to think that however repulsive and bullying a 12 year old is...

[seeker]

.....people shouldn't use language like "little shit" and 'wankstain" to describe what is, however hideously behaved, a child?

Shiney. Spot on.

So if a 17 year old comes up and punches me in the face in the street I would be wrong to call him a little shit because something bad could be going on in his life?

Give him a lovely old healing kiss.

Name calling is NOT discipline. It is just plain wrong. IMO.

I may have missed something, but I don't see how talking about a child in the third person as a 'little shit' or whatever is a bad thing.

It's language that recognises that children should be expected to behave like decent human beings and that by being violent bullies/whatever, they are acting in a way that is BAD.

It's unequivocal language - no excuses for this behaviour.

I love plain wrong. Can things be fancy wrong?

i'm afraid i think this thread is aimed at me, and i will back down and say sorry, but i hate bully's my son was bullied for years and was punched, kicked and cried himslef to sleep every night WS is a horrible term but i dont take back little shits.

I totally agree!

It offends me so completely that I have asked MN to remove threads where this has been in the OP before. The one that was removed last was someone slagging off their 11 year old, calling them a tw*t even though she knew he knew her nickname and had read her MN posts in the past.

I think you'll often find that the bullies you refer to as little s*ts etc are already been called such esteem-raising names at home. Vicious circle isn't it?

I'm with you Sunshines, I'd call em worse.

Totally agree with what thesecondcoming said too . Adults are supposed to lead by example. As an adult you should be able to control yourself well enough not to use language like that about other people - particularly children. I can't see any advantage in it, but several disadvantages, so I'm unsure why anyone would persist in asserting that they wanted to behave like this.

I have been teaching now for about 7 years and have never met a child who is a serious bully who does not have real problems at home or something similar. I am not saying they don't need to be disciplined, they do, but they do need to be understood.

well, sometimes it makes you angry that bullies get away with it, and you have to walk past these children(laughing) everyday and not utter a word, even though you have had to comfort your child to sleep every night, kinda makes you angry.

If somebody treated my kids that way I would have no compunction about wringing the little shits' necks. Then I'd offer psychotherapy.

i'm sorry but "problems at home" really doesnt cut, when your child is sobbing his heart out.

i'm sure i am not the only one that feels this way.

someguy - calling anyone a 'little shit' is not saying anything at all about their behaviour, it is expressing that you have decided who they are.

e.g. 'She's such a little shit' - judgement about the person.

'The way she behaved was really shitty' - judgement about the behaviour of the person.

Even if you insist on using foul language there's still a massive difference between the two.

Problems at home often means they are going home to an adult who is treating them as a punch bag, they are being sexually abused, they are being passed around whatever random adult will look after them for a few days, a parent or guardian has died, their parents are in prison....... all scenarios I have dealt with.

Being understandably angry doesn't mean you don't understand

Good point morosky, and most people know that there's always a history to bullying behaviour in the childs background, but when you have your 'mums hat' on, it's not the first thing that comes into your head.

Hopefully, you can think/anon post on MN that they're a little shit, and act in RL in a way that's a bit more measured/understanding.

Damn right you're not Thesunshinesbrightly!

And as for the 12 year olds who are making my DD2's life absolute hell at school, from physical abuse, stealing from her, damage to her belongings and verbal abuse, well I have some verbal abuse of my own in return....

They ARE little shits and all the other names under the sun and just because they are 12 and not 21 is no excuse for their behaviour.

I was abused too but was and am not a bully.

yes valhala makes your blood boil

valhala and thesunshinesbrightly - Just because you are upset as a parent is not an excuse for behaving badly either. I would judge an adult hurling abuse at a horribly behaved child much more harshly than the horribly behaved child.

A much better way of helping your children to move forward and not feel so desperately upset at bullying is trying to get them to understand that it is normally sad people who bully others, IMO anyway. It helps children to see that it is not their fault that they are being picked on. Externalise rather than internalise - much more healthy.

what i meant was, i wasnt a bully when i was younger and i am not a bully now,and i was abused when i was little.

Well you clearly are a very strong person sunshine. We all deal with things in different ways.

I am not saying bullies are right, they need defending or excusing just that we need to enforce informed understanding discipline.