Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to sell on things given to me by others?

43 replies

Astrid28 · 03/10/2009 16:56

Hello,

I am an anti-clutter freak and periodically sell bags of childrens clothes/toys etc on ebay.

DD is in a good position as a few of my friends have daughters a year or two older than her so we get alot of clothes handed down.

Once I've been through the bags and picked out what DD will or wont wear I'm usually left with a bag full of stuff.

I've just been adding these to my ebay bags - but it occurred to me today, the second time I've done it, that maybe I shouldn't.

What do you think?

OP posts:

Itsjustafleshwound · 03/10/2009 17:02

YANBU - the items are given to you with the express purpose that they are no longer needed and you are an easy target to get rid of things ...

However, I don't think I would ebay them and profit from their generosity - either I would split the proceeds from the sale or donate the items/cash to charity ..

preciouslillywhite · 03/10/2009 17:07

YABU- I think this is proper bad karma.

I'd stick it in a charity bag quick, before you get struck by lightning!

Original poster

Astrid28 · 03/10/2009 17:12

Hmmmm, I just add unwanted clothes to the bag as a habit really, I never considered it before.

One of them actually says to me to get rid of unwanted bits however I like as she doesn't want the stuff.

Maybe I should ask if they mind me selling it on?

OP posts:

crokky · 03/10/2009 17:13

I don't see anything wrong with it. I give my cousin's DD all my DD's old clothes (she's 1yr younger). I have no problem with her eBaying/charity shopping anything she doesn't want or indeed the whole lot if she has finished with it/doesn't want it. It's true that both parties benefit - I dispose of DD's old clothes in an ethical way and she gets free clothes for her DD if she wants them.

Original poster

Astrid28 · 03/10/2009 17:16

Eek! really preciouslilywhite? Is it really bad??

I've always done it with my own clothes as well and it's just something I do.

I also give DD's clothes (newer ones that I buy) to my friend with a younger girl - can that restore my karma?

OP posts:

preciouslillywhite · 03/10/2009 17:22

That puts a different slant on it.You have restored your karma balance with this generous act, Astrid

(loads of people dump stuff on us, and our house is tiny, so I share your pain. It's like they assume that we're desperate, because we've got twins, which evidently means we'll accept any old stuff )

Dizzyclarebear · 03/10/2009 17:31

hum, they probably think they are doing you a favour. Perhaps offer the stuff you don't want back to the people who've given it to you so they can e-bay it. Or offer to spilt the profit?

LIZS · 03/10/2009 17:32

I'd check with the person who gave them whether they'd like them back to decide what to do or if they mind. Personally I'd be peeved if something I gave for one reason was sold on by the recipient without my knowledge. You could ask if she minds and if she'd like a share of the proceeds , if only to give to a charity.

Original poster

Astrid28 · 03/10/2009 17:35

Phew!

Well same here, tiny house. If it's not being used/worn/read/watched or listened to - it's gotta go! Needless to say DH keeps himself busy.

OP posts:

Original poster

Astrid28 · 03/10/2009 17:36

No I will, I'll ask them if they mind and see what they say.

OP posts:

Tryharder · 03/10/2009 17:43

YAB a bit U but I have done this before(ebayed children's clothes that were given to me). My DH goes mental as he too believes it brings bad karma.

Someone gave us a children's bed a year or so ago which we recently replaced with bunk beds. I put the children's bed on ebay without thinking - had about 5 watchers within an hour of listing it - but my husband found out so made me take it off so it's stuck in our shed instead

I am just a bad/unethical person really - luckily DH keeps me on the straight and narrow

SolidGoldBrass · 03/10/2009 17:46

What's unethical about selling the stuff on Ebay? Lots of people use it to get nice things at low prices, so you are helping others by making it available to them.
I think all these people who are pathetically pious about it must have never been really broke.

muggglewump · 03/10/2009 17:50

YANBU.
If they are giving stuff to you as they no longer want it, then it's up to you what you do with it, and it's fine to sell it.

If they wanted the money, they should have sold it themselves.

Firawla · 03/10/2009 18:45

yanbu i think its fine, they can hardly expect you to just keep it in the cupboard or something,if its excess to requirements. you could just give it away but as you are selling on your own things on ebay it makes sense to do the lot together. buy them a small present to say thanks for giving all the clothes, that way you dont have to feel bad that you made money from it. some people are not bothered to sell on ebay anyway, if they wanted to do so they would have done it themselves rather than giving it away? maybe they are not desperate for the money and rather save themselves the work of listing, posting etc..

PeedOffWithNits · 03/10/2009 18:57

re : "if they wanted the money they could have sold it themselves"

I give away stuff, lots of it. I do not want or need the money but i DO want to GIVE the stuff to someone who needs it. i would be really annoyed if any friend I had passed something on to then sold it. It is ungrateful, and means it is NOT being freely given to the person who eventually benefits.

so, IMO, YABU

if you are GIVEN something you do not want or need, you should GIVE it away, not sell it - unless the money then goes to a charity of your choice

if the friend found out and did not approve they may choose to bypass you and freecycle or charity shop their stuff instead of let you have it

I have also given stuff to a friend who was doing a car boot when they were broke, but she did not ask i offered

edinburger · 03/10/2009 19:05

I sell any reasonable stuff that DS has grown out of.

THis will include stuff bought new by me, stuff bought in charity shops by me, stuff we received new as prsents and any handmedowns.

We don;t get many handmedowns as I was one of the first of my friends to have a baby (bad planning ) but I do sell a lot of stuff that was originally from the charity shop.

I don;t think too much about it, I do give some stuff to charity, but mainly sell DS's stuff.

So I think it is fine.

moomaa · 03/10/2009 19:13

I think YABU (but forgivable as you only just thought of it!).

I always re-pass on hand me downs, but might sell stuff bought by me, or given to me as presents. It's the whole karma thing, it makes such a difference to me when people give me bags of clothes and it is very kind and I want to do the same for others. I would be hurt if they sold it, but not if they passed it to a charity shop/freecycle/someone else.

SolidGoldBrass · 03/10/2009 19:55

Look, when you have given somebody something, it is up to them what they do with it. They can use it, sell it, worship it or wipe their arses on it and it's no longer any of your business.
And there is something very annoying and smug about telling other people to give to charity: it's up to them and they might need the money they get by selling unwanted items.

preciouslillywhite · 03/10/2009 20:04

yeah, but the OP didn't say she was skint/needed the money SolidGoldBrass

Of course there's always going to be mitigating circumstances. But unless I was on the absolute bones of me arse, I wouldn't feel comfortable selling something someone else had given me.

defineme · 03/10/2009 20:06

If you're really broke then needs must.
If you're not then it's bad form really- chuck it in a charity bag instead.
I could ebay stuff, but I don't because I like stuff that I've loved but no longer need to be used by friends, failing that I give them to charity.
I don't believe in karma, but I do believe in do as you would be done by.
I've given massive play equipment to friends when my kids grew out of it, it's lovely that they've passed it on to other friends now. If they ebayed it I'd be gutted unless they were about to lose their house or something.

IWantToLiveOnAFarm · 03/10/2009 20:06

I think it is fine. What isn't is people pleading poverty so you donate them some things and then they sell those on.

PlonkerCandleInAPumpkin · 03/10/2009 20:12

I always ask if they want their stuff back.

If they do, I take good care of it, keep it in the best condition I can and then hand it back.

If they don't, I take good care of it, keep it in the best condition I can and then hand it down myself, or sell it if there's no-one to hand it down to.

I really don't see the problem.

PlonkerCandleInAPumpkin · 03/10/2009 20:12

I always ask if they want their stuff back.

If they do, I take good care of it, keep it in the best condition I can and then hand it back.

If they don't, I take good care of it, keep it in the best condition I can and then hand it down myself, or sell it if there's no-one to hand it down to.

I really don't see the problem.

SolidGoldBrass · 03/10/2009 20:14

Look, if you're so desperate for your own unwanted stuff to go to charity, give it to a sodding charity yourself. Otherwise, mind your own business about what other people do with stuff that now belongs to them.

preciouslillywhite · 03/10/2009 20:18

ffs, it's an AIBU

...or have mn reclassified the topic "AIBUmindyourownfuckingbusiness"?

Flip

1 2