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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think parents should greet their child with a smile at least, at primary school pick up?

74 replies

MamaG · 05/10/2009 15:03

I am very nosy observant and notice SO many mums and dads just carry on their convo with barely a glance at their offspring, then they just slug off home.

Can understand not wanting to interrupt a convo, but an eye-meet, smile, hair ruffle, ANYTHING other than a quick glance and a grab of bookbag!

I'm not suggesting we all sob with relief when our precious child emerges from school, but come on, a bloody smile isn't too much to ask is it?

OP posts:
Jamieandhismagictorch · 05/10/2009 15:09

I agree with you, child should be made to feel as if you are happy to see them ( although I sometimes don't get greeted very nicely by my sons - bless 'em, they're tired )

Hulababy · 05/10/2009 15:15

YANBU.

But I would imagine this thread may end up with cries of yabu and that the parents are perhaps ill, have had a bad day, have special needs, we don't know their life story, etc.......

Original poster
MamaG · 05/10/2009 15:17

bring it on hula!

OP posts:
Disembodied3 · 05/10/2009 15:18

:: yaNbu!

DS always get a big fuus, pick up-cuddle,, over excited 'how was your day / what did you do today?!'

I can't imagine collecting him and not saying hello,

Northernlurker · 05/10/2009 15:22

Now come on Mamag the parents are perhaps ill, have had a bad day, have special needs, you don't know their life story, etc....... I am quite likely to greet my dd with 'where hae you been, I've been out for an age' - so judge me!

preciouslillywhite · 05/10/2009 15:34

I always grab my ds as he hurtles out and smother him with kisses, hand feed him peeled grapes and crudites, with queries about how was his day, who did he play with etc etc.

Now he has started to complain, though, and the other day I caught him sneaking out of the back entrance.

When I caught up with him, he burst into tears and said no-one's mums picked them up in Year 8.

Well, no wonder teenagers are going off the rails if that's how their parents treat them

famishedass · 05/10/2009 15:45

YANBU - someone I know never has a nice word to say to her kids. I once looked after both her kids for her whilst she was at work all day and the minute she saw them, she started telling them off.

If it's a one off then fair enough, but everytime

exbrummie · 05/10/2009 18:11

I once heard a woman say to her child"I've had enough of you today"this was less than five minutes after they had come out of school!

lilacclaire · 05/10/2009 18:15

lol at preciouslillywhite.

Im the goofy mum standing waving with a big smile when ds comes out.

A few other mums make me shudder though with 'get a f** move on' etc.

Tombliboobs · 05/10/2009 18:36

at precious, though I am kind of laughing as I can imagine that could be me in many years to come!

YANBU

It is really sad. I have seen the same thing, children not even given eye contact, a smile or any acknowledgment of their existence.

When I have needed to pass on a message to a parent, I have struggled to gain their attention, even though I am stood next to them handing over their child.

southeastastra · 05/10/2009 18:36

or a finger of fudge

SixtyFootDoll · 05/10/2009 18:38

YANBU I go a bit overboard esp when DS2 won pupil of the week award on Friday
I was shrieking and jumping for joy!!

IdrisTheDragon · 05/10/2009 18:40

I think I smile at DS. Just asked him and he said I do, sometimes. He is 5 and in year 1. Will try harder tomorrow .

Goblinchild · 05/10/2009 18:41

Is it be bitchy about sn week?
I''m always amazed about how many miserable and grumpy mothers there are waiting for their children in the playground.
Day after day they give the impression that their children get in the way of them having a life, and it's depressing to observe the way they barely make eye contact.
The contrast between them and the 'pleased to see you' lot is very noticeable, even if the latter just smile and receive packages.

boodeniites · 05/10/2009 18:57

i heard a women tell a child yesterday she would "kick her head in" if she didnt behave this was at the car boot sale the woman mother i am presuming said it in a very mild voice a they were both looking at book at the time bizarre!

choccyp1g · 05/10/2009 19:00

There should also be a rule that children should greet their grown-up with a smile. like this
DS used to come out SOOOO grumpy and bad-tempered, but it has improved as he has matured I think.

slowreadingprogress · 05/10/2009 19:49

YANBU and I have noticed this as well!

Jamieandhismagictorch · 05/10/2009 19:50

I'm with you there choccy.

DS2, who is 6 , comes out with slumped shoulders and a grumpy look on his face, like this .

DS1 was the same at that age. The only remedy is a quickly-administered chocolate biscuit to address the sugar low.

troutpout · 05/10/2009 20:08

yabu

the parents are perhaps ill, have had a bad day, have special needs, we don't know their life story

etc

I never see this actually...everyone seems very happy to see their children in our playground

Hando · 05/10/2009 20:11

"I once heard a woman say to her child"I've had enough of you today"

I hope you got straight on the phone to social services!

messalina · 05/10/2009 20:13

You're absolutely right. I can be in a foul mood until I actually pick DD up from nursery in the evenings and as soon as I see her waving and smiling at me, my mood evaporates and I am delighted to see her.

Hando · 05/10/2009 20:15

Although, I do always try and be smiley and happy reading with a hug and a snack for dd. But generally it;s the kids who come out grumpy. Or I hold my arms out only for dd to go runnig up to stroke another mums dog!

I am though that dd was being a bit naughty one time and I gave her "the look" as if to say "behave yourself" and she said sweetly... "mummy, have you had enough of me today?" I must have said that to her once and she remembered. I felt awful, and make sure I don't ever say it now.

zebramummy · 05/10/2009 20:16

carry on being overly affectionate - it rubs off onto some of them! i have found that it jolts them into action and esp if they have a competitive streak, they may up their game in an instant and manage a smile or a question

CaptainUnderpants · 05/10/2009 20:20

I always greet my two DS when they come out of school , followed by 'Where's your jumper ?' because it has usually been left on the field forming part of a goal post .

they greet me with 'Have you got anything to eat ?'

When I ask them what they did at school it's 'Nothing'

when I ask them who they played with it's 'No one'

When I ask them if they had a good day , they reply ' Have you got anything else to eat ?'

But I do try honest .....

SixtyFootDoll · 05/10/2009 20:47

Oh yes DS's first words to me are
' have you got me something to eat/ drink?