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AIBU?

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Original poster

More of an 'is it unreasonable' to lock a toddler in a bathroom...

135 replies

FlamingoBingo · 10/09/2009 20:08

...for half an hour crying so you can read a story to your two older children?

Really want to know what others' reactions to hearing about this would be!

OP posts:
victoriascrumptious · 10/09/2009 20:26

Why would you want to do that Flamingo?

NoahAmin · 10/09/2009 20:26

id lock myself in the bathroom

Original poster
FlamingoBingo · 10/09/2009 20:28

Ok, it wasn't me. There is no way on this earth I would ever do that - even when I've been at my lowest low, I have never, ever considered this.

But someone asked for me to think of them tonight while they endured a second night of leaving their toddler yelling in his room as they've embarked on CC. I thought she was a really hippy mum, so this has really shocked me.

She told me that the friend of hers who 'taught' her how to do it did it with all hers, and they all turned out fine, and that it's really good for them - they need it, in fact. And that the friend had even done the aforementioned a few times, because she didn't have a choice - she 'had' to read to her older children and the toddler was being awkard!

I came away feeling very, very sad . Completely unable to persuade this woman that her son didn't need CC - she's doing it for him.

Wanted to post here to see if I was overreacting in my sadness and shock.

OP posts:
KeithTalent · 10/09/2009 20:30

I put my toddler in his cot when the older two are doing school reading to me.

When I read to them the toddler sits and listens or gets down and plays on the floor.

KeithTalent · 10/09/2009 20:31

Oh god fb this is so so sad.

Callisto · 10/09/2009 20:32

Poor child. I hate CC. How can it possibly do any child 'good'? (In fact there is an Australian study that suggests it can do long lasting harm).

Thunderduck · 10/09/2009 20:33

Poor boy. That's horrible. It's so cruel. I can't understand how his mother can fail to see that.

hippomother · 10/09/2009 20:34

How does Controlled Crying work? It sounds a bit harsh to me.

Hando · 10/09/2009 20:35

Hang on. Controlled crying is totally different to locking a toddler in the bathroom unsupervised for half an hour! Which did she do?

Putting a toddler to bed, safely in his cot, lights down after bath and story and then (if he was a child who repeatedly found it difficult to settle) left hm crying for a bit, knowing he was safe (perhaps peeking from the door) before going back to him is ok in my opinion.

Locking toddler in hazardous bathroom is not ok.

Lizzylou · 10/09/2009 20:36

OK, so I did CC a little with DS1, but in 30 second bursts if anything tbh.
That is an awful thing to do, my 5 yr old couldn't cope with that and I wouldn't dream of doing it.
30mins is a long time, I can remember wishing my last half hour at work away so I could go home and it felt like an eternity, what would it feel like for a toddler??????????

pingapengin · 10/09/2009 20:39

I did CC with my DDs and it was nothing like that! why the bathroom? why half hour?

nickytwotimes · 10/09/2009 20:41

I've done cc too.

It was nothing like that.

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 10/09/2009 20:45

Controlled Crying IS NOT locking a toddler in the bathroom for 30minutes.

The only situation I could see locking a toddler in a bathroom for 30minutes is if you thought you were about to lose it and it's the only way you could cope without abusing the child, doing it so you can read a story to the older children is awful.

morningpaper · 10/09/2009 20:47

? What has the bathroom got to do with any of this?

BitOfFun · 10/09/2009 20:48

CC is not that, no way. That's like saying attachment parenting is something you do with gaffer tape.

MarshaBrady · 10/09/2009 20:48

Altogether worse than cc and awful.

Lack of control in a locked space. The thought of it is making me feel a panicky enough, let alone just how bad it would feel as a toddler. Ridiculous.

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 10/09/2009 20:49

MP - it is in the title but you are right locking a toddler anywhere for 30minutes (unless it's a playpen where they can see you etc) is not on.

morningpaper · 10/09/2009 20:51

Is it a typo in the title?

There are worse things than leaving a stroppy 3 or 4 year-old to shout his head off in bed while you are attending to other children.

I don't get where the bathroom comes in...

paisleyleaf · 10/09/2009 20:51

I feel really sad for this little boy.
Half an hour is a long, long time.
It would be traumatic for him and like she's trying to break his will.
How horrible

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 10/09/2009 20:56

I would have thought a toddler is under 2.

Thunderduck · 10/09/2009 20:57

Because the mother in question,not the OP, did lock her ds in the bathroom.

morningpaper · 10/09/2009 21:05

Hmm. Either I'm missing the post or... UM

Thunderduck · 10/09/2009 21:07

Perhaps I misread it too, but the OP did mention a bathroom in the titie. Now I'm confused.

ChookKeeper · 10/09/2009 21:07

DD1 is 15 now and I tried CC once and once only. At the end of my tether after trying everything to soothe her crying I left her in her cot for about 15 minutes before going upstairs to her. Imagine how guilty I felt when I found that she'd been sick all over herself.

Although tbh she's sitting next to me and having read this over my shoulder she said that she doesn't feel harmed by it now .

Original poster
FlamingoBingo · 10/09/2009 21:12

It was the bathroom this woman's friend locked her toddler.

I know it's not CC, but this woman and her friend clearly do not .

The woman I was chatting to said that she knew that, even though her heart was screaming to her not to do it, she knew it was the right thing because her friend's children are lovely and nice and not over-anxious or anything.

Too scared to be, I managed not to reply!

OP posts: