to think women who use their husband's email address are submissive stepford wives who don't have a life of their own?

[Picante]

Seriously, is it that hard to work out how to get your own email address?

The ones that share are bad enough e.g. '[email protected]' or whatever, but I've seen quite a few that simply have the man's name as the email address.

Yes I know there are more important things to worry about, but come on ladies, this is 2009!

the people who previously had individual accounts and latterly have joint accounts

convenience I guess.

and lets not forget blokes go from "he" to we - just depends on whose account they decide to keep and whose to get rid of.

wow, I'm a submissive Stepford wife.....better tell my husband. But only after Ive served him his dinner whilst wearing my best dress and frilly apron. Oh and brought him his slippers and the paper and a glass of his favourite tipple.

and shot the pig that is flying over our house.

Most people wouldn't share a mobile phone number, would they?... maybe some people do. To me that would seem equally odd.

My Mum and Dad have a shared email address. They only have 1 computer at home and they have no secrets from each other. So what?!

dont understand this cloying public need for shared mutual coupledom

"cloying"??? How nice....

I am digressing but I cringe at people in couples who pepper their conversation with "we" when their partner is not in the room.
As for "we're pregnant"....

who said anything about sharing a mobile phone???

Yes the "we are pregnant" grates on me.......but sometimes it is sort of relevant to use "we" even when the partner isn't in the room you know

I keep saying it but I have to say it again because the posts on here get more and more surreal ...

Are you seriously saying that your individuality is tied up in your email address? Do you really think that buying your DP underwear or anything else is a sign of subservience? Are you not allowed to help or care for each other or acknowledge that you are a family with a joint anything in fear of being labelled a couple or a family? SERIOUSLY?!

I do understand why posters say that they would not want to send a personal email to a joint email address. That makes sense. I also understand that it must be frustrating if you are a person who likes sending personal emails and your friend not having a separate email address makes that difficult.

But none of that means that your friend therefore owes it to you to get a separate email address or that she is a stepford wife. Nor does she have to get a mobile phone or an answering machine or whatever else you consider essential to making your life more convenient. Everyone gets to decide how they want to be organise their communication in a way that best suits them, not you. If they are not super-private email people, so be it. Your friendship will be played out elsewhere. And if you can't be bothered to be friends with someone who regards email in the same way as you then I strongly suspect that your friendship is no great loss.

What I simply do not understand, however, are some of the attitudes on this thread to any sign or recognition of being a couple. I think some people think that it shows great independence, strength etc etc but it really doesn't. It is quite possible to be an independent individual and part of a loving family. Acknowledging that fact by, for example, having a joint account/email/[insert applicable] is not negating your individuality. And refusing to do a favour for your DP is just you being a twat.

yes as i said bet people who share accounts say "we are pregnant" or announce we are pg from the joint account

Everyone I know in real life either shares and email address or at least an inbox.........and I've never actually heard anyone say we are pregnant before in my life.

i know no one who shares email.completley true and irrefutable for me. that's thing about anecdotes.

what a brilliant post stillstanding!!!

or you think they don't because the email address is "[email protected]" or because you know that they have separate in boxes set up.

But the computer sits at home on a table piled with crap for both of us to use.

I carry my mobile in my pocket (full of crap too!), and despite having a shared e-mail address (and facebook page) dh and I don't share pockets so having one mobile wouldn't be practical.

"We are pregnant" is American, no? Never heard anyone say it in RL. Ghastly. Mainly because it isn't factually correct - you both aren't pregnant. Quite obviously completely different from having a joint account.

I am officialy no longer an invidiual then

DH uses an account in my name
I open his mail (but not his email)
I buy him pants (actually need to get him some more I think)
I took my DH's family name when we married

I am no longer me..........I'm him

still standing, I heard "we had 5 stitches" from an English guy. Nearly choked laughing.

an email address takes two minutes to set up. There really is no excuse for not having your own.

gavel.

Who cares, seriously?

We have a joint paypal account which is under dp's email address. It doesn't mean I don't have my own.

some people (myself included) don't WANT a web based email - too many times being hacked.

And as I discovered a month or so back setting up a new email with an ISP take a lot longer than 2 minutes...... (and I know my way around computers)

affirmation and support as a couple can happen without branding everything as [email protected] and and having a homogenous identity.

helping each other out,etc yes by all means that is what being a partnership means.this can be undertaken as two individuals with a mutual common goal

try gmail alwayslookingforanswers.

should I buy a post box to stick on the wall outside the house so that DH's post goes into a different letter box from me?? After sharing an inbox affects our identity - perhaps having a joint snail mail arrival place affects it too