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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to dread collecting my "three o clock monster" from school?

46 replies

Flyonthewindscreen · 08/09/2009 14:32

So depressing after six weeks of having Mr chilled out around (aka my DS, 7yr old, yr 3), now it is back to collecting the bad tempered moody man from the school gates. Any enquiry as to his day met with a grunted "it was normal". It usually takes about 30 minutes after getting home before he stops being foul...

He has always been like this on being collected (he has friends and rather to my surprise is apparently generally nicely behaved in school and is learning well so I'm not too concerned that he has spent the day being miserable). Why do the other parents standing next to you at school gates always seem to have happy beaming chatty DC returned to them?

OP posts:
seeker · 08/09/2009 14:33

Have you tried giving him something to eat as he comes out of school?

Original poster
Flyonthewindscreen · 08/09/2009 14:37

Yes Seeker, anything healthy offered tossed away with a flounce, occasional treat of small bar choc or crisps, etc, gulped down but of no help to mood. May try carton of smoothie today!

OP posts:
fircone · 08/09/2009 14:38

My sympathies, and empathy. Dd is horrendous after school. It is embarrassing as she snarls at me and growls "No questions!" before I've said anything.

Ds went through a spell of extreme grumpiness after school, and I know that having school dinners improved his mood radically.

Dd is still awful even with school dinners. She cheers up after about an hour, but it makes the school collection experience less than pleasant.

generalunrest · 08/09/2009 14:40

I agree with seeker, he sounds like he's had enough of it by the time he meets you, and doesn't need to put anything on cos he's with his mum.

If you know he's going to be like this for half an hour, I'd just let him chill until he's recovered! It takes us 15 mins to walk home, and my DD is OK when I meet her, but as soon as we get home she's just so tired until she gets to eat I try not to tax her poor work overloaded brain too much lol

theyoungvisiter · 08/09/2009 14:41

I can understand it in that I always need a bit of decompression time when I finish work. Luckily I have a tube journey to unwind and read my book before I have to switch into "family mode", but I can quite see that for a child it's disorienting and odd to have to click back from your school persona into your home one in an instant.

It's a personality thing I think.

Pyrocanthus · 08/09/2009 14:44

My first thought too - food, asap. Don't ask too many questions either, many children don't want to talk about school as soon as they come out, however much they enjoy it.

robino · 08/09/2009 14:58

I third food. My DDs aren't school age yet but I distinctly remember my mum going through this with my younger brother. He too rejected healthy things and in desperation she gave in and always had 2 terribly unhealthy rich tea biscuits in her pocket for him - he was given one instantly and the other if she felt he needed it. She claims it worked a treat.

Smithagain · 08/09/2009 16:01

Food, no questions, no pressure. Preferably a run around in the garden/park.

Not the slightest mention of homework, reading or "what did you do today" until they are ready to communicate of their own accord! Works for mine, anyway.

colditz · 08/09/2009 16:08

Carton of juice and a small flapjack.

PoptyPing · 08/09/2009 16:23

My DS1 (Y2) has been absolutely horrendous in the afternoons since going back to school. I've just had to carry him home from the playground in a fireman's lift while he screamed his head off (hello schoolfriends! Hello local shopkeeper! Hello neighbours!) He's currently in his bedroom, where he will remain until he's about 23.

Aaaargh

Pyrocanthus · 08/09/2009 16:31

And intravenous sugar solution for PoptyPing's DS.

PoptyPing · 08/09/2009 16:32

The ice cream he had might be one of the causes I suppose

That's it. No more sweets, EVER

Pyrocanthus · 08/09/2009 16:34

There was me thinking it might be a remedy, rather than the cause. No loss to the medical profession here.

onepieceoflollipop · 08/09/2009 19:54

"shurrup...poohead" said in a growl by my dd aged 5 (year 1)if we try to ask her how her day was.

We ignore to an extent, but this can prove impossible on occasion.

As well as food I suggest fluids. Dd only has the odd sip of water during the day I think, plus a drink with her lunch (supplied by me). I suspect it is a combination of tiredness/dehydration/low blood sugar in our case.

I let her chill out in front of the tv for 20 minutes.

Romanarama · 08/09/2009 19:56

My ds2 is vile after school. Luckily dss 1 and 3 are OK, so dilutes the embarrassment factor

I think he's just really tired. Carton of juice is definitely important for us.

fidelma · 08/09/2009 20:46

Food I can hardly speak to my 9year old until she has had something to eat.

LongStory · 08/09/2009 21:00

My 3 come home straight to large glasses of chocolate milk in the summer, hot chocolate in the winter. I get the older one to pour it / make it, as it stops him killing the younger ones for that critical 5 minutes.

FlyMeToDunoon · 08/09/2009 21:05

Food and TV work here.

gallery · 08/09/2009 21:41

I have been reading mumsnet advice for some time and talking to friends. my little one just started school and we have instigated a 'no question' policy.
So supper goes like this
mom to dad- how was your day?
Dad to mom - ok, irritating bla bla bla- how was yours
mom- oh you know, lots of talking to people, playing on computer
Interjection from son- my day was so busy, I got sticker from teacher for tidying up
Mom, Dad,burst of enthuasiastic response- oh did you, well done, what else happened son?
Discussion moves on to meals and so on
It is less painful and baby joins in too telling gobbleyde gook.

springerspaniel · 08/09/2009 22:12

Most amused by "shurrup poohead". We get called "pooh pooh head" a lot by our 4 year old. We do tell him, without smirking, that it is not nice to call anyone that...but inside I am peeing myself laughing. Would just love to behave like that at work.

girlwithapearl · 08/09/2009 22:14

Agree with what's been said - definitely food and drink at pickup, no questions, encourage to flop on the sofa as soon as home. Peace and harmony normally restored by dinner time when suddenly they are itching to tell you all about their day.

TsarChasm · 08/09/2009 22:29

'shurrup poohead' Ooh yes that hits the spot doesn't it? I so wish I could say that!

The afterschool grumpy gang live here too. Well two grumpy girls and ds who seems possessed by 'bonkers boy' at that time of day. He never stops talking and tearing about like a loon, dd2 is often furious about something and dd1 maintains an icy silence. Then there's me trying to jolly everyone along determined not to get drawn into an argument.

They are sweet as can be usually, but something about 3.30 - 4.30 and they're awful. Agree no questions other than v light obsevations. (Even those have been known to reduce my lot to fury).

Just get them home, some space and a snack and normal service is resumed. Well almost - bonkers boy seems to hang about a bit but we can live with him cos at least he's funny.

fannybanjo · 08/09/2009 22:33

I had half an hour of DD1 (nearly 7, year 2) screaming at the top of her lungs and she didn't calm down until she had her tea at 4pm. I too miss my slightly less agressive child. She makes looking after 2 babies all day when she is at school a piece of piss!

Even though she is so tired, she has only just fell asleep, I put her to bed at 7.30pm and she just can't wind down at all.

onepieceoflollipop · 08/09/2009 22:35

Those of you who are amused by "shurrup poohead" please do feel free to invite my dd1 round for tea one night.

onepieceoflollipop · 08/09/2009 22:37

Incidentally I am a nurse and I am fairly certain that saying it to the occasional awkward patient may not go down particularly well. (amusing to imagine though!)