that millyr meant, I'm sure.

MN has had problems lately with people starting threads on inflammatory or sensitive issues and then a couple of days later articles appear in the press which are the threads on MN almost word for word. ie journalists start threads and then use the replys for a quick easy article.

The DM also has a "this week on mumsnet" section every week saying what has been talked about and quoting people - but that is a slightly different thing.

ImSoNotTelling · 24/10/2009 17:43

x-post sorry milly

lovelifetoday · 24/10/2009 17:44

Hi MillyR

  • See said I was new!!!!! My mum and dad knew about this before me and rang me up to get paper and read it. I must admit I had no idea what them meant but luckily we've not progressed past the animal plastic bands - please don't tell me they mean anything.
MoreCrackThanHarlem · 24/10/2009 17:47

MillyR, this thread was about primary age children. And ime the children at primary age that are wearing them do know their connotations- they are called shag bands ffs.
It is definitely a problem using pocket money priced items to play a game that involves talking about sexual acts. I do not want my dd discussing blow jobs or anything else, regardless of the normality of the act.

The whole thing turns my stomach.

Emprexia · 24/10/2009 17:50

They're just a fashion accessory, i still wear them and anyone still using the 'shag tag' meanings ought to be given a slap and told to stop being ridiculous.

Its only because people perpetuate the idiocy that they continue to have this stupid, childish rumour surrounding them.

The OP needs to grow up.

MillyR · 24/10/2009 18:10

Morecrackthanharlem, you keep making the same point, but there isn't anybody on this thread who has said they know any 8 year olds who are using them to talk about blow jobs. As the bands have been around for years, wouldn't there be someone around who would have experience of primary school children talking about it?

Perhaps we need some primary school teachers on here to tell us about the prevalence of blow job games in their year 3 and 4 children.

feralgirl · 24/10/2009 19:04

Imsonottelling; isn't there a hardcore minority of teen boys everywhere who go in for sexual intimidation? It was the same 15-20 years ago when I was a teenager and I don't think that much has changed. But yes, we do have a group of KS4 boys with a particularly nasty attitude towards women at my school.

I think that shag bands (and playboy logos and lots of other things) all contribute to the problem which is reason enough in itself for me to take issue with them. I'm not saying ban them. I don't even mind that my secondary students wear them outside of school but I certainly don't think that in school is the place to advertise your sexual availability.

I wouldn't let my primary age child wear one simply because of what they mean to older kids.

ShinyAndNew · 24/10/2009 19:07

Dd1's friend keeps giving her them. She just thinks they are coloured bands. As far as I am concerned they are just coloured bands.

ImSoNotTelling · 24/10/2009 19:26

feral this is the sort of behaviour I am thinking of, which I do not think is anything to do with plastic bracelets.

Boys who are like this, will be like this, bracelets or not.

ImSoNotTelling · 24/10/2009 19:59

Sorry that link is really depressing actually, please no-one read it!

I suppose my point is that these plastic bracelets don't mean anything, and for people who want to send signals about behaviour there will always be a way to do that, and for boys and men who want to sexually bully they will always do it as well. the bracelets are a symptom not a cause. For most children and young people they will be at best meaningless, and at worst a bit of a giggle.

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