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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be irritated by parents who bring shrieking children to important school meetings?

52 replies

freakname · 13/10/2009 16:35

You know the ones that sit right behind you and shriek right over the person talking so you only catch half of every sentence. I know it's not the child's fault (duh!) and sometimes you just have to bring them along BUT why don't the parents move away towards the door or back of the hall so that the other parents can hear?
Also if theres an assembly in progress why do some parents think it's ok to let their toddler wander off in front of the stage to ruin it for whoever might be doing their bit of the performance?

OP posts:
thedollshouse · 13/10/2009 18:07

YANBU. I was at a Maths workshop and I failed to hear a single word because of two screaming toddlers.

2gorgeousboys · 13/10/2009 18:12

Interesting as DS1 has an important meeting tonight about a school residential trip. DH was going to stay at home with DS2 whilst I took DS1 as there is no one to look after him BUT DH has just called to say he will not be home from work in time. I am going to have to take DS2 and hope that he behaves.

thedollshouse · 13/10/2009 18:18

By all means take him 2gb, I don't think anyone would expect you to miss out but if he starts being too noisy take him out of the room until he calms down.

everlong · 13/10/2009 18:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
freakname · 13/10/2009 18:39

I have my opinion everlong and was interested to hear everyone elses

Yes it does polarise people.

If you take your child out then you could get the information you missed from a parent who was able to hear it.
Otherwise no one can hear anything!

OP posts:
purepurple · 13/10/2009 18:49

I have been in this position. Many moons ago.
DD is 7 years younger than DS. DH has worked abroad lots and I have no family living within 200 miles.
When I had to take DD, I would sit near the back and take her out at the first sign of screaming.
Op, YANBU to be irritated. But, sometimes there is no other option.

madamearcati · 13/10/2009 19:06

Our harvest festival was spoiled this year (IMO) At the back of teh church they put out a rug and lots of toys to amuse the littlies.But some children even up to about 4 were shoting not crying but shouting , one parent was tickling their DC and you couldn't hear a word of the harvest prayers and poems the older children had written and were reading out.The parents were mainly ones with KS1 children who weren't performing.Very selfish behaviour

Jujubean77 · 13/10/2009 19:29

lol at go and ask if they need help. What so you miss the meeting/assembly and help entertain another child whose parent is present..baffling idea

franklymydear · 13/10/2009 19:38

People with loud toddlers / children who cannot arrange childcare should absolutely "miss out" and get the information from either a peer or a teacher after the event.

To take your loud children along and not remove them is antisocial, selfish and insensitive to the needs of everyone else. You are not more important than others. And if you think you have a right to be there with a screeching child then you are sorely sorely mistaken

BobbingForPeachys · 13/10/2009 20:33

No, they should turn up freely but leave if they have to.And parents whilst expecting someone to leave with a screamer should be able to tolerate the usual toddler burbling.

DS2 missed out on music lessons for a year because we couldn't take ds4 to the meeting and the teacher forgot to get the aperwork for us (its first come first served, places fgo quickly). And as far as I am concerned, a peer may as well be a gentle strolling point on Brighton beach....

PuppyMonkey · 13/10/2009 20:38

Am I the only one here who has never been to an "important meeting" at my child's school?

BobbingForPeachys · 13/10/2009 20:40

LoL PM-there are interpretations on important

forms for things they are short of = important

much else = nt important (esp. long talks about how your child should not have a TV playing in their room all night and have books toread- er yes ta, worked that out)

But school concerts etc- unless your job absolutely prevents it then yes, matters to the kids ime (after a desolate ds2 sobbed through one when I had exams )

losingtheplotthisweek · 13/10/2009 22:38

Thanks frankly, that's charming.

My DS should certainly miss out on Mummy ever seeing him in a play or assembly or having a clue about what's going on at school. He is totally to blame for having two little sisters and a muppet father who left them all.

What a delightful sentiment

sarah293 · 14/10/2009 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

CornishKK · 14/10/2009 08:00

YANBU to expect best efforts are made to keep noise to a minimum, and yes take them out if they are really not controllable but a little bit of empathy wouldn't go amiss.

I believe that my DS should not have an impact on anyone but his family, we chose to have him and we love - can't expect anyone else to put up with his noise. If he crys whilst we are out I take him outside until he's happy again. I know that's easier with a baby than a toddler but I will try to maintain this. (I'm prepared to be flamed, new mum, one child!).

We had a very child friendly wedding, I love children and they are a big part of our family life but I was that one child was screaming during our vows, to the point I actually turned round to see which child it was. You can hear it on our wedding dvd throughout the vows! Take it outside love!

Tambajam · 14/10/2009 08:18

YANBU
I sit at the back or near a door. I load up with books and snacks and if the noise is unreasonable I will pop out.

2shoescreepingthroughblood · 14/10/2009 08:30

riven I would like to think people make exceptions for dd's like ours. with dd there i
was nothing you can do to keep her quiet(she is better now she is older)and no one else could look after her.....so I missed a lot of stuff

kreecherlivesupstairs · 14/10/2009 08:33

YANBU, says kreecher who only has one to worry about. I think the school should if possible arrange a creche. Ours does, though I seldom need to use it, dd can just run free in the playground with the other ferals.

fernie3 · 14/10/2009 08:47

I cant decide if you are being unreasonable or not - I can see both sides of it. I Never take my little ones to meetings BUT then again I have a husband at home to look after them while I go. Luckily most meetings are after work hours so its not a problem.

However I have a friend who has really struggled since her partner left her a few years ago - she struggles getting her kids to school, struggles to keep them under control and the oldest is already in trouble with the police and frankly she doesnt often bother with any meeting with the result that her kids do miss out. IF she had younger children (she doesnt but if she did) then I would be glad that she was at the meeting and taking an interest again rather than using any excuse not to go. Its is really hard to say which side is right! I hate whingy little ones as well but sometimes its just good that the parents have bothered to go!

BobbingForPeachys · 14/10/2009 11:07

This amy well bvecome significant to us- our new Head has a policy of nothing ever after 5.30; once Dh is back at work a lot will be evenings and there will be many like us so it could be interesting....

Original poster
freakname · 14/10/2009 12:03

Before this goes extreme I would just like to say (as I did in OP) that it's normal and ok for them to be there and some noise is expected.

BUT

If it means that the shrieking (NOT burbling, cooing etc) but very loud shrieking disrupts every other word then why would you not take them out?

Do you not think it's a selfish attitude?

OP posts:
franklymydear · 14/10/2009 15:30

what freakname said

because no matter how crap your life and circumstances, oh and we can all do the woe is me shit if we need to, it is selfish to allow your children to make so much noise that others cannot hear / see proceedings

that is why you sit at the back and take them out

jasper · 14/10/2009 15:34

YANBU

daisy5678 · 14/10/2009 19:23

In a two parent family, with a noisy (or likely to be noisy) child, one should stay at home with the child if childcare can't be arranged. It's not fair on other parents or on the kids who are performing to have everything ruined and inaudible.

OP: YANBU.

simplesusan · 14/10/2009 23:14

YANBU

I was at dds music concert.
A small child screamed and I mean really screamed constantly for around 8 minutes during one section of the performanrce. It was so loud that you literally couldn't hear the children playing. Virtually everyone was turning round looking at the parent. After those children had finished one of the teachers had to get up and request that unsettled children be taken outside (they could look through the glass doors). By this time the same child was rolling on the floor sobbing and pleading with her mum.The parent didn't move. The embarassed teacher then grabbed one of the raffle prizes which was a selecton box ripped it open and gave it to the sobbing child as a bribe to get her out of the room so that the concert could go on.