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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find baby language really annoying

72 replies

Lerato · 01/10/2009 13:01

I have always taught dd1 to say words properly eg dog, duck etc. Why to some people use doggy, ducky etc. I hate it!

OP posts:
colditz · 01/10/2009 13:07

Baby language is essential for brain development

HERE

paisleyleaf · 01/10/2009 13:11

yanbu I have a friend with a DD who I have minded occasionally. It's difficult as we don't speak the same language. I didn't know that yum-yums was food, or glug-glugs was drink.
It seems she has a whole load of new words to relearn now that she's a bit bigger now too.

ThePhantomPlopper · 01/10/2009 13:11

What colditz said.

CuppaTeaJanice · 01/10/2009 13:12

I find it really annoying when mums talk about themselves in the third person...

'Mummy wants you to do this'

It's I...I want you to do this

Why do they do it?

colditz · 01/10/2009 13:15

They do it because it is natural for primates to do it, and human mothers did it right up until the point at which men who had never raised children started interfering with child rearing.

Now some proper research has been done, and the phenomenon "Motherese" has been proven on several levels to be beneficial to a baby;s language acquirement and development.

Chimps do it, as do Bonobos. It is normal and natural and beneficial not to treat small children like adults. They aren't adults.

BiancaJackson · 01/10/2009 13:19

I'd read stuff about refrainign from baby talk being best with my first child, and was hot on using 'proper language' - and he has turned out to be an extremely articulate child.

But with my second child (my last baby )I do an awful lot of silly baby talk. It makes her laugh and she is soooo cute I can't resist

I have given up caring about what 'research says'...

MamaGoblin · 01/10/2009 13:20

Sorry, I don't see anything wrong in that - YAB a bit U. I wouldn't term 'doggy' baby language anyway - it's just a more childlike way of naming things. Thought you meant the 'izz ooo hungreee den ickle baba' stuff that some people come out with. But they'll soon stop saying doggy and say dog, so what's the problem?

DH has just backed up Colditz's link by saying yes, baby talk is generally viewed not just as beneficial, but as inevitable, as babies learn to talk and while they're looked after by caregivers. (DH works with people who do this sort of research.)

What gets on my tits is the awful singsong way my MIL talks to DS. She always 'talks' to him in an odd voice, can't really describe it, but she repeats everything she says to him with odd, random emphases - sort of: 'Oh well, are we going to put our shoes on? Our shoes yes, oh well, what a smart boy, shoes on, yes, let's put our shoes on' etc. Repeat until I want to brain her. [blush

paisleyleaf · 01/10/2009 13:21

I thought motherese was more about the sing song tone mother's use. Rather than all the made up words.
I know we all use it a bit. Well I know I do, like : whoopsie-daisy, But I do think some people are just silly with it.

Poshpaws · 01/10/2009 13:23

I agree with those that say it's important.

DS1 - spoke to him like an adult, now very articulate.

DS2 - started off the same, had/has speech/langauage issues, had to revert to Motherese to help his speech along so that he could understand basic sentences rather than potentially confusing adult type sentences.

It is ok for babies and children to be/act/speak like children, you know

marenmj · 01/10/2009 13:23

"I find it really annoying when mums talk about themselves in the third person..."

Sigh, until a baby has a well developed sense of 'self' vs 'not-self' (about 2 years old) personal pronouns make no sense to them. Things need names and if you refer to yourself as "I" that will be your name in a baby's eyes.

It's the same reason toddlers need to be taught "musn't do" over "that hurts mummy" because they are incapable of understanding that other people feel pain. The concept of empathy and the ability to use personal pronouns develop hand in hand because they are outgrowths of the same process.

marenmj · 01/10/2009 13:27

Oh, and the "ba-ba gug-gug" people who use thoroughly made up words should be brained.

If I understand what my toddler is trying to say than I should repeat the proper word back.

This does not prevent me from playing an "echo" game with DD (9 months) when walking around the shops looking for all the world completely mad

Original poster
Lerato · 01/10/2009 14:06

I have nothing against motherese - definitely used when my dcs were babies. But do you need to refer to a doggy with a 3 year old? The word is dog. DD1 is not that articulate, mind. Can't say v and has now dropped her t as well. But she can say dog.

OP posts:
colabottlefizzy · 01/10/2009 14:11

I really don't like, I can bear the odd word but not whole conversations. I can't see the point in teaching them the wrong words for things. Also I may be a bit immature but when mil talks about stroking her pussy I just want to crack up.

LittleOneMum · 01/10/2009 14:49

I hate the 'bay-bee ga-ga' crowd but I can't really see the problem with 'doggy', 'milky' etc.

I have a very articulate 2 yo DS who says things like "Mummy, I'm very tired now. Can I go to sleepy-sleeps?" and it is just dead cute. and he loves his 'doggy' too.

Fairynufff · 01/10/2009 14:58

My SIL is just like you:

My mother to 3 yr old DN: Look at that lovely Koala Bear
SIL: (irritated) No darling - granny's got it wrong - it's not a bear, it's a marsupial.

Thereby chipping away at another piece of the valuable bond between her child and another adult. Charmless.

inthesticks · 01/10/2009 15:26

Don't mind baby speak but I have a friend who speaks to 10year olds in a slightly high pitched sing song tone which makes me and the children cringe.

beaniesinthebucketagain · 01/10/2009 16:41

yabu, i know 'motherese' is improtant

BUT

I hate doggy ducky or worse wack wacks????

My son has alot of speech problems but he sayes DUCK DOG CAT no need for the y's on the end!

Eyeballls · 01/10/2009 16:47

I think when we had this debate before it was said that putting a y on the end of words did serve a purpose, which was to emphasise the letter before the y. For example dd has milkies (ok not a great example as is plural but you know what I mean!). If I said milk then the k wouldn't be as obvious as it is in milkies.

I think there must be something in the fact that I do it with some words and not others so some words need more emphasis than others. Also, I didn't set out to do this, it comes completely naturally. Therefore, I believe it is something we are programmed to do and it's not just done to annoy the likes of you

herjazz · 01/10/2009 16:57

what eyeballs said is correct - children generally learn the the 1ts bit of the word - so their early language would be 'doh' for dog. Saying doddy just reinforces the end of the word - the g sound. So yr more likely to get to dog quicker by teaching doggy

I refer to myself in 3rd person when talking to my young dc - that's cos my 1st has ld etc etc. Its a good way of reinforcing my identity to her. I sign it as well as saying it. 'I' is far more abstract concept to understand.

YABU if this gets on yr nerves - fairynuff if you don't want to speak like it yrself

herjazz · 01/10/2009 16:58

saying doddy wouldn't be much cop tho ;)

colabottlefizzy · 01/10/2009 18:01

But Fairybuff thats a bot of an extreame case. Surely its different calling a koala bear just that (when probably 99% of people do) and a dog a woof woof which nobody over a certain age does. Thats not chipping away at any bond.

Fairynufff · 01/10/2009 18:13

Cola - I've never known a child learn 'woof woof' and then not to progress to 'dog' by the time they learn their alphabet. It may well be irritating to an adult ear - I don't know how a new generation of parents can stomach the nonsense that is 'In the night garden' etc. etc. but it goes with the spangly, messy, illiterate, repetitive world of babies and toddlers. I nearly went off the rails when I was stuck at home with my young children because the 'annoying' aspects of it grated so much it sent me a bit doolally. In retrospect though - it probably is a developmental thing and moo-cow, chuff chuff, nee nah isn't going to kill them and may well help their cognitive processes (although it WILL regress the mother's! )

pranma · 01/10/2009 18:16

Me to dgd then aged 2.5
'Do you want to feed the duckies R?'
'They aren't duckies pranma,they are mallards!!'
I felt both proud and a bit sad to be honest.

Tee2072 · 01/10/2009 18:27

I don't get the objection to saying 'mummy wants you to do blah blah blah'. How else do they learn to call you mummy?

CuppaTeaJanice · 02/10/2009 11:11

They learn by other people referring to you as Mummy - eg. 'Go over there and give Mummy a kiss'.

How are they going to learn the concept of self and otherness if they're not taught correctly from the start?