Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think women who use their husband's email address are submissive stepford wives who don't have a life of their own?

371 replies

Picante · 14/10/2009 08:32

Seriously, is it that hard to work out how to get your own email address?

The ones that share are bad enough e.g. '[email protected]' or whatever, but I've seen quite a few that simply have the man's name as the email address.

Yes I know there are more important things to worry about, but come on ladies, this is 2009!

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 14/10/2009 20:42

ah yes the quackery that is the memory of water

and and lets do holford and swelling placebo and as supplements

LadyoftheBathtub · 14/10/2009 20:42

You see my email's not password protected from DP. I say for the squillionth time, it's not about having secrets. It's about respecting each other's lives and privacy. If DP had to look through the same inbox as me to find his emails, he might see emails from my friends - even if he didn't actually open them - discussing personal female topics, or a friend feeling upset with her DH who is DP's friend, etc. My friends don't ask for their emails to me to be accessible to him, even the subject line. It's just not his business and I wouldn't do that to them.

RubyrubyrubysAScaryOldBint · 14/10/2009 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyoftheBathtub · 14/10/2009 20:45

Ah now I do buy DP's pants, but only because I am the only one who ever goes into clothes shops. If he needs pants he says can you get me some pants next time you're in town, so I do, makes sense. Likewise I would ask him to get me a USB cable next time he's at PC World, because I can't be arsed going to PC World.

BuckRogers · 14/10/2009 20:48

Haven't read the whole thread but surely it's a convenience thing? Usually where one has moved in with the other and just starts having stuff sent to the original computer and email address, if first had AOL, say.

Also, I'm not sure using a husbands email address is any worse than using his name. Or is that submissive too?

Ladyanonymous · 14/10/2009 20:49

OMG this bugs the shit out of me too....but what is even more annoying is my ex..he and his bitchfacewhore girlfriend read all of each others texts and emails, so all of my carrespondance with he and I about our children is supervised by her.

I don't know anyone else who does this...I don't want to send an email/text to my friend and have someone else read it first....even if it is their partner...its not my partner

scottishmummy · 14/10/2009 20:51

what is convenient about losing individuality and subsuming to coupley schmuckley

i have separate email
seperate bank account

midnightexpress · 14/10/2009 20:51

DP usually buys his own pants, but what's the big deal? He buys me tampons if I need them, or indeed anything else. If I'm going shopping I'd get them for him if he was busy. They're only pants ffs. Just like anything else.

I wouldn't let him buy mine though. But only because I wouldn't trust him to get the right ones, rather than because there is anything intrinsically wrong with him buying me pants.

hatesponge · 14/10/2009 20:54

I find shared email addresses odd - unless they are set up for something specific - for example a friend set up a joint one for wedding related stuff - X&Yswedding@whateveremail etc - but generally I cant see why people dont have separate emails...much like facebook - why do people have 'shared' facebook accounts?!

Dont understand the underwear thing though...I have always bought 'nice' pants for various Exs (before they were Exs of course) - only the sexy Calvin Klein ones though, not crappy everyday multipack pants - they can buy those themselves. Is all pant buying wrong, or just boring pants?!

scottishmummy · 14/10/2009 21:01

an infrequent gift -fair enough, regular pant purchasing - icky.why in god's name?are they that helpless?that they cannot undertake some rudimentary purchase without the missus.

can they get on/off buses unsupervised?

UnquietDad · 14/10/2009 21:10

Blimey, I think we have found the grapes in supermarkets/ P&T parking of the PC.

LissyGlitter · 14/10/2009 21:14

My parents share a facebook account - now that IS annoying. It is in my mums name, but it is my Dad who leaves stupid comments everywhere, the kind of thing that is kind of eye-rollable coming from a middle aged builder/biker type, but when it is coming from a well behaved nurse and general pillar of the community looks really odd!

Also, you often see them on chat, and they refuse to tell you which one you are talking to, which is really disconcerting. I must tell them every time I see them to get separate accounts.

I have (about) 5 or 6 email accounts. I only really use two, my personal one and my uni one, but have a spam one (that I use for signing up to places I don't trust) and several that came with things like the yahoo account I use for freecycle purposes and so on. DP has two that I know of- a personal one and one with a more sensible address for job applications and the like. I even once set up a googlemail for my 2yo DD, but only as a joke to send my sister an email from her.

The ILs have a shared email address, but that is the one that came with the ISP, and I don't think they understand they can have another. They don't do much online though, so I will let them off.

scottishmummy · 14/10/2009 21:17

bet people who share accounts say "we are pregnant"

Monsterspam · 14/10/2009 21:19

So my DH who does no shopping (apart from an occasional trip to the corner shop) should go to M&S and buy his own pants even though I go shopping every week and can buy them easily?

Bollocks

Helping out your partner is rarely "icky". Especially if it only involves a simple purchase. Should he not buy my tampax in case this emasculates him?

LissyGlitter · 14/10/2009 21:20

Although, saying that, I do have a range of about three usernames and passwords that i use everywhere, that DP knows (it has just come up that he has needed to log in to something of mine at various points) so I suppose he could easily log in as me to things. I just trust him not to.

Zooropa · 14/10/2009 21:22

Because I really can't be arsed. Everyone knows "our" (boak all you like - I hate that word anyway) email address now, official emails come into it - CAN I really be bothered to change it? I have my own email at work.

And for anyone who didn't realise, my fruit shoot comment was firmly tic

scottishmummy · 14/10/2009 21:25

cannot imagine circumstance of my dp knowing or wanting my private email passwords or vice versa

alwayslookingforanswers · 14/10/2009 21:32

"cannot imagine circumstance of my dp knowing or wanting my private email passwords or vice versa "

oh I could - had I not had access to DH's infrequently used email address I wouldn't have been able to contact some key friends and family members of his when he was in hospital for 3 weeks. He couldn't tell me what the password was - but I "overrode" it as I'm the ISP account holder and got access of them.

ladymariner · 14/10/2009 21:55

what a thing to get all up in the air about. Haven't read all this thread cos couldn't be arsed to get past the first page. My dh and i share an e-mail account, so what? Read a stupid post on the first page about somebody not wanting to correspond with anyone who had a shared account.....err, fine?!!

ladymariner · 14/10/2009 21:55

what a thing to get all up in the air about. Haven't read all this thread cos couldn't be arsed to get past the first page. My dh and i share an e-mail account, so what? Read a stupid post on the first page about somebody not wanting to correspond with anyone who had a shared account.....err, fine?!!

scottishmummy · 14/10/2009 21:57

you are describing a fairly non-routine extraordinary situation

in an exceptional need to know situation most would look at mobile phone bill,look in filofax,phone mutual friends to get necessary contacts

alwayslookingforanswers · 14/10/2009 22:00

not that unusual for someone to end up in hospital unfortuanately.

Mobile phone bill - nope - payg he has (and he had it with him)

Filofax - what filofax?? none existent in this house.

Mutual friends - not many (actually not sure if there's any?) of those who would have had some of the contacts I needed.

scottishmummy · 14/10/2009 22:00

why do some of you need to migrate from she to we

alwayslookingforanswers · 14/10/2009 22:05

oh and then there were the numerous times he's needed me to get details of someone from his email contacts when he's been at work/email someone on his behalf.....and he didn't have access to a computer

alwayslookingforanswers · 14/10/2009 22:06

who went from she to we?