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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

TO BE BLOODY UPSET?

26 replies

Disenchanted3 · 13/09/2009 09:47

Just gone on facebook, my sister got engaged recently,

one of my aunts photo folders is 'congratulations on your engagement xxx and xxx'

I look inside and theres all pictures of all my family with my sister & fiancee with a cake balloon, everyone with beers in hand, presents for them

and nobody told me,

I already feel left out and this has just upset me so much

OP posts:
beanieb · 13/09/2009 09:49

OMG, are things otherwise good between you or is this totally unexpected?

5inthebed · 13/09/2009 09:49

How horrible Dis

Why would they not invite you, thats just cruel! Any idea when it was?

aGalChangedHerName · 13/09/2009 09:49

OMG How horrible for you. Not sure i know what to say. Do you see a lot of your family and are you close to your sister?

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 13/09/2009 09:50

Nonothings gone on, im only 20mins away

im just in pieces anyway as DH left yesterday

im sat here with no one

no ones even rang to see how i am

OP posts:
LuluMaman · 13/09/2009 09:50

have you fallen out with your sister?

you need to speak to her and find out what she was thinking

Corporalcornsilk · 13/09/2009 09:50

Oh no - are they far away?

Corporalcornsilk · 13/09/2009 09:51

Just seen they're 20 mins away. Do they know about DH?

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 13/09/2009 09:51

no i havent lulu my sisters and mum are my only mates

they cant say it was 'unplanned' eiher

its an iced cake saying their names on, engagement balloons and stuff

OP posts:
Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 13/09/2009 09:53

I rang my mum and told her last night,

but i spoke to him on phone at 2 am and hes said hes not cming home and wished he never married me

i got 3 kids under 5 and alot of problems,

im fucking exhausted from crying

OP posts:
Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 13/09/2009 09:54

Im sorry,all im doing lately is moaning

OP posts:
herbietea · 13/09/2009 09:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LuluMaman · 13/09/2009 09:58

you need to stay strong

there is bound to be anger and resentment between you and DH at the moment, and you are doing the right thing by having time apart

the only thing i can think of is that they did not invite you as you find social situations distressing? but they should still have told you and given you the option of saying yes or no

TeamCullenAllTheWay · 13/09/2009 09:58

Oh Dis You sound like you need a big hug at the moment.

I know this has really hurt and it seems incredibly mean for them to have a big get together without you...but right now you need your family hun.

Give your mum a call - tell her how you feel.

Sazisi · 13/09/2009 09:59

I'm sorry Disenchanted, it all sucks

Maybe there's a good reason you weren't included, could your sister have felt bad to rub your nose in her happiness when she knows you're having a hard time? Something like that?
Talk to her. xx

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 13/09/2009 09:59

No lulu im ok with them, its not a party like with strangers and stuff just my aunt & sisters

and TBH no one really knows imlike that apart from DH and ive started to tell my mum about it only the last few weeks

i need to get busy, im gonna tidy up

OP posts:
lockets · 13/09/2009 10:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 13/09/2009 10:00

the party was a few days ago befor all this saz (or at lerast before they knew about it iykwim?)

OP posts:
Corporalcornsilk · 13/09/2009 10:02

Perhaps it was all a bit impromptu and they didn't intend to all get together but it just kind of happened? My sisters sometimes do things like that out of thoughtlessness rather than purposely leaving me out.

Ineedmorechocolatenow · 13/09/2009 10:03

That's so rubbish. So sorry to hear about DH.

Ring your mum and find out what went on and why you weren't invited.

groundhogs · 13/09/2009 10:39

A word with your sister, that's for sure... That's very strange indeed.

Don't speak to DH for a few days, don't call him, and switch off phones when you go to bed. You both need some space, time to cool down and reflect.

If you are really going to split, then arguing now will just make it all so much more painful. If things will get better by you both cooling down and regrouping, then not speaking for a few days will enable things to cool down faster.

The 2 situations sound to be totally unrelated, keep them that way, but you truly deserve an explanation as to why you were not invited to a party for your sister...

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 13/09/2009 10:41

i dont want to split up

OP posts:
Alambil · 13/09/2009 10:42

do you really want to stay with someone that regularly hurts you? (emotionally and physically) Don't you think you're worth more than that? It's destroying you

Stayingsunnygirl · 13/09/2009 11:01

I'd be very tempted to put a comment on Facebook with the pictures of the party, saying, 'Nice party, shame I wasn't invited!!' But the adult response is probably to phone your mum (and your sister, perhaps - if you think your mum won't tell her what you say) and tell them how hurt you are about not being invited to the party and about the general lack of support from them in your situation.

Is it possible that your mum hasn't told your sister that your dh has left you, because she doesn't want to put a downer on her engagement? And might your sister actually be cross if your mum is keeping her in the dark - cross that she hasn't had the chance to support and comfort you?

abbierhodes · 13/09/2009 11:12

Could it be that your sister turned up at your Aunt's house for dinner or something, and your Aunt surprised her with the cake? So it could have been unplanned in a way.
Your Aunt still could have invited you though. I'd ring and ask, there must be an explanation.

Original poster
Disenchanted3 · 13/09/2009 11:29

my aunt must have invited my other 2 sisters though as they were here

i hurt himtoo lewwis i want to make it better

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