No-one will ever love your children like you do. It would be weird and wrong if they did.
Your school sounds like it is doing things to settle the children quite nicely, some school just through children straight into full-time school with no taster sessions and no individual meetings with the parents. Your school has had taster sessions, is doing half days and having meetings with the parents to help the children to settle in.
You are being way too, and a little a lot scarily over-protective but it is, and should be, a very emotional time for all parents when their children start school so don't worry too much. There is no need to worry so much and if you do you'll make your dd worry too.
The biggest thing you can give your children is independence. It is your job as a parent to teach them how to function as their own person in their own right. It really was your job to prepare your child for school and uniform e.t.c. like I said above, the school are doing their part.
Things parents can do to prepare their children for school depend on what the child needs so it would be impossible for a school to provide such individual care for a large number of children. My DS is sensitive, socially aware and had little self-confidence in new situations and with strangers.
I chose a very good nursery which he started the term after his 3rd birthday and which had similar hours to the school I wanted him to go to. I had to book him a place at this nursery when he was 18 months as it is very popular but when he went he went for free.
He went every weekday 1pm - 3.30pm, which gave him confidence as he finds routine comforting. They were a very good nursery and I had discussions with them at the beginning about working on his self-confidence, asking them to try and get him more confident in large groups and doing new things in front of people. They did a fantastic job with this.
I choose a smallish school. The school attached to the church which he attends every sunday. We worked on building relationships with the other children that go to the school and would be starting in his year and it has ended up that he is good friends with 2 children in his class, he is quite familiar with 10 children, he has only met the other 5 at the taster day and there is another class of 18 which he is largely unfamiliar with - I think this is a good mix of familiarity, friends and new social opportunities.
The school has had a taster session, a parents evening and is doing two weeks of half days (young half of the year in the mornings, older in the afternoons) to settle the children. My DS came home after 3 days saying he wants to do full days so he can have lunch with another boy he knows from year 1. I was and . I fully expect him to take this back and be tired and cross when he goes full-time but he would never have coped this well without the intensive preparation his nursery and I gave him for the last year.
His best friend however, didn't need anything at all. She was at home with mum and sister full-time before she started school (never been left with even a grandparent as her grandparents live 200 miles away) and is doing just as well as my DS because her personality allows her to take these things in her stride. Her family also go to church and are familiar with the building, the uniform and the school but she was happier being at home for 4 years and didn't really need much other than that. Both our children are may and june birthdays.
My dd will need very little. She'll go to the same nursery as ds for the same hours as I think the routine will be helpful and I will ask them to work on helping her to sit down and do things that other people require of her and recognise that other people need attention sometimes too but she'd be fine just thrown in the deep end at school like DS's friend.
I've not explained all this to be smug, I am trying to express that all children need to be prepared for school in different ways so it would be impossible to expect the school to do it rather than the parents. Basically, I think parents shouldn't expect the school to protect and prepare the children for school. It's the parent's job and how much work/strategic choice that involves completely depends on the child.