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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have no time for people who make a drama about spiders and other such phobias?

44 replies

notanumber · 30/09/2009 12:15

Before I begin my rant musings, I'd like to make it clear that I'm not denying that people have genuine phobias about all kinds of stuff. For the record, I have a bit of a phobia about vomit for example, and I always get a bit panicky when leaving bars late at night in case someone is pissed and likely to hurl in the tube or at my feet or something.

What really gets my goat is women - and it is nearly always women - who make the most enormous song and dance over their phobia.

Let's take spiders. One comes up in conversation. The drama queen phobic starts shrieking and and sticking her fingers in her ear and theatrically shuddering. She demands that no-one ever mentions spiders in presence again. Oh, and actually, can we not call them spiders anymore? Lets all call them scoobies or somesuch nonsense so that she never even has to hear the word.

I mean, get over it people. Okay, so you don't like them. Say sensibly, like the adult you are, "you know, I'm really quite phobic about spiders. Could we talk about something else?".

It just comes across to me as the worst kind of affrected girlie helplessness; "ooh look at delicate fragile little me with my high heels and boobies. Boo hoo! I'm fwightened of the big bad scoobie ! Please look after me and rescue me you big strong man you"

Why can't these women behave sensibly and with some dignity? It drives me mental. AIBU?

OP posts:
nancy75 · 30/09/2009 12:17

i agree totally. i do have quite a nasty spider/bug phobia however just saying the word doesn't send me screaming out of the house!

MichKit · 30/09/2009 12:20

Same here... I truly dislike and am very frightened of caterpillars, but don't make a song and dance of it. Though was not very happy about that stupid 'Hungry Caterpillar' book... gives me the creeps every time I have to read to DD

OrmIrian · 30/09/2009 12:22

Snort!

I think I agree with you but you may get a thumping you know....

MrsVik · 30/09/2009 12:23

Hehe!

I'm terrified of scoob.. erm, spiders in the extreme! But, yeah, I can tolerate people talking about them without feeling the need to turn into a complete idiot.

Dumbledoresgirl · 30/09/2009 12:27

I came on here to defend phobics as I have a severe vomit phobia, but I actually find myself agreeing with you notanumber. You are absolutely right, it is ludicrous behaviour. I can stand and discuss vomit with people if that is what is required. I have to say it would privately unsettle me if I felt there was a bug around that I or my children might catch, but if we are just talking in general terms about vomiting, I can handle that no problem. As part of my phobia, I actually find I go the opposite way and am a bit obsessed with the topic. I don't understand people who have to substitute their phobic focus with another word either.

But I guess phobias are irrational and do lead to all sorts of irrational behaviour...

junkcollector · 30/09/2009 12:52

Can't see what's wrong with people expressing their emotions in an exuberant way TBH (girlie helplessness or otherwise). The world would be a very boring place if people went about discussing things in a sensible fashion all the time. Mumsnet wouldn't exist for a start.

Toady · 30/09/2009 12:54

Sounds like she is a bit of a drama queen, saying that RATS (any type of rodent) is my phobia, and even typing the name therefore thinking about them makes me feel a bit queer and shuddery, in fact my heart is racing a bit but I would not scream hysterically and stick my fingers in my ears just look a bit ill. If i do see one I physically shake, stick my fingers in my ears and close my eyes and run, it is really something I find very hard to control.

McSnail · 30/09/2009 13:02

YANBU.

I always think, 'Grow up!' when someone does that. Now, if they went all pale and quiet, I'd have sympathy because it seems more of a genuine reaction... as opposed to the teenage style drama freak-out.

GrendelsMum · 30/09/2009 13:03

But isn't the real problem that you feel she's behaving in a silly and affected way to get attention, not that it's about spiders?

twirlymum · 30/09/2009 13:05

I have a terrible fear of moths, but I try really hard not to let it show in front of my dc's as I don't want them to be scared of them (such a pathetic phobia too, they don't bite or sting, they just.......flap their disgusting moth-dust covered wings and have hairy bodies Aaaaaaaagh)

I know exactly what you mean, it's toe-curlingly embarrassing to hear from grown women.

Although my cousin did faint once after seeing someone being given an injection on tv...

itsmeolord · 30/09/2009 13:05

YANBU.

Genuine phobia, no problem at all and have sympathy.
Screaming jumping around making a spectacle of themselves and generally getting on my tits on the other hand is just irritating.

sugardumpling · 30/09/2009 13:11

My mum has a HUGE phobia of rats and mice too she can't even look at a picture of one! Remember we were out once and one scurried past us, she just stood there frozen to the spot screaming her head off! I found it rather amusing and quite embarrasing, but I suppose cos I don't mind them I just don't get it, Cockroaches however are a totally different story.....

Simplistica · 30/09/2009 13:12

I've been known to faint at the sight of a child'sdrawing of my biggest phobia (I have two), that also happned when we were drving in the levels and one wriggled it's2 metre long body across the road; I locked up and screamed- no thought, all involuntary. Note I can't even type the name of the creature. That'sfairly significant I think, and something I do arrnage my life to avoid- teachers at school know for example not to send related books home, though I dont tell teh children as I dont want them to know.

I also have a phobia of telephones, or rather making calls. I know there are tohers on here with the same and it is quite difficult I think, e-mails save my arse many a time.

But I have the severe level of phovia and I think that's rare and for me related to other things; I also am a bit scared of some thing but heck, there's a difference.

ParisFrog · 30/09/2009 13:19

Slightly off topic.

I remember when I was 9 and had got a hamster for Christmas and I was so proud that when my mum's friends came round I got the hamster out to show them...and put it on my mum's friend's shoulder as a surprise...

Yup you guesed it, rodent phobia!!!

catinthehat2 · 30/09/2009 13:19

"I have a terrible fear of moths, but I try really hard not to let it show in front of my dc's"

is however the diametric opposite and I do have a great deal of time for that. (None at all for squealy flappy people)

JackBauer · 30/09/2009 13:20

'ooh look at delicate fragile little me with my high heels and boobies. Boo hoo!'

yanbu by the way. I have a deathly fear of slugs so I do understand freaking out at things but there is a way to do it IMO.

MadreInglese · 30/09/2009 13:22

LOL

Reminds me of the time I came home to find my two male flatmates stood on the sofa clinging to each other and waving a large broom about and squealing like girls because there was a spider under the table

JackBauer · 30/09/2009 13:26

Simplistica, I think you sound quite sensible though, you are making an involuntary response to your phobia, which is one thing, but to actively screech and call attention to yourself is another entirely, and I think what the OP means.

katiestar · 30/09/2009 13:29

Well adrenalin can cause either of those reactions.Pale and shakey or screaming so yes YABU

groundhogs · 30/09/2009 13:29

My mum has a massive fear of Bats... My dad Snakes. Halloween was somewhat of a non event in our house, ha ha.

This is the time of year my poor mum dreads, and we do keep an eye out on her behalf, to steer her off in alternative directions if need be. She will yelp, squawk and run away if in a shop or what have you, but she can stand a conversation about them.

LOL, sure we as kids were not overly fond of them, but it hasn't scarred us emotionally or anything.

If I were you, the comment Ah FGS, Get OVER yourself would immediately spring to mind when dealing with your arachnid phobe.

ElaineFiggis · 30/09/2009 13:30

um

YABU I'm afraid, amusing though you are about it

I have a powerful phobia, not spiders, but if someone mentions the word it conjures up a series of images in my mind which distress me and can actually make me feel sick and dizzy

I have to avoid certain places and certain films etc because if I catch sight of or hear mention of my phobia it ruins my whole day and gives me nightmares

and I am not a wussy shrieky type at all - no high heels and no boobies to speak of

just a very strong phobia that blights my life

be thankful you haven't got one

groundhogs · 30/09/2009 13:31

Oh yeah, and I read some other thread the other day, God knows where, but it said that the 'S' word itself is banned from entire Mumsnet site, and the word loofah to be used instead....

Am i right, or did I fall for something?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 30/09/2009 13:39

I read that grounhogs.
YANBU actually, the hysterical silliness is very annoying. I have a mild phobia of certain types of spider but I can say the word without shuddering. However, I have a severe phobia of certain types of holes (trypophobia) and just thinking about it is making me feel nauseous and faint. If someone started describing one to me I wouldn't be able to participate in the conversation but I wouldn't make a big silly fuss about it, although to someone without this phobia it must seem very silly.

starwhores · 30/09/2009 13:42

I am very very phobic of spiders, but I can look at a picture and peer (not closely) through a glass tank at one at the zoo. If there is one in my house and DH wasn't there I would leave. I do scream and shake if I see a big house spider, but stamp on smaller ones.

Simplistica · 30/09/2009 13:48

''ooh look at delicate fragile little me with my high heels and boobies. Boo hoo!'
' I so wish I was really like that LOL- at elast i'd have an excuse!.

groundhog said the S (refereed to as nalety in this house as closest I can get) word and I felt nauseous.

I know its patheric though, and I do try not to do the annoying squealy thing. A quick retreat is best though many rmember the zoo trip at school where SENCO said 'Oh they all came back with a gift' I said 'As long as its not...' she laughed, I alked around corner to be faced with 100 chdilren carrying toy things and was rootd against the wall in fear

It's related to confidence etc- if my confidence s high I have been able to share a room with the thing at work if not looking, when low I am totally unable to process the name.

I do know its stupid though.