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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think getting the kids out of bed to pick up DH isn't on?

99 replies

gloriagloria · 15/09/2009 19:49

Not a huge problem in the cosmic scheme of things but wanted opinions as DH is not usually particularly unreasonable. DH is due to meet up with friends next week a train ride away. I'm very happy for him to do this, but he's asked that I pick him up at the station so he can drink (alternative would be to take car to station). This would mean getting my two DSs (age 2 and 3) out of bed at about 11 (when they've been in bed for 4 hours), bundling them in the car. It's only a short drive but it's the disruption to them I feel is unacceptable. I've done it before in emergencies (i.e. trains not running etc) but feel that having a few beers doesn't really justify it. He got uncharacteristically shirty when I objected and said as it doesn't happen often I shouldn't make such a deal of it. He's certainly not a heavy drinker and rarely goes out, but he is adamant that when you go for a drink with blokes you can't not drink which is what I do when I go out.
A taxi's not an option where we live by the way.
So opinions please. Is he being a bit selfish, or am being a bit unreasonable as it's a one-off?

OP posts:
CarGirl · 15/09/2009 19:51

can he leave his bike at the station?

Boys2mam · 15/09/2009 19:51

He is def BU. Taking kids out of bed age 2 and 3 at 11pm. Nope, not a cat in hells chance.

thisisyesterday · 15/09/2009 19:52

erm no, i would not do that!!!

can i ask why taxi isn't an option? is there not a friend who could drop him back? if it's not that far can he not walk?

colditz · 15/09/2009 19:53

YANBU

RealityIsNOTDetoxing · 15/09/2009 19:53

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ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 15/09/2009 19:53

No way Jose. He needs to get a bike.

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 15/09/2009 19:54

YANBU

I would refuse but then DH wouldn't ask me to do it.

vinblanc · 15/09/2009 19:54

I've done this plenty of times for DH. I don't think it is particularly unreasonable.

If he is going out with your blessing, it would be very unfortunate to be lumbered with the car.

CarGirl · 15/09/2009 19:54

how far is it, my dh has walked an hour to get home before, we couldn't afford the taxi fare.

BitOfFun · 15/09/2009 19:56

I'd suggest he pleads with some friend's or neighbours to sit for the kids for the 20 minutes or whatever.

thisisyesterday · 15/09/2009 19:56

um, to those suggesting a bike, i believe that drinking and cycling is also a no-no

RealityIsNOTDetoxing · 15/09/2009 19:56

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florence2511 · 15/09/2009 19:56

I agree with Reality. If it really is a one off then it isn't going to hurt.

They'll probably fall back to sleep in the car and then you can transfer them back to their bed and hopefully they wont wake up.

choosyfloosy · 15/09/2009 19:56

I would agree to pick dh up in this scenario, but I'd get a babysitter. But then I'd do ANYTHING to get dh to go out more.

danthe4th · 15/09/2009 19:56

Push bike or walk, can't believe he is actually expecting you to get the children up.

Goblinchild · 15/09/2009 19:56

My OH walks 4 miles a day to the station and back. How far is it for your OH, and maybe his hangover won't be as severe if he has a nice stroll after his piss-up.
No, I wouldn't get them out of bed, either he'd walk or take a sleeping bag with him.

IrishDraught · 15/09/2009 19:57

If it's rare I don't think it's unreasonable. I am going out next month (first time since the same event 2 years ago) and DH will be picking me up 3 & 1 year old in the car.

bigchris · 15/09/2009 19:57

yanbu
not fair on you or the kids

Harimosmummy · 15/09/2009 19:57

taxi, bike or walk....

i def wouldn't get my kids out of bed for this and i probably would be in bed myself.

hatesponge · 15/09/2009 19:57

Tell him to get a taxi - or walk home if he hasn't got enough money left at the end of the night.

Goblinchild · 15/09/2009 19:57

Oh, and you're right. Drinking and riding a bike is against the law...

CarGirl · 15/09/2009 19:57

He didn't say pissed he said a few drinks! I ride my bike in the evening on quiet roads after half a bottle of wine (with food) I certainly wouldn't drive a car after that!

If he's going out to get completely pissed I certainly wouldn't go and collect him.

hottiebear · 15/09/2009 19:58

can he not kip on one of his friends sofa?

arcticlemming · 15/09/2009 19:58

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Harimosmummy · 15/09/2009 19:59

ok... if (genuinly) none of those is an option and he doesn't go out very much, then yes, I'd probably pick him up.

Just as a one off.

And ONLY if there really were no other option.

I don't go out at all much, but if I did have a night out, I'd probably like to have a drink....