to think that 'counselling' in any of its myriad guises is by and large a bloody waste of time?

[moondog]

At best a self-indulgence, at worst positively damaging.

I don't see how being helped to find better ways to deal with things that are troubling you as "self-indulgent" in the least. What would be your preferred alternative?

I think the op is too vague to discuss particularly meaningfully. It's a bit like saying (imo)

AIBU to think that operations in all their myriad of disguises are by and large a bloody waste of time?

People can then come and say for example that their great Aunt Aggie had a hip replacement and died, therefore the OP is NBU Someone else will say "well uncle Fred had one and subsequently ran a marathon"

Would not deny usefulness or documented clinical effectiveness of ACT but the whingy I've got all I need but feel so unfulfilled type with some random woman in dangly earrings in a suburban living room really grates.

I'd sooner blanket stitch my labia together.

You are talking shit and you know it

Moondog - why do you have such a negative view of counselling? Have you had personal experience of it?

I think the millions of people who have had the need to go for counseling might take slight offence to your term of 'self indulgent'. Not when you want to kill yourself / don't know where to turn or what to do / feel like you're in a black hole it's not. Hmmm, I'm feeling confused, upset, suicidal, lonely, despairing. I know, I'll go for a spot of SELF INDULGENCE, a nice luxury of some counseling!

I am also highly wary of counselling, as had a dreadful experience of counselling when PG and suffering badly with OCD/Depression. (because I was PG, the GP refused meds and decided I didn't need a psych referral, which is how I ended up with counselling). the counsellor 's wholly inappropriate treatment was inner child therapy and encouraging me to hug my five year old self . Apparently he didn't believe in ADs . I have heard since that counsellors are trained to believe that approaches other than CBT are beneficial to people with OCD . I have a suspicion that counselling works best when merely talking through a problem to a sympathetic impartial ear is enough to help.

YABU, we have just suffered though a pretty traumatic time with DH and depression, and, without being melodramatic, counselling and CBT is what kept him alive and got him through this. Its been invaluable for me too, as I suffer quite a lot from sexual anxiety, and its helped keep my relationship with DH intact.

Without counselling we would have split up and worse!

laweaselmys I agree.

(and also - slight hijack - earlier tonight on my thread you did the equivalent of having a virtual cuppa and chat with me and it was very comforting)

Moondog: On the contrary, DH and I once had couple's counselling with a mad woman with dangling earrings in surburban house, and we bonded over how godawful she was at the end of every session.

So even that was useful.

'inner child therapy'

OMFG
I would love to see the evidence for such an approach.

at MP.
Did she have a cheese plant and an IKEA sofa?

I'm also a mental health nurse and unsuprisingly agree with onepieceoflollipop. I think that to dismiss counselling entirely is short sighted and misinformed. I do believe that there needs to be more regulation around who can call themselves a counsellor.

Also, of course you are talking about mental health and illness, people who go to counselling are trying to improve their levels of mental health aren't they?

I aspire to be a madwoman with dangling earrings.

In fact, thinking about it, that's my image of quite a few mumsnetters.

Am always surprised and perplexed by photos.

goodness me, that site makes ACT sound like pure shite

'inner child therapy' is generally looking at your childhood and trying to put back together people who were very broken in their childhoods - how is that so "OMFG" ?

It is a topic I muse on often Sal.
People seem to thnk it will solve everything and for many I think it involves absolving themselves from doing anything about a situation that makes them dissatisfied.

I generally don't like the talk approach.
I prefer action.

Meself.

lmao at "blanket stitch my labia"

STOP IT moondog!

HerBeatitude I know what you mean re the photos. There are some gorgeous mners among us. with no dodgy earrings in sight (well not on the profile pics anyway)

NightShoe , I agree.

Having the wrong therapist is like having sex with the wrong person, it's just awful.

However I have had good experiences too and for me it has been life-changing.

" At best a self-indulgence, at worst positively damaging" is totally wrong. It can literally be a life-saver for people too miserable and desperate to continue as they are.

I think YABU and also very dismissive of people with mental health issues who rely on this kind of therapy.

There was definitely a cheeseplant. Also lots of worrying "ethnic" things, perhaps even drums (!) and no television. DH and I went for about 12 weeks and would piss ourselves on the way home every time, even though we'd barely spoken all week.

Its not just about finding the right councellor - it is also about being in the right frame of mind.

Speaking from experience, if a person is sceptical about it then it wont be beneficial.

I was so negative and sceptical about my councelling sessions that I really started to resent the councellor and the whole councelling service. To me, my councellor seemed bored and unhelpful but I think I am looking for problems as I truly do believe that councelling is just not for me.

Maybe a "good" councellor would have picked up on that and I may have had more success, but that experience put me off.

I am open to and looking for suggestions of alternatives though.

Having sex with the wrong person isn't THAT awful, hairymelons...

"Counselling" as a catch all term is hugely problematic.
Counselling, as opposed to psychotherapy, has been shown to be largely ineffective for clincial depression (note 'clinical depression' not 'oh I'm really depressed today' depression), partly as counselling encourages people to express how they feel and the counsellor then validates this, so if you're feeling depressed and someone does this then yeah you'll probabaly still feel depressed after.
However, short term structured types of psychotherapy can be very effective for clincial depression.

LMAO Morning once again.

(A propos of nothing very much I recently spent an entire evening at a work do with a bloke with a goatee who told me a lot about his tabla playing.)