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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think getting the kids out of bed to pick up DH isn't on?

99 replies

gloriagloria · 15/09/2009 19:49

Not a huge problem in the cosmic scheme of things but wanted opinions as DH is not usually particularly unreasonable. DH is due to meet up with friends next week a train ride away. I'm very happy for him to do this, but he's asked that I pick him up at the station so he can drink (alternative would be to take car to station). This would mean getting my two DSs (age 2 and 3) out of bed at about 11 (when they've been in bed for 4 hours), bundling them in the car. It's only a short drive but it's the disruption to them I feel is unacceptable. I've done it before in emergencies (i.e. trains not running etc) but feel that having a few beers doesn't really justify it. He got uncharacteristically shirty when I objected and said as it doesn't happen often I shouldn't make such a deal of it. He's certainly not a heavy drinker and rarely goes out, but he is adamant that when you go for a drink with blokes you can't not drink which is what I do when I go out.
A taxi's not an option where we live by the way.
So opinions please. Is he being a bit selfish, or am being a bit unreasonable as it's a one-off?

OP posts:

Georgimama · 15/09/2009 20:36

See. That's what she said.
Seriously, name changing OP, why can't he pre-book a taxi from the closer station? There aren't any railway stations so far away from civilisation that no taxi would be prepared to venture there. Honestly. Beeching closed them all.

Tell me the name of the station and I will find you a taxi company.

Original poster

gloriagloria · 15/09/2009 20:37

As I said it's the cost - £30 is prebooked - homest! We've done it before.

OP posts:

Original poster

gloriagloria · 15/09/2009 20:38

Honest even!

OP posts:

AnAuntieNotAMum · 15/09/2009 20:39

The thing about having to drink. No, he wants to drink. Maybe he doesn't want to face a bit of ribbing about staying off the beers or he actually wants to get tipsy cos he enjoys it or it's boring to be sober when everyone else is merry.

As to people saying it's ok to bike and drink. You are deluded and dangerous! I was involved in an accident involving a drunk cyclist once. His reactions were slowed because he'd been drinking. He was prosecuted and fined but that's by the by, he risked his life and endagered others.

ravenAK · 15/09/2009 20:40

Most taxis charge 'pick up to drop' though.

Obviously not a massive profit for them, but you might then use them if you need an airport run, so most lots of cab firms will do pre-booked rural journeys. Maybe they'd want a bit more than usual mileage from local station, but negotiable somewhere between there & fare from big town.

Has he 'phoned for a quote?

millenniumfalcon · 15/09/2009 20:40

why can't he walk?

pinkteddy · 15/09/2009 20:40

£30 for 3 miles? That's £10 a mile!

Georgimama · 15/09/2009 20:40

No it's 30 quid from the further away station. I don't believe no taxi will come to the closer station. It will not cost 30 quid to get a taxi 3 miles.

Original poster

gloriagloria · 15/09/2009 20:42

He could physically walk, but doens't want to in the dead of night on unlit rural roads. Knowing the road I can sort of see his point to a degree.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 15/09/2009 20:43

YANBU.

If it were for something like collecting him from work, or an out of hours appointment or hozzie, yeah, but not for that.

Original poster

gloriagloria · 15/09/2009 20:43

I'll ring round some more taxis to see if I can get anything cheaper, but won't hold my breath as there's abit of a shortage in the local town so they're not exactly touting for business

OP posts:

HeadFairy · 15/09/2009 20:45

Nah, still wouldn't wash with me, wear something bright, a cycle jacket or something and walk. the only option in my book (or not drinking I suppose!)

SomeGuy · 15/09/2009 20:59

Is it Micheldever station by any chance?

lucykate · 15/09/2009 21:04

could your dh not go home with one of the friends he's meeting up with and stay the night?. you could pick him up the following morning.

thesecondcoming · 15/09/2009 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog · 15/09/2009 21:04

I would do this happily for my dh if it was an occasional thing. As he would for me.Strangely enough, i encourage him to have a good time.

dogonpoints · 15/09/2009 21:06

Get him to sort out a taxi. How much does he think he'll spend on drink? What does he drink? Drink less or cheaper. Or he forks out for a taxi and accepts that's the deal.

Original poster

gloriagloria · 15/09/2009 21:06

Someguyt - it's not Micheldever but you're in the right county

OP posts:

Georgimama · 15/09/2009 21:07

I think we all encourage our husbands to have a good time, there's just no good reason to drag 2 small children out of bed to pick a grown adult up who should be capable of making their own way home, or as lucy says, dossing at a mate's for the night.

Original poster

gloriagloria · 15/09/2009 21:14

Thanks for all the responses - I've never had such a popular thread and am amazed at the interest in my predicament! It was a genuine "AIBU" as I wasn't sure if I was or not (still am not to be honest!). Think I'll push the taxi option.

OP posts:

thesecondcoming · 15/09/2009 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

redsky · 15/09/2009 21:15

I'd leave the dcs in bed, and get dh - but I'm a crap parent.

Cheepz · 15/09/2009 21:18

for what its worth if its a one off / rare occurance I wouldn't mind getting kids out of bed to collect, its not like its twice a week or even once a month by the sounds of things so why not - kids are either going to be oblivious or enjoy the exciting outing. lifes too short.

have also lived somewhere remote from even small station and to prebook taxis from that station still cost a fortune as you had to pay them to get there and back from wherever located on top of fare so costs as much as coming from nearest big town

EightiesChick · 15/09/2009 21:32

I do see the point that it's unlikely to be a big problem and is a one off, but still.. I don't like the 'he's not prepared to spend £30 on a taxi', because if the alternative is not being able to go, or not being able to drink, what would he say about it then? What he means is, he's not prepared to go to any trouble because he expects you to go to the trouble on his behalf for his night out. As others have said, why not stay over at one of the other blokes' houses?

I also think it sounds like the kind of situation where, if I were the OP and I hadn't been asked, I might well have offered to do this, for a one-off. But it sounds like he has harangued about it and been huffy when the OP has expressed doubts or raised alternative ways of doing things. That would probably make me dig my heels in and refuse to shift myself or the kids!

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