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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to broadcast the video of the birth at my dd's christening?

244 replies

OhCrumbs · 05/10/2009 12:46

We tried to have a child for a long time and so when I became pregnant I was thrilled. My husband and I did a kind of video diary charting the pregnancy as it went along and obviously he videoed the birth too, which was a wonderful experience that my husband participated in.

We are to hold my daughter's christening in a few weeks and during the ceremony I'd like the video to be screened as a celebration of all we went through and experienced to get to that day.

But my husband's mother heard about our plans and now his family are threatening to boycott the ceremony, calling me a "freak" and saying it would be distasteful. How can a birth be distasteful?

OP posts:
diddl · 05/10/2009 13:26

But it´s supposed to be about your daughter, not what you went through.

For once I´m on a MILs side!!

Undercovamutha · 05/10/2009 13:26

IME people who've just had their first baby have the same interest in discussing/reliving the birth as newly married people have about their wedding photos. I'm sure I bored people (close friends) silly about my labour, DD's wonderful arrival into the world etc etc.
But however much you want to share the beautiful moments, I don't think the christening is the right time. Why not just tell people that you have the video and say if they want to see it they can call round another time.
However, I must say that I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER want anyone (and particularly my in-laws) to see me during labour other than DH - either in person or on video. TBH I can hardly bear to look at myself in the photos taken in the few days after the birth!!!! .

Boco · 05/10/2009 13:27

I think it sounds like an excellent idea.

And I hope there are 'placenta vol au vents' at the buffet too, as I'm sure that friends and family would like to share in the wonder of new life.

Bucharest · 05/10/2009 13:27

Birth, and videos thereof, are not distasteful. They are excruciatingly boring however, like scan pictures, with a bit of extra huffing and puffing and excretion of icky fluids, they are all a bit samey. And might well put your guests off both the cake, and looking you in the face.....

But as it's obviously loopy Monday, you go ahead dear.

preciouslillywhite · 05/10/2009 13:28

...ooh, and can you take a photo of your Nan while she watches it, and post it on here afterwards?

preciouslillywhite · 05/10/2009 13:29

...just need to add that it's about 5 below in here as I'm being frugal with me gas- but your OP has made me feel positively tropical

SpookyAlice · 05/10/2009 13:30

I just can't understand why you think that all your guests would want to see it.

It has completely baffled me

paisleyleaf · 05/10/2009 13:30

OhCrumbs, that sort of thing is nice for you to keep. And maybe watch by yourself when you can't believe she's starting school etc
But it's not what a christening is about, and it's not something everyone else wants to see.

We have felt unable to visit a friend of mine at her home since she's put a massive "arty" photo of herself up over the fireplace. It's poster size (her breasts are hidden by her cupped hands though).

LimburgseVlaai · 05/10/2009 13:33

Hmmm, I'm fairly new to mumsnet so I'm not sure whether this is the right expression: troll ?!

Mamazon · 05/10/2009 13:33

i wasn't going to but i can't help but post.

How incredibly self absorbed you must be. Do you honestly believe anyone cares about her birth?
everyone knows how babies are born. if they are parents themsleves they will have had first hand experience.
Why exactly do you think they would want to see yours?

This really is PFB gone to the extreme.

Original poster
OhCrumbs · 05/10/2009 13:33

I find your attitudes to this very puzzling, I thought we were to celebrate birth, not find the whole process distasteful! Are you all Daily Mail readers?

I was brought up to view the body and all its processes as something that is wonderful and to be celebrated, not to be ashamed of. We had no doors in our house, everything was shared.

My mother in law is very strange, she even makes us knock on the door when we visit - we're family for heaven's sake not door salesman left to stand on the doorstep!

OP posts:
RnB · 05/10/2009 13:35

this must be a joke

diddl · 05/10/2009 13:36

You have to knock at MILs door??

How very dare she?

How do family get in your house then?
They all have keys or you leave the doors open?

AMumInScotland · 05/10/2009 13:36

I'm really enjoying picturing the look on the face of the clergy when you tell them you're planning to have this running during the ceremony.... anything from the frozen polite smile through to total incredulity, and even an apoplectic fit seem to be the most likely ones that I can imagine just at the moment... though you may have a very trendy young curate who will think it might be a nice idea till he checks with the rector.

squeaver · 05/10/2009 13:36

Hmmm...

"naked stills"

"feathery bits"

"no doors in our house"

"Daily Mail readers"

C'mon BOF, we know it's you!

preciouslillywhite · 05/10/2009 13:37
diddl · 05/10/2009 13:37

Think you´re right, RnB.

Although jokes are meant to be funny?

Boco · 05/10/2009 13:38

Why didn't you have any doors? Was it on purpose?

Is you forrin? It's not very English to display your bodily leakings and expulsions with everyone, no matter how glorious. Keep a little back for yourself maybe?

preciouslillywhite · 05/10/2009 13:38

I just clocked that too,squeaver

...slow day at work, BoF??

megapixels · 05/10/2009 13:38

Ha ha, what an odd mother in law you have! Did she also refuse to watch your first copulation with her son?

Mamazon · 05/10/2009 13:38

no. you are there to celebrate your child.

its a bit like having a her first birthday party and showing a video of her having her first poo.

we all know it happens, its a necessary function its not disgusting or wrong.
BUT no one needs to see it.

I can assure you that there will not be a single person in attendance looking forward to seeing your fanjo.

and as for knocking when arriving at someones home, thats called manners.

AMumInScotland · 05/10/2009 13:39

LimburgseVlaai - Oh that's the right word all right. But at least it's a more amusing one than we've had for a while.

Tryharder · 05/10/2009 13:40

Paisleyleaf, yes we too have a relative with lots of "tasteful" "arty" shots of her pregnant

Demi moore has a lot to answer for, that's for sure.

thatsnotmymonster · 05/10/2009 13:40

Lol. This is definitely a troll.

There is nothing distasteful about it, OhCrumbs. As everyone else has said- it is just mind numbingly boring and not appropriate for the occasion.

On the otherhand I suspect most of your family and friends must think you are slightly nuts anyway, so go on. It will give them something to laugh about later and they will always talk about your daughter as 'the one with the loopy, self-obsessed mum who insisted on showing that video at the Christening.'

stillstanding · 05/10/2009 13:40

Don't feed the troll