To be upset that ds expensive prep school are being difficult because I have to rush off to work in the morning

[lupo]

To cut a long story short I have scrimped and saved for ds to go to local prep school which seems lovely. I do need to work to cover the fees though. The school has this rule where all parents have to help children change for PE one morning a week for the first term, but I cant do this as have to drop and run to get to work. I have explained this to the teacher, but was met with a bit of a short shrift..I could understand if i was a sahm mum but i no longer am. I manage to do pick ups and drop offs but hanging round for pe is just one commitment I literally cant' afford. I know can see if someone can help, another mum prob can but that is not the point. Am i being unreasonable to accept a bit of understanding here or am I being unrealistic to expect it. I know other mums are in the same boat but am surprised at how much it seems to have put the teachers out that they may have to help a few children to change!!
All comments appreciated. Thanks

LOL nannyL, I do so agree that that uniform of shorts, blazers and ties for little boys is ridiculous as it is a combination that is never comfortable or weather-appropriate. Why schools thinks this is a good advertisement for them defies all logic - if the school's judgement is so warped and influenced by the fashions of time past for something like uniform, what on earth does this say about its judgement when it comes down to the nitty-gritty of education?

3,000 a term ABetaDad which is stacks but still cheaper than many of the other schools around here (all of which seem to require a lot more involvement). Doesn't have a ridiculous uniform either, just trousers/shorts and polos with a jumper.

Is a fantastic little place. I suspect the main reason for the lack of fund-raising stuff and the catering things is because it is mostly the children of expats and so their turnover is quite high. There really aren't any alpha parent types because most people are not there long enough to bother.

I think this is plain silly regardless of whether the mothers work or are SAHM.

As others have said - at this age they should either be able to change themselves more or less or should be strongly encouraged to learn how. Having Mum there to help is not going to be a strong incentive to learn how to cope.

When DD was in reception they had to wear ties and, not surprisingly, many couldn't manage them at first. The teacher managed to get them all sorted after PE though because a couple of the little boys mastered the art first and they were delegated to help out the others who needed it.

YANBU and it's vital for all mothers everywhere you take a stand. No school would DREAM of asking fathers to abandon work for something which should be well within the teachers' and children's capabilities anyway.

Though a teacher at dd2's nursery told me yesterday that lots of children turn up now "potty trained" in that their parents have simply removed the nappy on day one and expect the teachers to mop up the puddles and worse.

No, you're not being unreasonable. You are paying them/they are being paid to take care of your child between certain hours. What a stupid rule.

Morloth - it is £200 more than DSs school but sounds well worth the money. I read your post to DW and she says there is a school in Oxfordshire like the one your DSs are at.

I have a feeling we may be moving house again soon .

dc5 just started at a prep school
they have asked us for him to go in om fridays in pe kit

DC5!

he aint the baby abetadad!

I know of private schools where the little children actually go into school in their PE kit on PE days. It is a recognised problem that the very little children take too long changing for and after PE but the solution your school proposes is ridiculous. Speak to the head if the teachers are being obstinate.

Ds's school has them changing at break times (ie their own time) it's amazing how quick they learn to tie a tie and put garters around knee socks when they are missing out on time spent outside. When a child still can't do it within the time it's a big flag that there is a real reason that needs investigating.

This year for the first time ever they were allowed full PE kit all day when it was the 6 weeks of gym. I am hoping for similar common sense in swim week next term.

Alvira - yes that is that is what our school do. Good idea too.

NotanOtter - there is a baby as well!

thirtypence do you expect them to work wearing a swim suit all day?
Surely you dont meen sitting there in a wet swim suit after swimming ?

if the girls are all in swim suits (with uniform on over the top) how are they supposed to go the loo, without undressing completely?

I am staggered at the idea that children might need to go into school in their PE kit actually.

Is the uniform so complicated they can't manage it?

Or have I helped in classrooms of genius 4yos (seems unlikely) because even the least able in motor skills terms were able to get changed for PE in about 5 mins.

YA probably NBU but it is my understanding prejudice of expensive 'prep' schools like this that you are 'supposed' to be able to afford them comfortably on one wage or have a lovely au pair to drop the children in the morning. Are they not just trying to sort the wheat from the chaffe?

Isn't the 'correct' attitude to take in this situation "well, very sorry darling but my very important job need me in work at that time, so it's just impossible" then you walk away and never think of it again and the school just have to manage without you.

i am staggered that staff cannot manage a uniform change on 16 3 year olds tbh but hey ho

life's to short to sweat this stuff!

could you send him to school alreasdy changed ?

Oh are they 3? Well not so staggered then.

(pardon my ignorance, I thought we were talking regular school-age here. Ignore my rants then!)

I do agree btw that this is emphatically not a matter for parents to sort out!