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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my friend doesnt know what she is doing

35 replies

OnlyWantsOneFartleBerry · 08/10/2009 10:40

A friend of mine came round last night and after much T and sympathy for me, she told me some "good news"

she's taking Clomid (which she has bought online and has been given some by another friend) because she wants to have twins!!!

I dont know any thing much about clomid apsrt from what I have seen when googled it just now, but it just makes me scream - its dangerous????? As she isnt being watched by a doctor or any thing.

Plus, the cherry on the you-silly-muppet-cake was - she hasnt told her DH and isnt going too. She won't tell him either, even if they do concieve.

She has no other fertility problems, she has a healthy DD already.

AiMBU?

OP posts:
starwhores · 08/10/2009 10:41

Silly silly woman.
yanbu

BrokkenHarted · 08/10/2009 10:42

No! Tell her what you have discovered!

pipWereRabbit · 08/10/2009 10:43

You are not being unreasonable - your friend is quite possibly insane.
She's taking a drug which can have serious side effects without medical supervision, she is decieving her DH and all because.... she fancies twins instead of a singelton.
[angdy] words fail me.

Triggles · 08/10/2009 10:43

She should be monitored by a doctor, although I understand that in the states some women are given the meds and checked every couple months for 6 months. Depends on the doctor, I suppose. It's certainly not a horribly clever idea, I wouldn't think.

pipWereRabbit · 08/10/2009 10:43

In fact so angry my typing has failed (oops).

HalfMumHalfBiscuit · 08/10/2009 10:45

YANBU - sounds dangerous.

Original poster
OnlyWantsOneFartleBerry · 08/10/2009 10:46

she must have read up on it on the internet though, otherwise she wouldnt know that the side effects can be multiple births.

I told her often last night, that I thought she should seriously think about what she was doing, and if she decieved her DH it would probably come out at some point during the pregnancy, or blood test at hospital and then where would that leave them but she said that it was irrelivent.

I just want to stay out of it

OP posts:
kreecherlivesupstairs · 08/10/2009 10:54

OMGfucking goodness. Silly silly silly woman. Wasn't that Mandy whatsname on clomid when she conceived eight? Could you gently suggest it may not only be twins? She could end up with lots and lots and lots. TBH, if I did that to my dh and he found out, he would justifiably be furious.

Weegle · 08/10/2009 11:00

What a silly silly woman.

If this was one of my friends (although I don't think they'd be stupid enough to tell me given they know I conceived on clomid due to fertility issues) I would tell them how foolish and deceptive I think they are being. And I'm normally one for keeping my mouth shut. I had one cycle of clomid - the side effects were horrible. The risks of longer term use include cancer FFS. There is a reason you are monitored on this drug. Also - coming from someone who is currently pregnant with twins (identical so not due to the clomid) she seriously will need her partner's unfailing support - and if he finds out he's been 'tricked' in to it (assuming it even 'works') no one could blame him for not feeling entirely supportive. I would let my friend know all that.

TrillianSlasher · 08/10/2009 11:02

What an idiot.

Why does she want twins so badly that she's willing to take drugs that she doesn't need and risk side-effects?

Or does she not want them that badly, she just doesn't realise what a serious thing it is to do?

3littlefrogs · 08/10/2009 11:05

That is really dangerous. I think this business of being able to buy God knows what on-line is appalling.

ArghhhhmazingBouncingSpider · 08/10/2009 11:15

Wow.
I dont know the first thing about clomid, but she sounds like she is being very, very stupid taking it without medical advice.

Morloth · 08/10/2009 11:21

She is also assuming that what she has obtained via the internet is Clomid. Quite apart from the twin thing, how does she know what she is actually putting down her throat?

FABIsInTraining · 08/10/2009 11:23

She would be an ex friend for me.

JaneyTroll · 08/10/2009 11:51

Wow! That's insane! I took clomid as part of fertility treatment, and aside from the unpleasant side effects (it can make you feel quite menopausal complete with hot flushes) I was scanned like mad to see what effect the dose was having as there is a danger of ovarian hyper-stimulation syndrome (think I remembered that term correctly). This is when your ovaries over react and produce FAR too many eggs all at the same time. This can be anything from mild (bloating feeling, abdominal pain and nausea) to severe (rupture of an ovary).

I was on Clomiphene for about 6 months and was scanned 2-3 times a month. Didn't work for me (but IUI did - now 38wks+5 hooray!).

Hope your friend sees sense. This isn't a drug to be casually messed about with.

edam · 08/10/2009 11:55

Janey's right, ovarian hyperstimulation is flaming dangerous. There's a reason people have to monitored by a doctor. Good grief, in the worst case, without being checked out, she could die.

ninedragons · 08/10/2009 11:58

Morloth is right. There are an awful lot of fake drugs out there originating from China, and as Clomid is popular in China for circumventing the one-child policy, it's guaranteed to be a target for manufacturers because the market is so huge.

Best case she could be taking aspirin. Worst case, who knows what the fuck she's taking?

FABIsInTraining · 08/10/2009 12:52

I am wondering if you need to think about telling her GP if not her DH.

paddypoopants · 08/10/2009 13:01

The woman is obviously quite mad. I was prescribed clomid for a while as I had pcos and it made me really depressed and a bit mental. I remember them giving me a sheet on the statistics and complications than occur with multiple births and it scared the living daylights out of me - reading that put an end to the whole "wouldn't it be wonderful if I got pregnant with twins" fantasy.

NicknameTaken · 08/10/2009 13:53

Has she thought through what she would do if she conceives multiples (more than two)? Is she willing to selectively reduce?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 08/10/2009 14:23

What if she conceives more than two and miscarries them all? If she conceives 3 or more questions will probably be asked and she will probably not be able to hide what she did. I am appalled that she is doing this without letting her DH know, quite apart from the risks, to herself and possible future babies. It's a serious drug, like most are, prescribed to people with a genuine need where the patient and the doctor agree that the benefits outweigh the risks. For a healthy woman without fertility problems it's obvious that they don't - and nobody knows she's taking it! [shakes head]

Malificence · 08/10/2009 15:53

I would have to tell her poor husband!

She's either very naive and ill informed of the risks or she has mental health problems.

Tell him what she's told you and that you're worried sick about her. He absolutely deserves to know.

What makes people do something like this? It's bonkers!

gladders · 08/10/2009 16:02

I would want to share all the info I had with her. If she still chooses to carry on, then that's her call. I would not see it as my business to tell her dh.

i would also do my very best to invite her over for coffee at the same time as someone with pre-school twins just so she can see the kind of madness that she is aiming for....

choosyfloosy · 08/10/2009 16:14

right, that makes 4 posts on MN over the years that have really shocked me to the core.

What did you say Only?

Lulumama · 08/10/2009 16:17

she is clearly being incredibly naive and behaving in an irresponsible and irrational manner

why does she want twins so much?

what if the clomid she has bought is actually not clomid but some other sort of drug and could actually harm any baby she might conceive?

clomid is prescribed and a woman taking it is under consultant care for a reason

i would not be able to hold back at this sort of dangerous behaviour

and why in gods name is she doing this withouth telling her DH?

slightly unhinged actions IMO

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