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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think getting the kids out of bed to pick up DH isn't on?

99 replies

gloriagloria · 15/09/2009 19:49

Not a huge problem in the cosmic scheme of things but wanted opinions as DH is not usually particularly unreasonable. DH is due to meet up with friends next week a train ride away. I'm very happy for him to do this, but he's asked that I pick him up at the station so he can drink (alternative would be to take car to station). This would mean getting my two DSs (age 2 and 3) out of bed at about 11 (when they've been in bed for 4 hours), bundling them in the car. It's only a short drive but it's the disruption to them I feel is unacceptable. I've done it before in emergencies (i.e. trains not running etc) but feel that having a few beers doesn't really justify it. He got uncharacteristically shirty when I objected and said as it doesn't happen often I shouldn't make such a deal of it. He's certainly not a heavy drinker and rarely goes out, but he is adamant that when you go for a drink with blokes you can't not drink which is what I do when I go out.
A taxi's not an option where we live by the way.
So opinions please. Is he being a bit selfish, or am being a bit unreasonable as it's a one-off?

OP posts:
arcticlemming · 15/09/2009 20:01

Babysitting a good idea but not an option for us as relatively new to the area and have no friends I could ask a favour of.

FfreckleFface · 15/09/2009 20:01

YAB a bit U. I've done it for Bloke, and he's done it for me.

If it's a one off I'm not surprised he's annoyed at your refusal to get them up.

allaboutme · 15/09/2009 20:02

i'd rather order in a tax from 10 miles away than get the kids up.
i just wouldnt do it and dh would NEVER ask.

bigchris · 15/09/2009 20:02

irishdraught - why cant you get a taxi?

Smithagain · 15/09/2009 20:03

Am astonished how many people think that drinking and cycling is OK. You need to be alert when cycling, especially at night. Why would it be OK to cycle if it isn't to drive ?

Quite honestly, in those circs, I'd either expect him to phone and book a taxi and factor the cost into the night out - or resign himself to not drinking. It wouldn't occur to me to drag sleeping kids out of bed unless in dire emergency.

thisisyesterday · 15/09/2009 20:03

cargirl, if u drink eniugh to be over the limnit in a car u are also over the limit on a bike!! it's nodifferent

BitOfFun · 15/09/2009 20:03

There must be neighbours though, surely? It might be a nice way to break the ice, and you could get them a bottle of wine to say thanks.

Georgimama · 15/09/2009 20:03

I'm sure a taxi is an option. I live in the sticks too and I could get a taxi to pick me up from a train station and bring me home. It would cost but it is perfectly possible.

CarGirl · 15/09/2009 20:03

Issue for me would be 2 ratty dc the next day, me tired & ratty and a hungover dh do nothing to help

Can he stay over at anyone elses place?

BitOfFun · 15/09/2009 20:04

Where are these god-forsaken places anyway, and why do people live in them?

thisisyesterday · 15/09/2009 20:05

could he book a taxi in advance?
or ring one when on way back so it's there when train gets in?

JackBauer · 15/09/2009 20:07

I've done it for DH before, in the middle of winter when he was freezing at the taxi rank.
DD2 slept through the whole thing wrapped in a blanket in the car and DD1 thought it was the best adventure ever.
So I think YAB a bit U, it won't harm them, and they might not even wake up.

SomeGuy · 15/09/2009 20:07

How far is the station? My wife asks me to pick her up when she's been out sometimes, and I just leave the children (7 and 2) in bed for the duration (about 1 mile each way).

Drinking and cycling isn't the same as drinking and driving, FWIW.

SomeGuy · 15/09/2009 20:08

OP says it's a short drive, I would just leave them in bed. The house is not going to burn down while you're out.

arcticlemming · 15/09/2009 20:09

Thanks for your feedback. Taxi is only an option if he gets off the train at the nearest big town - last time it cost well over £30 and our current finances don't really permit this (although personally I'd prefer this). What interests and surprises me a bit is his insistence that you can't go out with other blokes without drinking. He's not a "blokey" sort of chap particularly and certainly not someone who can't enjoy hemself without a drink. It just amazes me that a simple "no thanks, I've left the car at the station" seems to be such an issue.

Romanarama · 15/09/2009 20:10

My dh would never ask, but I don't think it's such a big deal to get 2 kids up and put them in the car if he's really going to enjoy the night out and if there isn't an alternative. Not great, but not a disaster. They'll probably have a blast going out in the car in their pyjamas at night anyway.

arcticlemming · 15/09/2009 20:10

Bitoffun - good point. I regularly ask myself the same question (but that's another thread). Juyst think Royston Vaisey

FabBakerGirlIsBack · 15/09/2009 20:10

Well you had better hope not.

SingingBear · 15/09/2009 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

allaboutme · 15/09/2009 20:12

I expect its that everyone else will be drinking and as he doesnt go out much he really wants to make the most of it really.
I still wouldnt get the kids up though.

It would have to be taxi (if he can afford a big night out and plenty of alcohol he can afford a taxi!) OR he would have to stay overnight at a mates house.

arcticlemming · 15/09/2009 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

fluffles · 15/09/2009 20:14

i think you can drink a pint or two and cycle a bike home a mile or two, just like you can walk home ok without causing accidents.

otoh i wouldn't drink even a half if i was driving.

the difference is the speed at which you are travelling... and if there's an off-road cycle path then you can def. ride having had a pint or two (at most).
we're not talking about central london here, there's unlikely to be a lot of traffic, so long as you can be seen easily in the dark.

oneopinionatedmother · 15/09/2009 20:14

i'd probably do it,

like someone else said, they'll enjoy the adventure, and it is a one off. when i've woken mine for other reasons they haven't been moody the next day.

SomeGuy · 15/09/2009 20:15

I don't see that leaving sleeping children in their own home for 10 minutes in the middle of the night is a high risk activity, so therefore I would not stress about doing it.

Obviously if your child wakes up frequently, that would be different.

millenniumfalcon · 15/09/2009 20:15

3 miles? he can walk it!

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