to ask for seperate Christmas and Birthday presents for my child?

[Doodleydoo]

My DC was born v. close to Christmas and it breaks my heart to think that she might not be able to enjoy her birthday as a special day because of the ocnfusion of xmas. Last year her DGP gave her for her birthday the same thing they gave their other DGC as a present that they had brought back from holiday. Felt slightly peeved - but that is my problem! However DGP is suggesting that a joint xmas/birthday present of same thing other DGC got for their birthday which is earlier in the year. I know it is probably me being jealous but don't want this to start being a regular thing as I think it is unfair to distinguish between the 2DGC for a start and set a precident that DC birthday is combined with xmas every year.

I know must get over the jealousy myself, and that in the years when I was small I sometimes got a joint bday/xmas present but it was when I was much older and understood.

How do I broach the subject without being told I am a spoilt cow - which I hope I am not.

As someone who has a birthday v close to xmas I used to get joint presents all the time, very upsetting as a child to sit with your sisters and open your presents all the same thing except your label says happy xmas/ birthday then to see your sisters get a birthday present when their birthday comes is hard.

so definately NBU I would say something before DC is old enough to realise.

Coming from a teen with a birthday on Christmas day, my mum has always has a rule of no joint presents unless it is large (i.e. laptop, phone etc). She was kind about it when discussing it with others, but her go to line was "If you are going to buy present for her, please don't make them joint so she doesn't get left out for unfair reasons." and as for celebrating my birthday, we aren't a Christian family so Christmas day always felt ore like my birthday, and I never minded that others got presents as well because it made them happy, and it was normal.

@overmydeadbody

"Well, I can understand your worry but really she is lucky to be getting any presents at all, they are not compulsory or anything, so it really is up to the givers what they get her and if they get her any presents at all, and if they want to combine it, that's up to them as well."
Oh, give over. Of course GP buy presents for their DGC. They aren't compulsory but they do buy them so they obviously want to.

I would definitely ask GP to buy individual presents for birthday and Christmas. I would just explain that you have told your DC that everyone has one special day each year when they receive gifts to celebrate the day they were born. I would say that when they buy one joint birthday and Christmas present for her, it will take away from them having that special day. I see no reason why they should object to buying 2 smaller gifts.

It doesn't answer the issue of the other GC receiving more but I wonder if that is because, in the past, they've thought your DC was too young to understand the differential in price and size or quantity of gifts so it didn't really matter.

I feel your pain my ds was born Christmas day and I've had same problem of people giving combined it's really shit and unfortunately gets worse as they get older.

YANBU!

My birthday is 10 days before Xmas. My parents were amazing about it to be fair. No tree up til after my birthday and no Xmas cards on display in the living room until my cards had been up a full week (they used to hang them on string in the hall instead).

As an adult it completely sucks though. Everyone’s busy or skint or both. Can’t go out for a nice meal without crackers and fucking turkey everywhere. Am going to an Indian restaurant this year and hoping it’ll be relatively Xmas free.

I’ve been known to give cheeky present combiners their birthday present and say ‘That’s for Christmas too’ when I get an ‘Oh but that’s not fair’ I smile and say Not it’s not is it?!’. It’s worked a charm.

Zombie thread from 2009

My dd is 3 days after Christmas and only her gran would do this. I just insisted, then she started giving her birthday in Christmas wrap until i just started handed it back to her. She soon stopped doing it. I didnt care about the value i cared about the separation of Christmas and birthday...also all Christmas cards were taken down to make room for her birthday cards

omg why are 2009 threads coming up

My son's B'day is Dec 21st. We've always celebrated his birthday and had parties on the day and even though it's a busy time of year his friends come.
We always get him separate presents and wrap them in birthday wrapping paper. (I hate it when he gets b'day presents in Christmas paper)
Put your foot down now and make sure your child's B'day get properly celebrated.

You are certainly not being a spoilt cow or jealous for that matter . Just hurt and determined to do the best by your daughter.
I’m amazed that DGP can bring holiday presents and give one as a birthday gift for your DD . Has she a screw loose ?
You are right to want to nip this tendency / habit in the bud . If it’s a matter of finance ask GDP if she would be prepared to set aside the Birthday money for DD say in June- to spread the cost associated with Christmas.
It really hurts to get joint presents - especially as you seem to be blamed for your birthdate !

My birthday is the week before Xmas, growing up I was traumatised hat I was the only one of my friends that couldn't have a McDonald's birthday party, they stopped doing them in November 😭 also my mum didn't put the tree up till my birthday to make it feel special-this was the only nod to Xmas on my birthday. As for presents when someone suggested a joint present my mum would ask if they would do the same for somebody who's birthday was in June, that usually shut them up and don't even get me started on birthday presents wrapped in Xmas paper... 😡

My DP has birthday few days before Christmas and has so many stories of unfair present giving from childhood- hasn't got over it at 57 !!
Some years back when he and all sibs in their 20's/30's he forgot his db's birthday (July) and his mother was giving him a slightly hard time over it. As a half joking response he said "oh I was going to give him a joint present at Christmas as everyone does this for me so I thought I should do the same"
Things did improve after that.

Small family so not a major problem but we always insisted on seperate presents for our Christmas baby, she's 38 this year. I still buy her cards in the summer, when there is a good selection She could also choose which restaurant to go to for our family celebration. Sooo many places only have "Christmas" menus for the whole of December. Really reduced her options.