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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be irritated by parents who bring shrieking children to important school meetings?

52 replies

freakname · 13/10/2009 16:35

You know the ones that sit right behind you and shriek right over the person talking so you only catch half of every sentence. I know it's not the child's fault (duh!) and sometimes you just have to bring them along BUT why don't the parents move away towards the door or back of the hall so that the other parents can hear?
Also if theres an assembly in progress why do some parents think it's ok to let their toddler wander off in front of the stage to ruin it for whoever might be doing their bit of the performance?

OP posts:
FABIsInTraining · 13/10/2009 16:36

yabu

franklymydear · 13/10/2009 16:38

because they're ignorant twats who think their right to be there far surpasses anyone else's right to hear / see proceedings

they don't realise that most sensitive parents will stay at the back and take their child out and catch up with others

its I'm alright Jack for the modern parents

preciouslillywhite · 13/10/2009 16:40

yanbu

I had to drag my twin babies to my ds' assemblies etc and always sat at the back so I could make a swift exit as soon as the inevitable wailing started. Don't see why other people can't do the same.

It's double ruuuuude, I think, when there's kids on stage.

RubysReturn · 13/10/2009 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChopsTheDuck · 13/10/2009 16:42

well when my dts were small I used to hover by the door then end up diving out. I watched the nativity through the window once!
I don't judge those who don't though. No one brings small children along unless they really don't have a choice, and they (the parents) probably really want to be there. Its got to be better than not bothering to attend anything.

gloiredemonpere · 13/10/2009 16:42

YANBU see thread on toddler at Nursery on DDs Harnest Festival. Daft Punk wouls say youwere being unreasonable but she has very dogmatic views on this issue.

Jujubean77 · 13/10/2009 16:47

I agree with you - my DD harvest assembly was a blardy nighmare, there was a really loud Toddler next to me yelping (absolutely right to be bored and restless) and the parents were both present and not one of them popped out with her. Ridiculous.

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 13/10/2009 16:48

gloiredemonpere where is that thread, I really want to read it now

RainRainGoAway · 13/10/2009 16:49

Have funny feeling my toddler could have been one of those ones!
I fed him as many raisins he could hold during harvest festival, but he was quite wriggly and occasionally shouted at his sister on stage. I couldn't get out without disrupting the whole thing.

Problem was, I thought he was remarkably good, but one of the mums after came up (in a friendly way) and said 'he was a noisy handful during that!'

Original poster
freakname · 13/10/2009 16:54

oops sorry if this has been done. Feel free to abandon it if you're going over old ground. I didn't see that other thread.

OP posts:
2shoescreepingthroughblood · 13/10/2009 16:56

I always avoided taking dd(sn( to ds's primary plays and the stuff, but in yr 6 I decided she should go(he had a speaking part)
so I arrange special front row seats with the haed, as dd is in a wheelchair(ok I milked it) and you can guess what happened when ds spoke...........

BobbingForPeachys · 13/10/2009 16:57

I tend to sit at the back but being a bit dim wherever I assume the exit to be normally gets locked and a door elsewhere opened

So yanbu to think they should leave if noise is excesive but there is a big area where one persion's noise is anothers toddler charm, and its easy to get wrong. I usually dive out at the first whinge and then miss everything, DH has a higher tolerance level (but it isset under screamer)

NancyBotwin · 13/10/2009 16:58

It's getting worse at our school (even the teachers have said so)- when mine were little I always did the sitting near the door thing and went outside if they started being noisy. And often I didn't go at all if I felt that I would end up outside for most of it anyway...

However, I was at a harvest assembly recently when one woman took ages before she took her crying child outside - her older child's class had already done their bit so she really wasn't going to miss anything - but of course spoiled it for the parents of the class who were on stage at the time. People often don't realise how quietly spoken little children are and how hard it is to hear them doing readings, etc if the audience is not quiet.

I am going to stick my neck out and say that it is often parents of PFBs who are the worst - the whole school thing is such a novelty they can't bear to miss any of it - but when you've sat through 10 harvest assemblies you start to realise that as long as your child knows you were there and you saw their bit, you can't wait to get out.

And don't get me started on childminders who bring a whole troop of mindees with them and take up all the seats!

sarah293 · 13/10/2009 16:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
freakname · 13/10/2009 17:01

On one occasion everyone was tutting this woman and glancing her way so she gave her child a large bunch of jangly keys to bash on the floor!
Is it up to the teacher to say something?

OP posts:
BobbingForPeachys · 13/10/2009 17:01

Well if its is a CM's child I think thats OK
(odd if not)

I always try and go, I want the boys to know I was there. But they ahve learned that with a busy family,colleges jobbs and appts- sometimes intention is everything!

mazzystartled · 13/10/2009 17:04

How about this for a stroke of genius? At our school, if important meetings are happening in school time, the deupty head (who loves little kids) and a couple of TAs take the toddlers off to Reception and looks after them.

Original poster
freakname · 13/10/2009 17:36

Our school does run a creche when appropriate!

OP posts:
everlong · 13/10/2009 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marioandluigi · 13/10/2009 17:48

What everlong says.

Why should those of us with loud toddler miss important meetings? Should our children miss out?

Original poster
freakname · 13/10/2009 17:52

Sorry, let me get this straight.
I go to a meeting about my child's life at school. The meeting is disrupted by shrieking child so I miss information being given out and you want me to forget about the information altogether and go deal with shrieking child?

ROFL

Can the parent not do that? Can the parent not step away so that they don't disrupt everyone else?

OP posts:
Original poster
freakname · 13/10/2009 17:53

But why do you think EVERYONE ELSE should miss out?

OP posts:
ChunkyMonkeysMum · 13/10/2009 18:03

freakname - I totally agree with you. YANBU at all.

DH & I had a meeting at a SN school. It was a very important meeting because it was about moving our ASD DS1 out of a mainstream school & into a SN school so we needed to hear everything that was being said.

There were 10 sets of parents there. Only 1 set of parents brought kids with them, who struggled & moaned & shrieked the whole way through, making it really difficult for the rest of us to hear what was being said. Not only that, but the parents turned up late & then proceeded to take over the meeting!

DH & I were lucky enough that we had someone who could look after DS2 (10 months at the time) so that we could both go, but if we hadn't been in that position, one of us would have stayed at home with him so the other one could go along.

It's a bit different in school plays etc, to take younger kids with you (personally, I still wouldn't), but when it comes to an important meeting, I don't think it should be allowed.

TsarChasm · 13/10/2009 18:04

Yanbu imo, but it's a topic which does polarise people on here.

I have 3 dc and have sat by many a door armed with breadsticks and books and juggled and jiggled them about to the nth degree, but if/when they've kicked up a rumpus we've gone straight out.

GhoulsAreLoud · 13/10/2009 18:05

This is why people have child-free weddings.