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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to broadcast the video of the birth at my dd's christening?

244 replies

OhCrumbs · 05/10/2009 12:46

We tried to have a child for a long time and so when I became pregnant I was thrilled. My husband and I did a kind of video diary charting the pregnancy as it went along and obviously he videoed the birth too, which was a wonderful experience that my husband participated in.

We are to hold my daughter's christening in a few weeks and during the ceremony I'd like the video to be screened as a celebration of all we went through and experienced to get to that day.

But my husband's mother heard about our plans and now his family are threatening to boycott the ceremony, calling me a "freak" and saying it would be distasteful. How can a birth be distasteful?

OP posts:
Morloth · 05/10/2009 12:57

It is possible to share too much.

AbominableDomine · 05/10/2009 12:57

what starwhores said.

jobhuntersrus · 05/10/2009 12:58

What about putting together a nice scrapbook or photo album of your journey to parenthood? The people who are interested can look through it if they wish?

Stayingsunnygirl · 05/10/2009 12:59

I think there's only one birth that gets re-enacted in church, and even then it's the U rated version of events!!

Of course, it could be a very good way of ensuring that no-one has any appetite whatsoever after the ceremony, so catering for the party would be very cheap!!

serenity · 05/10/2009 12:59

Still no, sorry. You'll traumatise everyone.

Tambajam · 05/10/2009 13:00

I don't think it's a great idea.

It would certainly be the one thing everyone remembered but would detract from the purpose of why you are all there. Several people would feel shocked and uncomfortable.

Would you want to actually give birth infront of this crowd? Would they actually have wanted to be present at the birth?

It sounds more about YOU than about your daughter's Christening TBH.

bibbitybobbityCAT · 05/10/2009 13:00

Put vid on YouTube so we can judge please. Surely if you want to share with friends and family you also want to share with your lubbly wubbly Mumsnet family too?

MissAnnesley · 05/10/2009 13:00

my feathery bits

I think there's a thread somewhere for that too.

DorotheaPlentighoul · 05/10/2009 13:01

"arty stills"

Mega-

Iklboo · 05/10/2009 13:02

Just don't screen it during the buffet

MissAnnesley · 05/10/2009 13:02

And LOL at "very arty" naked shots.

Why do people always call naked shots arty?

womblemeister · 05/10/2009 13:03

There's bound to be a Discovery Real Time documentary that would love to see your video.

If you do insist on inflicting it on your hapless guests, just bring lots of Dettol and kitchen roll along to clean up after the christening banquet.

Cannot believe this post is for real.

AMumInScotland · 05/10/2009 13:04

PMSL

You're either having us on, on you're the most self-obsessed person going - why on earth would your family and friends want to be shown any of that, however "tastefully" it was done?

Oh and, by the way a "christening" is the point in your baby's life when you are meant to be talking about how you are going to raise your child within the Christian faith.

Your minister will probably not want to see your birth video as part of that religious ceremony...

Curiousmama · 05/10/2009 13:06

good one

MadameDefarge · 05/10/2009 13:07

Are you planning to video her first poo in a potty? and show it at her 18th birthday party?

PoppyIsApain · 05/10/2009 13:08

Whats the point in upsetting family members, it shouldnt be there choice with what you do at the christening but i think you will have fonder memories of the christening if you avoid pointless arguing, i would hate to have people watching my ds being born no matter what angle the camera was at!

Original poster
OhCrumbs · 05/10/2009 13:16

Well I don't see what's so wrong with showing a very natural and beautiful process to friends and family - they are supposed to CARE aren't they? How can you compare giving birth to having a poo? Was it not an enjoyable experience for you?

We want to celebrate our daughter's existance and this is the best way we thought of. It's not about me at all, it's about our daughter and the wonderful way she came into the world! The screening won't have sound, it will just be played in the background on a projection screen.

Nobody will be put off their food as the food will not be served then, we are eating in our garden marquee afterwards. I thought his family were just very unreasonable, why would you not be interested in knowing how your granddaughter came into the world?

My parents have been great about it, they were there during the birth and did some of the filming such as showing my husband cutting the cord.

OP posts:
flimflammum · 05/10/2009 13:17

YABU, not to say inappropriate (and pfb - but we'll forgive you that if it was a long-awaited pregnancy). Maybe a compromise, if you must do this, would be to show it in another room to any guests who actually want to see it, during the reception (and anyone who sits through it all gets an extra glass of champagne).

diddl · 05/10/2009 13:19

"We want to celebrate her life in style and want to share these special moments with our family and friends."

So don´t show the video!!

These moments really aren´t special to anyone else!!

paisleyleaf · 05/10/2009 13:21

I would imagine they've already got a good idea how their granddaughter came into the world OhCrumbs.

HappyMummyOfOne · 05/10/2009 13:22

My friends and family care about me but would hate the idea of showing the birth of DS at a christening. They dont have to worry though as it wasnt taped and even if it was there is NO WAY anybody would ever watch it.

" it's about our daughter and the wonderful way she came into the world" - all babies come into the world the same way so i'm sure your guests will know how she came into the world without seeing it in full colour glory.

And now i'll stop feeding the troll

Stayingsunnygirl · 05/10/2009 13:23

Errrm - given that your parents in law have at least one son, they are probably pretty au fait with how children come into the world - it's not a process that's changed dramatically in recent years.

I suspect you thought you were going to get a ringing endorsement of your plan, and condemnation of your MIL's views, but I think you have to accept that the vast majority of people don't think this is a good idea.

If you go ahead regardless of how uncomfortable you are going to make some people (and regardless of the long-term damage you could do to the relationship between you and your MIL by doing something you know will make her boycott the christening), then you will be being very selfish, imo.

Sidge · 05/10/2009 13:24

I'm sure your guests will be quite aware of how your daughter came into the world - they won't need widescreen 3D Fannyvision to understand.

This might be the age of YouTube, Facebook and Twitter but I really have no inclination to share every aspect of mine, or my family's life in a public way. And nor do I want to share some aspects of my friends' lives either.

I've also had some very enjoyable orgasms, maybe I should film them and share them with my friends at our next social gathering?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 05/10/2009 13:24

I promise you your family and friends will NOT want to share those special moments with you. If I was shown a video diary of anyone's pregnancy and birth I'd be amused, embarrassed and immediately run off to take the piss massively. It's not special, it's self indulgent and ridiculous.

Mamazon · 05/10/2009 13:24

fannyvision