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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not send my 2 yr old to pre school

44 replies

mumof2rugrats · 08/09/2009 11:30

my dd2 is 2.4 and alot of my fam r saying i am being selfish for not wanting to send my dd to pre school till she is 3 .

OP posts:
nigglewiggle · 08/09/2009 11:34

Your child, your choice. DD has just started at 3.5 and she was VERY ready for it. I'm enjoying the break too . You will know best when she is ready. Why do they think you are being "selfish"?

traceybath · 08/09/2009 11:34

Well I won't be sending ds2 until he's 3 as I'm a SAHM with another baby.

He gets interaction from friends/older brother etc.

I did send DS1 from the age of 2 for 2 sessions a week and it didn't work very well. I think that 2 sessions just wasn't enough for him to really settle well or make friends at that age.

I do think it depends a lot on the child and what you want. Struggle to see how its selfish though.

ChopsTheDuck · 08/09/2009 11:37

I can see that point of view, because mine really loved it, and I think it would have been a little mean of me to deny them that.

They went two days a week from their 2nd birthday, so I had my three days to do what we wanted to do together, and once they had settled in, they loved attending preschool for the other two.

It does depend on the child though, if you relly dont think they would enjoy it, it is pointless.

meemarsgotabrandnewbump · 08/09/2009 11:38

why is that selfish? Tell them to keep their noses out

ThingOne · 08/09/2009 11:39

Depends entirely on the child. It's not selfish at all. Some are ready and love it at two. Some are not ready until later. It's not essential but it can be fun.

WinkyWinkola · 08/09/2009 11:41

Up to you when you send your child to pre school or even wait until school.

If you think your child would have a great time and you'd like a bit of break for a couple of hours, then do it.

If not, then great.

What's best for you and your dd isn't necessarily what's best for your friends' children.

People do get very unsettled and even irritated when other parents do things differently to them.

sherby · 08/09/2009 11:41

DS (2) will go soon, he is v late summer baby so if I don't send him until he is 3 he will only have 2 terms before school

paisleyleaf · 08/09/2009 11:42

From 3 makes sense.....it's when it's funded.

Original poster
mumof2rugrats · 08/09/2009 11:43

well i went to college when dd1 was 1.6 and she went to a private nursary alllday and i felt i missed out on alot of growing up and dont want to do the same with dd2 .
fam think i should send her so she gets to play with kids her age and time away from me as i have never left her for more than an hr and they think i am keeping her at home cos i dont want to leave her .

OP posts:
WinkyWinkola · 08/09/2009 11:46

So even if you don't want to leave her. That's fine. She's still a titchy kid and you're her mum. You're allowed to want to be with her as much as you like.

Original poster
mumof2rugrats · 08/09/2009 11:54

me and dp think it will be best for her to start nxt sept .

OP posts:
KittyTN · 08/09/2009 12:01

That sounds completely reasonable. My local favoured preschool publishes a start age of 2 but usually takes the little ones around 2.5, esp the boys as most are not ready so early. There is a difference between preschool and nursery.

ben5 · 08/09/2009 12:05

tend to have to pay aswell till the term after there 3rd birthday. up to you then if you can afford it. both mine went at 2 for a couple of sessions a week and i loved the break. they also enjoyed it.

mamas12 · 08/09/2009 23:56

I didn't send mine until they were 4. We are the only country in Europe who send their dcs to school so young.
So glad that things are changing now and it's all learning through play. so it might be a lettle different.

nappyaddict · 08/09/2009 23:59

At DS' playgroup they start from just turned 2 but they go for 3 sessions which really helps with settling in issues.

Clary · 09/09/2009 00:13

sherby he must have 3 terms after being 3 before he goes to school, even if born on Aug 31!

To OP not unreasonable at all imo.

Plenty of people don't access pre-school until 3; depends on the child ime.

selby · 09/09/2009 01:08

Entirely up to you. DS started as soon as he was 2 simply because I was desparate for 2 hrs' freedom. With DD, I felt no such compulsion and have waited until she's 2.7 although she was more than ready for it.

diddl · 09/09/2009 08:22

What´s pre school?

Mine went to a "toddler group" at two & a half.
Partly so I could have time alone with new baby a couple of mornings a week.

But if he hadn´t been happy I would have stopped it.
Time comes soon enough when they "have to" go to school!

CyradisTheSeer · 09/09/2009 09:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

diddl · 09/09/2009 09:06

What´s the rasoning behind you being "selfish" for not doing it?

Because you want as much time as possible with your child??!!

risingstar · 09/09/2009 09:09

your reasons are totally fine.

you know your child, you know how you feel. enjoy your time together.

if others are interested in this, they have not got enough in there own lives.

besides, we learn through experience. you learnt from your first child that you wanted to spend more time with your second.

nowt wrong with that!

Bathsheba · 09/09/2009 09:12

I'm not sending DD2 to preschool until this time next year - she was 3 on Sunday.

She is simply too little. She can't walk through the school playgroup at drop off time for DD1 without needing to be carried because she is scared of all the people. She isn;t potty trained and seems to be no where near being (We'll have another shot in the October holidays I think)...

She goes to playgroup 3 afternoons a week and does another few activities with me (messy play and a music and dance thing) and that is enough for her - she isn't ready for a formal preschool enviroment every day.

I'm pg with DC3 at the moment and everyone is saying to me "Oh you'll be wanting her out to preschool to give you some rest" - no, just because I'm having another baby doesn;t make her big enough to be ready for preschool - in fact the fact that I'm having another baby is MORE reason for her to be secure and happy with me.

GoldenSnitch · 09/09/2009 09:19

I haven't sent DS to Preschool yet because I am a SAHM and we have lots or friends his own age because I still see 6 or 7 of the Mums from my antenatal group. All the children are within a couple of months of each other so he gets plenty of interaction with other children his own age.

It just seems a waste of money when he and I are happy at home together...

Our local pre school doesn't even take children until they are 2.9 anyway!

DS will be going to Pre school next April, the term after he turns 3. I do feel that at that point, weaning into a school environment would be helpful - for both of us. Plus, we are having a new baby in December and I think DS will benefit from having some time away from the baby as much as the baby will benefit from having me all to herself.

There is no point sending your child to nursery before you are ready as it will just make you both miserable.

bigchris · 09/09/2009 09:22

just tell your family you can't afford it until it's free and that usnt until your lo is three

diddl · 09/09/2009 09:30

Why do you have to justify yourself to your family?

3 sounds fine to me.
It´s hardly too old, is it?

Here we have kindergarten from age 3-6.
(Optional)

Some children don´t go until 5 so that they have one year before school.