to think that a man shouldn't need to get his wife's/dp's permission to get a vasectomy?

[DaisymooSteiner]

Have been meaning to post this for ages, and it's come up on another thread so thought I'd start one.

I recently asked my GP how my dh would go about getting a vasectomy. She said he needed to make an appt with a particular doctor and that normally we would both need to be present to make sure that I consented, but as she'd spoken to me they would make a note and he could go alone.

On another thread someone has mentioned that she needed to give written consent as a condition of her dh being given the op.

I think it is absolutely disgraceful and deeply unethical that a mentally competant adult should need another person's permission to have an operation of any kind, let alone something like a vasectomy.

AIBU?

Im pretty sure it isnt needed but they act as though it is to save ££££ and time by not being expected to do a reversal at a later date, it probably isnt always a bad thing as it helps demonstrate what a big decision it is and makes suure people doont undertake it to lightly

We are talking about NHS treatment here. A vasectomy is really a lifestyle choice, it is not a necessary operation. I'm sure a GP's concern would be that his/her actions would be of benefit to the person as a whole not a hindrance and that the person had fully considered the consequences of their actions. Adults don't generally make these big decisions in secret, to me it would be an indicator that the patient hadn't fully thought it through or prepared for it.

I don't agree that it is a husband's decision only and the wife has no choice in the matter. It is a permanent and irreversible operation that has a large effect on a wife's life. Similar to the way a GP might have concerns about recommending vasectomy for an 18 year old single man, he/she might have concerns about recommending vasectomy for a married man who's wife disagreed or had not been consulted. Really an individual GP can insist on seeing the wife to check as they have to be confident the treatment is appropriate before they refer the patient. It is not a requirement but I'd be surprised if any GP would refer without raising the issue.

I know a number of babies conceived by condom and pill failures and one by a coil failure.

A man has the absolute right to get a vasectomy if he so wishes without anyone elses consent.

People who think he shouldn't, do you also think a woman shouldn't be allowed to get sterilised if the male partner didn't want her too?

Funnily enough I had a similar conversation with my GP. I talked about me being sterilised they were fine but when I mentioned DH getting a vasectomy they said I would need to come to the appointment too. I thought exactly the same - what a bloody cheek! If someone told me I needed my husbands approval if I wanted contraception/abortion/sterisation i'd be furious. It's his body and ultimately his decision. Such double standards.

Good grief, how insulting to the poor man! DH is all booked in and no-one asked me at any stage of the process, and quite rightly so!

DH was "done" many years ago - I had to sign a document, but I'm not sure it was a consent form. IIRC I had to say that I'd been told that the op isn't necessarily 100% effective in all cases.

(In fact, I didn't sign because nobody had told me that, though I knew it anyway. They phoned me to go into the hospital to sign before they'd operate! )

I don't think it is as clear as 'getting permission' from the wife. That is not what is happening here, there are no specifications in the UK about it being necessary to get permission from a partner or wife. It is about the GP being confident that the non-essential operation the patient is asking for is appropriate.

It will vary GP to GP but some will probably want to see the wife, some will want to ask the man, some might refer simply on the man's request but I personally think it would be more responsible to make sure a married man had fully addressed the issues with his wife before he was given an expensive, non essential operation on the NHS.

It is the same with female sterilisation and similar with abortion. Doctors can refuse to perform an abortion if they think the decision has been ill-considered or inappropriately made. A GP would like to be confident a woman was appropriate for sterilisation before he referred her and one of the conditions he might choose to set was speaking to her husband.

I dont think a man shuld need to ask for permission but I asked DW and she said no so I didn't.

A GP surely would want to ensure the man having the vasectomy had considered all the isuses and that he had consulted with his DW/DP so a joint appointment may be considered sensible to explain the issues properly.

Bizarrely had exactly this conversation with my GP today.

He emphasised it was more best practice than compulsory. According to him it was to prevent men doing it secretly and not telling their partners who then wonder why they're not getting pregnant.

I don't think Mmen should be required to provide evidence. ultimately their own bodies.

But I do think GPs should gently enquire what their partner thinks; I did work experience briefly on a gynae ward where they did reversals, and so many of them were really predictable- man had it beciuse he didnt want to get floundering amrriage complicated by children then remarried- and so many peoplereally did think they were easily reversible. It was very sad indeed.

Mind- I can imagine a scenario where thinks- she - is - infertile lady approaches GP for fertitlity help and GP has either the option of saying well no, you wuldn't be able to get pg (and breaking confidentiality) or shelling out loads of NHS funds on tests. Not a nice position to be in I imagine.

But still own choice.

This has happened to me once: referred couple for fertility treatment after they had not conceived, his sperm sample showed no live semen at all, he did not volunteer to me he had been "snipped" some years before he met her and he certainly had not told her before they got married and started TTC.
His legal right, and I would still defend that, but what a twunt, and predictably this was the beginning of the end for that wonderful relationship.
I was much embarrassed when I got the letter from the consultant explaining the cause of their infertility . So I do now asked when taking a history from couples who have trouble conceiving "is either of you sterilised?" and "are you haveing regular unprotected intercourse?". The story leading up to that 2nd question is for another thread...

If you are in a healthy relationship I think it only natural and preferable that you are in joint agreement about such a big op.

You are all getting het up at the most literally negative interpretation of the word 'permission' - it's a joint permission. The NHS need to do this as the waiting list for reversals is long and much tradgedy involved when it doesn't work.

That poor woman PD. I had several tests done before starting fertility treatment, and could only imagine what she must have felt finding out that her "D"P had lied to her for all those years.

lol, shouldn't laugh really but it is amazing that someone would think to go to the GP before they would have loads of sex when TTC!

at all my typos, I have no excuse other than preg brain...

Well I wish somebody would have consulted me, might have saved our marriage, especially as he later regreted it.

I think it's more than likely required so that the partner is INFORMED, rather than for explicit consent.
A man or woman in a long term relationship has NO right to go ahead with something so drastic without involving their partner.
So it's not unreasonable in the slightest.

A single man or woman shouldn't be entitled to sterilisation on the NHS either,( assuming no hereditary conditions etc.) as someone said earlier, it's a lifestyle choice.

Thank crunchie for the vasectomy!

I've tried every contraception under the sun, except the copper coil, whih I won't have because I believe it is an abortificant.

It's cheap, it's effective, it's long-term.

Thank crunchie for GPs who are all for it!

3 and out!

My mum was having an operation on her ovary a few years ago and if something had gone wrong they would have needed my dad's permission to perform a hysterectomy. My mum was livid about that.

No they wouldn't MrsChemist, that's a myth. Have just been doing some training on consent at work, and nobody has the right to consent for something like this other than the patient or the doctor if he/she believes it is in the patient's best interests and the patient is unable to give consent.

MrsChemist, that is not correct under UK law.

It must vary from trust to trust...dh went to docs last week about having it...had the first discussion and then told that the next appointment would be for both of us to go in to make sure we were both happy with the decision...which I think is a better way of putting it, rather than asking my permission!