To wish DH had given me a push present...?

[deliakate]

A small part of me feels aggrieved that he didn't. He used to be so generous.......

Hmmm ... never referred to them as push presents - horrible expression!! - but did get a present after each dc (and this time, one a few weeks beforehand - due next week)

dc1 - Tiffany diamond earrings
dc2 - new laptop (to make it easier for me to work from home, so was practical gift but very lovely)
dc3 - cashmere wrap (for warmth and discreet breastfeeding!)

Never expected any of these but of course they are nice to get. I don't think the OP is BU. It's nice when your DP 'spoils' you, esp if they earn the lion's share of the household income or whatever. For me, the gifts that DH gave me kind of said "you are a mum, yes, but you are still a sparkly woman and a woman with a career and a brain" - I dunno, like an affirmation/ acknowledgement of some of the things I was BC (before children)

I think the term "push present" is vile too, and think the idea of expecting a present for having a baby is grabbing and bizarre. I have never heard it before. But then I never read the shit that passes as mother and baby mags.

It rings horrible bells to me of a well-off farming family I knew in my childhood. Wife had had two girls. She was promised a stonking diamond ring if she produced the goods third time around. She got her ring. I thought it was vile at the time. Boy didn't want to be a farmer hahahahahaha.

And, in general, if you want a gift from your DH, you need to Be Clear In Advance.

push present,sounds agricultural and crass

My grandmother gave me a lovely sparkly bracelet when I had DS as she had apparently felt unrewarded when she had her first baby. My mum was a bit because she was the baby in question - she and my grandmother are very close and my mum is her registered carer and sees her every day and has given her IMO lovely grandchildren and great-grandchildren. So much as I like my bracelet I am hoping that my lifelong relationship with DS will be the real reward!

DH was ace in the hospital last labour and and this time round has been looking after DS and waiting on me hand on foot whilst I've been laid up with back pain etc., whereas the only men I know who've given their wives or partners a "push present" are those who haven't been around much during pregnancy, e.g. due to work etc. I therefore associate sparkly presents from fathers with guilt so see no reason for DH to feel obliged thankfully!

DH gave me a ring, and I gave him a book. Am bemused by the outrage this seems to provoke.

clearly you feel that he doesn't value and appreciate you - will you be able to move on or does he need to put things right?

PrettyCandles "Why are posters so angry about this?"

LOL are you new to AIBU? People here love to get outraged at the harmless things other people get up too!

Reading waaaaay to much into stuff is also a favourite pastime . Don't try to fight it, just relax and enjoy.

I know thesecondcoming, sparkly is nice. I have been thinking how I would rather like an Argyle diamond from the mines in Western Australia. Have mentioned this to DH in passing, wouldn't be surprised if one turned up after having "pushed" this baby out.

See the feminist bit is, I could if I so desired, get myself a job and buy the diamond myself. But seriously? I can't be arsed, so I shall use my feminine wiles instead.

Perhaps she didn't want the baby after it kept crapping and crying, asked her DH to take it back and replace with a nice push present instead.
Perhaps a nice quiet vase?

buildaburger Pork pie and deodorant! Absolutely classic - is it true?? Made me laugh out loud (which is saying something these days) and should certainly be quote of the week

I got one - it's a rally car session with me driving I'm sooooo looking forward to it. Not conventional I know - the convetional present I believe is a ring e.g. eternity ring etc.

TBH I think I'd have got this even if I hadn't pushed out ds.

GotAGoodManTiggaxx

Don't mind me, I'm just demonstrating to DS1 how to do faces.

So, DS1, if I'm shocked at the idea I go , if I think it's a bit odd I go , if I like it I go or even if I like it very much and if I read about any more diamond rings I shall go

DS1 has now gone at his unexpected internet fame!

My very hands on daddy DH gave me a coffee maker (coffee is an obssesion with me rather than addiction) after our DC's were born, should I be giving it back as it is wrong on a feminist/agricultural/taste level? Come on ladies the OP said she was a little miffed that's all and what on earth is wrong with the word 'push' blummin heck some of you must have been vomiting everytime the midwife asked you to do that when you were getting your DCs out.

Push present! Fabulously awful

Adding it to my dictionary of new phrases gleaned from MN this week.

its poncey term. i didnt do any pushing.so no pressie for me

Large glass of wine poured the minute I've got back through the front door would do me.

Bleurgh! A 'push present'!

I did get a big slab of oozy camembert and a glass of champagne, which was fabulous. Oh, and a gorgeous baby boy!

My DH is obviously a bit crapola at this sort of thing - I don't even have an engagement ring.

YABU.

I got an amethyst ring as DS was born in February and amethyst is his birth stone I told DH I wanted it though.

I got a card for DH from ds when he was born.

'Now I'm here I can thank you for taking good care of mummy and me during the pregnancy'

I don't expect a proper present from my DH, but a bunch of flowers would have been nice. He didn't 1st time around and I didn't let him forget it. It didn't help him that I was at the enterance of the p/n ward and saw a procession of new dads coming in with flowers/balloons/cards/teddies/nicely wrapped gifts etc...

"Push present", live and learn ...

Blimey, I will be deeply impressed and appreciative if DH doesn't manage to trash the kitchen during my (hopefully short) stay in hospital