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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think getting the kids out of bed to pick up DH isn't on?

99 replies

gloriagloria · 15/09/2009 19:49

Not a huge problem in the cosmic scheme of things but wanted opinions as DH is not usually particularly unreasonable. DH is due to meet up with friends next week a train ride away. I'm very happy for him to do this, but he's asked that I pick him up at the station so he can drink (alternative would be to take car to station). This would mean getting my two DSs (age 2 and 3) out of bed at about 11 (when they've been in bed for 4 hours), bundling them in the car. It's only a short drive but it's the disruption to them I feel is unacceptable. I've done it before in emergencies (i.e. trains not running etc) but feel that having a few beers doesn't really justify it. He got uncharacteristically shirty when I objected and said as it doesn't happen often I shouldn't make such a deal of it. He's certainly not a heavy drinker and rarely goes out, but he is adamant that when you go for a drink with blokes you can't not drink which is what I do when I go out.
A taxi's not an option where we live by the way.
So opinions please. Is he being a bit selfish, or am being a bit unreasonable as it's a one-off?

OP posts:
Sassybeast · 15/09/2009 20:16

A taxi is absolutely possible - they do drive more than 10 miles yunno YANBU. If it was just to pick him up then fine but thers is no way that I would (or he would expect me to) get the kids up.

SomeGuy · 15/09/2009 20:17

3 miles is not the OP. Also the OP might live on a road with no pavement, and drunk man in road + nighttime traffic is a bad combination.

thisisyesterday · 15/09/2009 20:17

drinking and cycling is an offence and can get you a £1,000 fine.

really best not to

Georgimama · 15/09/2009 20:19

3 miles is the OP. She's name changed half way through.

tobago04 · 15/09/2009 20:20

I would'nt get them out of bed unless it was an emergency etc,surely it's against the law to leave them at home? Could'nt you have a friend round for the evening and then pick him up?

SomeGuy · 15/09/2009 20:21

they cannot breath-test for drunk cycling though.

millenniumfalcon · 15/09/2009 20:21

if no pavements walk along edge of fields.

fluffles · 15/09/2009 20:22

you know what, OP, you should have discussed this before you moved to wherever it is you live where you can't get home without a car.

did you not ever think that one of you might want to go out for a drink one evening?

or even, heaven forbid, both of you might want to have a drink on a special occassion?

Romanarama · 15/09/2009 20:23

I wouldn't leave them in bed no way. What if you crashed the car or something, what a disaster.

BitOfFun · 15/09/2009 20:24

I'd worry about the old Dead In A Ditch thing if he was walking home. Blimey, you're gonna have to pick him up really, aren't you? As long as he doesn't make a habit of it.

pranma · 15/09/2009 20:24

any neighbours/family who would sit in for half an hour?

ravenAK · 15/09/2009 20:25

I would definitely try to get a sitter gorionone - if it's just to watch TV in your house for 20 minutes whilst you get dh, then not a huge ask. They're only there in case the house spontaneously combusts, not to actually feed bath bedtime story. I quite often do similar for neighbour, in fact.

Otherwise, if you really can't, then I'd tell dh I wasn't able to leave the dc & up to him to find a lift/budget for a taxi.

I don't think either hoofing the dc out of bed as a one-off OR leaving them briefly would be a disaster, tbh, but I wouldn't want to set the precedent.

Georgimama · 15/09/2009 20:25

Maybe they didn't move there, fluffles? Perhaps they both came from there already? Does happen. In any case, I refuse to believe that there is any railway station in the country from which it is not possible to arrange a pre-booked taxi to somewhere 3 miles away. If he can afford to go out drinking he can afford the taxi, or should factor it into the cost of his night out. That's what we do.

ravenAK · 15/09/2009 20:27

3 miles?

Oh well, he can walk it then.

dogonpoints · 15/09/2009 20:27

where's gloria gone?

I want to know why a taxi isn't possible

eandh · 15/09/2009 20:29

any chance you could invite a friend over for dinner and catch up whilst dh out and ask if they mind staying with kids whilst you collect dh (I would do it for any of my friends plus you get an evening with a friend)

Georgimama · 15/09/2009 20:29

It is possible, dogon, just too expensive apparently.

HeadFairy · 15/09/2009 20:31

I wouldn't leave them, neither would I wake them. I would say get him to walk, but make sure he takes a torch with him, and wears a light coloured coat or something that will make him stand out at night.

My Dh has staggered home at all hours of the night in central London (which has waaay more cars and manic buses than somewhere more rural) and so far he's survived! Of course, I do get lots of drunken rambling phone calls giving me precise details of his walk home at 3am (I'm jussss passsing that place we went for dinnnnner last week.... snice wasnnntit? I loooove you baaaaaabes... etc etc) I just put the phone against my ear and go back to sleep

AnyFucker · 15/09/2009 20:31

oh dear, please do not consider leaving them behind in bed

they will most likely be fine

but what if something happened to you on the way back and you didn't get home ?

I think, on balance, I would go get him and take them with you

and make sure it is a rare occurrence, and not something that dh gets too used to

FarkinBarkin · 15/09/2009 20:32

If this is just a one-off then how does he plan to get home next time he goes out drinking? Or is he never going again?

dogonpoints · 15/09/2009 20:32

where did gloria say that?

A taxi for a 10 min journey too expensive? Dh should drink chaep drinks then he could afford it.

Original poster
gloriagloria · 15/09/2009 20:34

Hi -
Taxi not possible becase would be over £30 (although I'd be happy for him to spend this - he's not prepared to under current financial circs). The only neighbours I know are (a) 87 years old and (b) shockingly antisocial and unfriendly. Could try and invite a friend over, butthey would have to stay later than reasonable on a "school night".

OP posts:
Georgimama · 15/09/2009 20:35

She's named changed half way through to arcticlemming.

She said that in order to get a taxi (presumably from a taxi rank) he would need to get off at earlier stop on train which is much further away and would cost 30 quid. I don't understand why it isn't possible to prebook a taxi from closer station (3 miles). I'm quite sure it is possible, but he just can't be arsed to organise it.

Original poster
gloriagloria · 15/09/2009 20:36

dogonpoints - the taxi would have to come from about 10 miles away, or he would neet to go to the nearest big town 10 miles away.

OP posts:
Original poster
gloriagloria · 15/09/2009 20:36

Yes, sorry about the impromptu namechange...

OP posts:
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