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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to heave when someone talk about someone else being their 'soulmate'?

119 replies

moondog · 15/09/2009 00:20

Usually with bovine misty look in eyes.
Invariably he then fucks off after about 3 weeks with a 17 year old .

OP posts:
ilovemydogandmrobama · 15/09/2009 17:03

arrrghh! Don't make me get married Noah

MaggieBeauLeo · 15/09/2009 17:05

yeah, hubby is awful. DH is a bit presumptious when the vast majority of them aren't very dear.

I'm not married, but if I were, I'd type just 'h'. I think in context people would probably be able to figure it out.

GibbonInARibbon · 15/09/2009 17:14

If I thought it could not get any worse, someone just had to mention 'hubs'

I am making a vow not to click on this thread again. I am still sore from the last scouring.

MorrisZapp · 15/09/2009 17:21

Polite women should either slag their DPs off or just say 'aye he's ok' and leave it at that. Nobody on this planet needs or wants to hear how wonderful you think he is.

My best friend calls her own DP 'that lovely big man' and she also calls mine that too ie 'how's that lovely big man of yours' etc. Is v nice of her (she's v nice person) but I struggle with it. It just makes me want to hurl.

Pride comes before a fall imo. You're going to look like a right arsehole if mr wonderful turns out to be mr hopelessly inadequate. Or even mr alright I suppose but I can do better.

'soulmates' as a concept causes so much grief. As does 'love' as in 'but I love him'. Do these people have a special certificate that entitles them to put all with all manner of crap because they are 'in love' ffs.

NoahDear · 15/09/2009 17:38

its vanity to say he is great. What you mean is arent I great.

MmeLindt · 15/09/2009 17:42

lol at "we had seven stitches". Did you manage to keep a straight face?

I don't like the "soulmates" and "the one".

My exSIL was, just as SGB described, always searching for her "soulmate". She was our neighbour and was fascinated by our marriage and wanted the same kind of man. To my regret, I introduced her to DH's brother. They married a year or two later, and she was blissfully happy with her soulmate until she found a new soulmate six months after the wedding.

MIL excused her behaviour with the comment "Well, what does he (BIL) expect when he lolls about the sofa in his jogging trousers after work"

MorrisZapp · 15/09/2009 17:42

Yup, is exactly the same as waving your paycheck or receipt for latest designer purchase under your friend's noses.

If it's so great, just get on with enjoying it.

Sunfleurs · 15/09/2009 18:15

Lol MorrisZap.

I don't have a DP/DH, I don't want a DP/DH and I don't at all want to hear about yours either - are my general thoughts on this matter. Unless he is a arse, then I am all ears.

AnyFucker · 15/09/2009 18:29

Well, I do have a lovely man

But I would say I am only approx 90% certain he has been, and will remain, faithful

Tempting the fates any more than that makes me uncomfortable

Original poster
moondog · 15/09/2009 18:37

AARGH at 'lovely big man'.

Soooo wrong on so many levels.

I once went skiing and there was an Alistair Crowley lookalike in our group who referred constantly to 'my lady Liz'.

I feel hot and red just thinking about it (and not in a good way).

OP posts:
hippomother · 15/09/2009 18:41

Maggie, you are so right. Some women put up with utter crap from their partners and use the excuse that he is the one. No, he's not. He wouldn't be doing such things if he was the one.

expatinscotland · 15/09/2009 18:44

Oh, yes! My ex boyfriend calls his live-in girlfriend 'the good lady'.

BARF!

The one. Yeah, that's a crock of shit, too.

What if the one dies? Or decides he doesn't love you anymore?

Are you just supposed to sit on it the rest of your life because, well, there was only one?

SolidGoldBrass · 15/09/2009 18:59

I always refer to DS Dad as Ds Dad (or (when necessary) my co-parent. Especially when in company that includes new people when DS'Dad is being an arse 'Oh he's not my husband, he's my child's father' (ie credit me with better taste/don't blame me for his social ineptness/if you want to shag him, go right ahead and try your luck.

ssd · 15/09/2009 19:01

dh is my soulmate and thank christ, cos there's no one else who bothers

scottishmummy · 15/09/2009 19:08

the joy of unmarried is you can say living in sin or snigger at "the look or the why dont you just get married line....

scottishmummy · 15/09/2009 19:37

LOL "co-parent" that is socialsciencetastic right on hand knitted tampon territory that is

did he co-shag you

skihorse · 15/09/2009 19:39

YANBU - the word "soulmate" should be the reserve of lovesick 14 year olds.

I love my partner (not boyfriend, I'm 35) very much - he's my best friend and for a lot of people's tastes - we probably spend too much time together, I love his company and we're both a little "hermity". But I would never, ever use the word soulmate - I'm not sure such an entity exists - and if he is? Well he is probably a chipmunk living in the Andes and we'll never get to meet anyway.

lol@ meeting your soulmate in a nightclub in your hometown!

choosyfloosy · 15/09/2009 19:53

What's bad is the way it's often followed by 'but..'

As in 'he's my soulmate but... we just can't live together'

which either means that you think you're in with a chance at Denis from accounts and you're clearing the decks, or that the police have finally persuaded you to GET that restraining order taken out.

Either way it calls for an extremely changed subject.

scottishmummy · 15/09/2009 19:54

he's my soulmate but he still lives with mum Mrs Bates

Original poster
moondog · 15/09/2009 20:38

Fantastic Scottish and Floozy.

OP posts:
DeFluffMyFanjo · 15/09/2009 21:12

Hijack - is Stercus still around at all? Always worried about her and would like to know she's ok.

MadBadandDangerousToKnow · 15/09/2009 22:03

Have we discussed "other half" yet, ie "I was incomplete and not a fully functioning adult until he came along"?

ABetaDad · 15/09/2009 22:33

Malificence - thank goodness for a voice of reason. I know it is a light hearted thread and it is very funny but sounds a bit sad and envious too of people that are just happy.

I would never use the word in public or normally on MN but DW is my soulmate and I knew it from the moment we met. As ssd says, she is my soulmate and thank christ, cos there's no one else who bothers and I include my family in that category. I just feel incredibly lucky to have met her.

SolidGoldBrass · 15/09/2009 23:01

Scottishmummy: Well can you come up with a suitable term for 'person who is the other parent of your child but with whom you have no intention of forming a couple-relationship, thanks'? I suppose I could, technically, just about refer to him as an ex-partner given that we did actually date each other about 20 years ago (DS is, er, nearly 5). But co-parent is accurate and short.

scottishmummy · 16/09/2009 10:34

socialscience nomenclature and labelling not my interest -leave it to you co-parents. sure as hell some lentil muncher will come up with something to describe parallel non-discriminatory ethnographic parenting in post modernist societies