To not want to lend anybody my books?

[MorrisZapp]

I'm totally open to polite chiding on this.

I have 3 large bookcases full of my lovely, treasured, lifetime book collection. I also have an ever-growing, ever-changing charity pile of books that I always invite visitors to take what they want from.

But so many people seem to think that other people's book collections are basically libraries, including asking for advice -'what have you got that I'd like' etc etc.

I admit I am a total arse about books. They aren't just literature to me, they are objects of beauty and pride. I keep them scrupulously (sp) clean and totally free of crumbs, dog ears and (AAAARGH) broken spines - how can anybody break a book's spine?

Anyhoo the main reason I don't like lending them out is that people generally don't give them back - this has been my lifelong experience. I know people aren't 'stealing' them, they just forget don't they.

But I don't want to give my books away. I don't want to have to ask for them back, and I don't want them to be dog eared and fat through misuse.

I know I'm being uptight and arsey, but AIBU?

you sound like my dp, i broke the spine of one of his books once and had to buy him a new one

in fact, i have been known to buy someone books because they want to borrow mine.

yanbu. I rarely lend books that I mind about seeing again.

I lend all over the place but never, ever, borrow as I know I will either lose it, forget to give it back or spill water all over it. In fact DH said he fell in love with me when I gave him a new book back for one I'd borrowed 'cos I had spilt water all over the one he'd lent me (weird reason I agree).

Can you just clarify what a broken spine is? Is it on a paperback where the spine creases because you've opened it too far? Or is it a hardback when the spine is actually.. well.. broken?

They are just books, right? I love books - we had a van full when we moved house, and there are piles everywhere but they are there to be read and enjoyed. I have no problems lending them, I would obviously prefer they came back, but if not they're replaceable. I see the physical book as a vehicle for the words and ideas it contains, not an end in itself.

YANBU! I have reluctantly lent books before and they've come back knackered; how people think it's acceptable to bring back a once-pristine book looking like something a charity shop might reject is beyond me.

The thought of breaking a book's spine brings tears to my eyes; it's just not right, is it? My DP is not allowed to read my books as he is a spine-breaker. I once accidentally dropped a favourite book and it bent one of the corners of the cover up and it's never been the same to me since.

I mainly get books from the library nowadays to save money - and because I read so many - but I still get upset over their knackered spines (hypocritical, seeing as I'm adding to the problem).

Whew, I feel good admitting to my lunacy right-thinking about books. So glad to know I'm not alone!

PS Plantsitter - a broken spine is one with creases in it. Defiling the pristine casing of a magical world, that is.

Ooh i love the feel and sound of breaking the spine on a brand new book

i actually shuddered reading your post, roulade

I don't break spines, but I am a page folder and I do read in the bath. I once got back a brand new book (that I hadn't even read yet) all spine broken and scuffed. Never again.

Will loan and borrow to a very small group of trustworthy types.

If I damage or lose a book I have borrowed, I go and buy a replacement without telling the loaner.

I know what you mean! I have a house full of books, some of which I couldn't lend, but some that I loved so much I've ended up with two or three dog-eared copies.

Why not just look solemnly at the would-be loanee, and say, 'You know, I loved this book so much I think it's my duty to the author to persuade you to buy a copy!' Or point out that even if they take it out of the library, the writer gets 5.98p per lend. Which is something...

by per lend, I of course mean, per loan. Before the Grammar Police rock up.

I am a spine breaker and a page folder and all the rest of it. But I never lend books to friends anymore, because I never see them again if I do. It drives me insane. It is theft, as far as I'm concerned - but apparently it's acceptable theft.

To those who may be concerned - yes, I do want all of those Kate Atkinson books back. Now, please. Yes, I would quite like to reread that Angela Carter book about the twins which I haven't seen for so long I've forgotten what it's called. And I want my bloody Mary Berry cake book back.

i lend my books happily and love to recommend ones to people i think will like them.

but... i always invent another 'friend' who wants it next and gives me an excuse to nag for the book's return. and i always ask how it's going so i know how far through they are and if they're actually reading it.

I have two types of books - the trashy one read suitable for bath reading and page folding type, which I am more than happy to lend out to anyone. And then theres All Other Books. I feel rude asking people for them back, and when I ever work the guts up to do so they're usually damaged in some way The only person I trust to borrow my books is DP because he's as anal as much of a book worm as me

I lent out my entire Tudor Court series and haven't had them back

I do not lend books!!!! Only those I didn't like and do not want back. Everything else stays right here.

However for me a book is a lived thing so I breake spines, fold pages, read (and occasionally drop) in the bath, write on it, underline passages, write the date I read it. That is why I do not give them away, the book represent a period of my life.

For these reason I prefer second hand books to new ones. They even have more life in them.

I love breaking spines (very sopranoish ). That is the first thing I do to a new book. Never understood my best friend at school who would not break it, cover them in cling film and not underline.

Aw how sweet only a bookish person would use a phrase like 'polite chiding'.

YANBU

Another OCD person here - well about books at least. Must look like new even after reading several times, and I dont lend them to anyone if I want them back. I even struggled to write on my OU textbooks, which are meant to be written on/highlighted etc.

May I ask, do those of you that are so precious about books tell those they lend them to not to break spine, fold pages etc? Because really untill today it never occurred to me not to do that (the spine thing not the writing or page folding).

I am sorry now for those I have offended.

Absolutely YANBU - never never never lend books to anyone - not even you mother. People NEVR EVER give them back.

It's a really basic rule of life which applies to books, dvd's and cd's.'

If they want to read it/listen to it/watch it so bad they can get it their blummin' selves like you had to.

'Nuff said.

Loving the term 'polite chiding'

notes it down for future use, although where and when I'm not sure

yanbu - I never lend a book unless happy to give it away.

Damon I tend to put a bookmark in, and make a "passing comment" about what lovely condition the book is in

Erika yes but as for me breaking the spine doesn't mean damaging the book but just doing what naturally should be done to a book I would not understand.
In fact what I hate the most is not to break a spine and reading a book that is not all flat - do you know what I mean?

I swear though from now on I'd be so so careful whenever I borrow a book (not that I do often as I'd be devastated to give it back if I loved it and buying a new one wouldn;t be the same). A

EAs a booklover myself even though I don't understand I do respect.

I'm guilty of breaking spines in. I tend not to do it for the first maybe twenty pages, and then, like you, get fed up with it not being flat