to think women who use their husband's email address are submissive stepford wives who don't have a life of their own?

[Picante]

Seriously, is it that hard to work out how to get your own email address?

The ones that share are bad enough e.g. '[email protected]' or whatever, but I've seen quite a few that simply have the man's name as the email address.

Yes I know there are more important things to worry about, but come on ladies, this is 2009!

oh god yes i HATE this
esp the joint ones
Like they have merged into one person and each has lost their identity

"who I wanted to contact without opening the e-mail, so I feel that I can no longer e-mail anything very personal sad e.g. joint- addresses made things difficult organising surprise 40th birthday stuff this year"

That's where the subject line come in useful, and not to mention the good old telephone (or text) .

sixfold - you'd hate my email address (well the joint one that DH and I have - which was mine while we were separated) - it's mynameandTTT (TTT being the initials of my 3 DS's )

YABU

Why are some of you reading so much into this?
eg (countess dracula) "Like they have merged into one person and each has lost their identity"... wtf???
Er... no... we just share an email address. I am still my own person, honestly. I just cannot be bothered to set up my own and tell everyone a different address - too much to do. I don't use my email for personal things anyway, but if anyone wants to get in touch with me privately - lets see, there's text, letters, or even a phone call! Of if they are too old fashioned, how about facebook? So many mediums

we share an email addy and a mobile phone. Our emails are generally about bills, grocery shopping and banking, and the mobile is for emergencies.

I have realised now that I do need a separate email account for flirting/secret shopping/naked firemen pictures to set a good example to my daughters, I will attend to the matter immediately.

If I thought about it long enough I could probably find it extremely upsetting and odd that any woman would think that DW wanted to change her surname for mine just because I impregnated her.

We share a name out of love and because we are a family we share everything, hide nothing and work together we therefore share an email - not because she defers to me.

"That's where the subject line come in useful, and not to mention the good old telephone (or text)"

Alwayslookingforanswers I think I would feel a bit rude writing "message for x" in the subject if it was going to be seen by y, who is also a good friend; it might create an unnecessary air of mystery, or give the game away that a surprise is afoot..

Text is great, but some things are too long or complicated to text.

And I never get a chance to 'phone anyone; by the time I get home from work and get DD into bed I have no desire to make cheerful 'phone calls... (or do anything except eat something large and unhealthy...)

Message deleted

Going back to the original OP, my DH who uses DWname.DWsurname at hotmail , would be a bit put out to be considered a stepford husband who didn't have a life of his own.

We both have sep work emails, but all the home stuff goes to the one (my name) email address. Things like Tesco confirmation.

Email is great - couldn't live without it, but I don't live my life on it. Don't really do Facebook either.

It is practical to have a house email, particularly when DH goes away (off for 6 months shortly to do un-Stepford like things in the middle east). Ah well - it will give him an opportunity to set up his own email.

I don't find email a personal medium at all. I never email or text personal, sensitive or emotional stuff.

I have my own email in my own name.

However this is the email we use at home generally too - so if I do things on behalf of me and DH (and DD for that matetr) such as sorting holidays, contacting friends and family, etc then that is the email we use.

I find it easier for us to have the one email. These go direct to my inbox and also my Blackberry. I am the one who uses the computer daily. DH doesn't and has little interest in the computer, so for us it makes sense.

DH does have his own email at work whih he uses for work matters and to contact friends if not at home. I actually do have access to it via my computer - in that I have access to his work Outlook to update calenders, etc at his request. Not that I check emails, etc.

7y DD also has her own email althogh can only access it with my password. She uses it to email her friend in the US.

alwayslooking No I wouldn't read a letter addressed to him. Just wouldn't occur to me to do it.

OK, I have a case in point now. I need to email the leader of my weight loss class some information that has come from my doctor. Her email address is a joint one and I don't particularly want my details to go to all and sundry (which I consider her partner to be in this instance). I can put something in the subject line but it wouldn't necessarily make a difference. So I can't email her it even though she needs to have it for tonight. So she should get a separate address non?

so it wouldn't occur to you to read a letter on the table - why would it occur to you to open an email that's obviously not for you?

DH's email is still sat in the inbox........I haven't opened it even though I've checked my own emails several times today (although I have opened his snail mail ). It's really not hard to do. And even if your weight loss instructor had an email address in her name there's absolutely NO guarantee whatsoever that her DP/DH wouldn't see it.

He could get emails to her address, they could have all email addresses "posting" into the one in box, he could know her password and check.

Someone having an email address in "their" name is no guarantee that no-one but them will see it.

But how would you know? That's assuming that everyone emailing has the sense to put Attn: Eyeballs or whatever in the subject and realistically how many people are going to do that when they fire off a quick email?

how do I know?

well usually the sender and the subject are pretty big indicators.

I try to be careful with vauge subject lines for emails these days because of the amount of SPAM that has vague subject lines......which means lots of people delete without even reading.

Oh OK.

How about husbands that use their wives e-mail addresses?

Orm - apparently that's just as bad

Oh dear.

We have a family one. Never got round to doing anything about it. A lot of my important stuff is sent at work. And DH has only just worked out how to turn the laptop on.

Oh for goodness sake. Often I think with threads like these "yeah, totally unreasonable, but it kinda bugs me too" but this really does take the biscuit.

Could you be any more judgey-pants? Who the hell cares??

I hope none of have you have emailed me on "my" email address........as DH has full access to it if he so wishes given that it's our main email address which he gives out to people as well

YANBU. I hate it. Yes, OK, these women may not have any secrets from their husbands - but if they're your friend, and you don't know the husband that well, there are things you'd tell your friend you wouldn't tell her other half.

It's the technological equivalent of coming round to theirs for a gossip and them saying - you won't mind if my husband listens in, do you? We have no secrets and he's probably not listening...

YANBU, totally bugs me too.

My dad and his wife share an email address and nobody sends them any emails, to be fair maybe that's why they have a shared one - to put people off contacting them!

I don't even like answering machines that refer to 'we' and /or 'us'. Ours just says leave a message after the beep.

I like to communicate person to person. Shared email addresses - barf and double barf.

I don't get it - is hubby supposed to read halfway down the email and work out it isn't for him? Or are you supposed to entitle every email with 'FAO Susan: Tom, keep out!'

God, it's like the dark ages.

so I take it all of you that agree with the OP read EVERY SINGLE email that comes into your inbox as you're unable to tell the spam and junk from the others.

Personally I can scan down my emails and tell straight away which ones aren't for me, which are spam, which are freecycle, which are ones for me etc etc.

It's really not that hard.

what about seprate email addresses.........shared inbox??

Even if it's clearly marked, the subject heading alone or the sender's name might be private.

I love my DP to bits but he is not me and I am not him and we are not one together etc.

I was brought up to believe that I have an absolute right to privacy, including from people I love.

I don't have secrets from DP but if we've just had words about my spending and I get an email from lovelyhandbags.com entitled 'thank you for your order' then DP will do the math and apply judgement.

It's none of DP's beeswax who emails me or why, and the why part might well be in the subject heading.

Ah well.

I'd better brush up on my grooming though. To be a proper stepford wife. And stop all the silly work stuff. And stop running - muscly thighs aren't very feminine.