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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to expect my DH to share his food with DS and not get arsey with me for suggesting it?

30 replies

Dontpanic · 08/09/2009 12:55

Am getting sick of having 2 kids in the house to look after, DH and DS. DS fine, he's doing what toddlers do, but he loves to sample whatever is on someone else's plate.
DH guards his plate contents with his life! Or, in fact, his doritos/cheetos/whatever other huge snackbag of crisps he has.

I'm quite happy to let DS try whatever I'm eating (particularly curry ) but I object strongly to being the only one to give up part of my ice cream to avoid a raging tantrum! DH gets most offended when I suggest he might want to share as well

OP posts:
TheLadyEvenstar · 08/09/2009 12:59

men eh?

famishedass · 08/09/2009 13:00

YABU - you and your dh both need to grow up for God's sake. Fancy eating ice cream in front of a kid and not giving him one. Give your kid a bit of your food and try and stop being so resentful.

Is there a shortage of food in your house?

Tidey · 08/09/2009 13:01

Oh dear. Didn't his mummy ever tell him it's nice to share?

oopsadaisyangel · 08/09/2009 13:04

DH will share all of his food with both our DS's but ice cream is the one thing he won't share or eat the left overs of - he's got some sort of thing about other people and ice cream. Apart from ice cream DH will happily share everything with his boys!! DS1 is also happy to share is veggies with his little brother too

curiositykilled · 08/09/2009 13:04

why should he share his food just cos you do? If you don't want to share your food then don't. I agree with famishedass very true, if you eat an Ice-cream in front of a child without giving them one too (unless it's a punishment) you are going to have to share or have a tantrum. If your DH picks tantrum over sharing, that's his choice.

princessmel · 08/09/2009 13:04

Agree, how come ds hasn't got an ice cream if you have one?

If dh has crisps, put some in a bowl for ds.

simples.

KnickersandVests · 08/09/2009 13:04

YANBU DH is a greedy pig.

Answer- stop buying ice cream and doritos and buy celery and sultanas instead. DH will gladly share then.

Tidey · 08/09/2009 13:05

That sounded a bit mean actually. What I mean is, presumably when your DS gets bigger, goes to playgroup/nursery, whatever, he will be expected to share toys. Your DP isn't setting a very good example about sharing to him by the sounds of it.

famishedass, I am assuming that the OP's DS does get his own food as well, but my toddler's the same, even if she's already full she'll want to try a bit of whatever anyone else is eating.

colditz · 08/09/2009 13:07

I don't sharemy food.My children get given their own food.My bedroom is mine, my food is mine, my clothesare mine, my drinks are mine.

I will share a drink if they spill/finish theirs and are thirsty, but not for the sake of it.I'm a human being, I do have the right to say no, even to cute people.

MrsBadger · 08/09/2009 13:08

YABBABU

I can see your DH's point that he doesn't want DS to grow up constantly whining for scraps, and IMO it is important that toddlers don't always automatically get to try everything everyone else is eating.

but agree with you he should have somethign if everyone else is snacking, even if it's smaller / different / more toddler-friendly

salt and shake crisps (with the salt sachet removed) are a handy diversion for dd

2rebecca · 08/09/2009 13:09

If you want your kid to have food then give him some of his own. If you're handing out crisps then put some in a bowl for husband and some in a bowl for sprog. Why should your husband have less food because you don't give your kid his own portion?
Once our kids were weaned they had their own portions of food. The only time we gave them some of ours was if we were at a restaurant and then we agreed who would give what before ordering. If you're at home then there's no reason not to do a child sized portion of whatever.

famishedass · 08/09/2009 13:13

how old is your dc?

TheLadyEvenstar · 08/09/2009 13:19

I do share my food but what i do is regardless of what we are eating if dc are awake and even if they have eaten i put a little of what we are going to have on a plate/bowl for them...that way (she really believed it would work) they leave us alone lol well thats what is meant to happen............

2rebecca · 08/09/2009 13:35

When they were very small and I didn't want them eating crisps, nuts etc I just didn't buy that sort of stuff. I would never open a packet of crisps in front of kids if they couldn't have their own packet/ some in a bowl. Same with ice cream, sweets etc.I'm not that bothered about crisps and sweets though so doing without whilst I was encouraging the sprogs to eat at meal times and mainly eat healthy stuff was no hardship.

OrmIrian · 08/09/2009 13:37

You DH sounds very mean. Like a dog growling at anyone who comes near his food bowl. But why won't you give DS any of your ice-cream?

Original poster
Dontpanic · 08/09/2009 13:44

Lol! DS does get his own food, but if we're eating out, no way am I paying an extra £4 or whatever for a portion of ice cream for a 17mth old...so I expect DH to give up an equal portion of his as I do mine!

The crisps thing is DH's bad habit of sitting down of an evening and opening the bag (we're talking huge bag here) in front of DS just before he goes to bed...DH wants a "snack" before dinner so DS wants to try things out since daddy's doing the same. I intend to foster this doe-eyed whinging at dad so DS doesn't ever get a taste for my chocolate

OP posts:
2rebecca · 08/09/2009 13:49

No way would my husband have a huge bag of crisps before dinner. He'd be cooking his own dinner if he did so.

Original poster
Dontpanic · 08/09/2009 14:07

2rebecca - often that is his dinner, or if not, damn right he makes his own. Which means it'll be a ready meal/pizza/bread n spread. Not big on cooking from scratch.

I don't want to open the can of worms lining the route of DS's habit-forming years...that's going to the fault of both of us, so we'd be be doing an AIBU

OP posts:
slowreadingprogress · 08/09/2009 14:10

i would find it very hard to find a man attractive who couldn't bear to share something off his plate with a 17 month old. how bizarre. How do our children learn to share if not by being shown?

bigchris · 08/09/2009 14:13

god thats awful eating crisps in front of a 17 month d and not giving any
what a tosser

thedollshouse · 08/09/2009 14:24

I would give ds his own food. I have a bit of an "issue" when it comes to sharing food, I just don't like it I like everyone to have their own food. If there are leftovers they go in the bin. In dh's family everyone scrambles around everyones plate until the last morsel has gone I find it puts me off eating anything.

famishedass · 08/09/2009 14:44

Eat in child-friendly restaurants where it doesn't cost £4 for a childs ice cream - where are you taking him, The Ritz - try your local harvester - great kids desserts for £1-£2.

Or

Go without an ice cream yourself, order ds one, and then scoff all his - perhaps that'll show him what it feels like.

alwayslookingforanswers · 08/09/2009 14:47

None of my DS's have EVER had anything off my plate. I don't share my food - never have, and never will.

DH is a big softy though and frequently gives away over half his dinner

alwayslookingforanswers · 08/09/2009 14:48

my DH often has 2 huge sandwiches just before his dinner - even if he's eating once that DS's are in bed

mayorquimby · 08/09/2009 15:49

"men eh?"

really helpful comment ladyeveningstar, it added a lot to the thread. but then again that's "women eh?" just saying something for the sake of it but not really contributing anything . ( i am of course being facetious to prove a point.)