Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to not send my 2 yr old to pre school

44 replies

mumof2rugrats · 08/09/2009 11:30

my dd2 is 2.4 and alot of my fam r saying i am being selfish for not wanting to send my dd to pre school till she is 3 .

OP posts:

Romanarama · 09/09/2009 09:38

My ds1 loved pre-school at 2. The others went to nursery because of circumstances, but I'm sure they would have preferred to stay at home, esp ds3. Up to you. How nice to spend time with your dd.

oldraver · 09/09/2009 18:27

Bathsheba... isnt your DD at 'pre-school' anyway if she is attending playgroup ?

Where we live all former playgroups are now pre-schools (getting very confused to all the different terminolgy used in different place. A lot of Mums on my Ante-Natal board have been preattlin g on about 'school' whe they really mean nursery attatched to school)

slushy06 · 09/09/2009 19:29

I didn't send ds till 3 1/2 he has just started we went to two 3 hr play groups and that is it. He is perfectly happy he loves school and I think now was right for him and he interacts with other children fine. I never left him with anyone either until he was 3. But he didn't cry in fact he is v happy to go to school and ready to come home when it is time.
You are her mother and it is not up to your family to decide what is best for your family. If my family start telling me what to do I found it best to let them say their piece then say I will take your opinion on board and ignore them if you don't agree. But I certainly don't agree with calling you selfish.

qwertpoiuy · 09/09/2009 19:31

At 2 they should be at pre-school, at 4 they should be reciting Shakespeare at boarding school

choppychopster · 09/09/2009 19:40

As far as I know, we don't have pre-schools around here. DD who is 3 next week will continue going to daycare nursery (I work full time) until next September when she will start in the nursery class at school (she'll be nearly 4 then).

Satsuma1 · 09/09/2009 19:46

She is your child and you know best.

Like others have already said, some children are ready sooner than others. It's really not up to your family to make that decision.

I would try and let their opinions wash over you and just ignore them. You will know when she's ready.

YANBU and definitely not being selfish.

BonsoirAnna · 09/09/2009 19:48

When I read OPs and threads like this one I am glad I live in France where the state decided on which date DD would start pre-school! No maternal angst or interfering parents!

nannynick · 09/09/2009 19:51

mumof2rugrats - yanbu, there is no need to send a child to pre-school at all. Children learn perfectly well staying with a parent during the day. If you have a group of friends with similar aged children (+/- 2yrs) then your DD2 can socialise amongst that group of children. Toddler Groups / Children's Centres also provide opportunities for children to socialise and do activities that you may rather create mess elsewhere (painting for example).
The UK Government is encouraging parents to use pre-school education, possibly I feel due to some parents not being capable of educating their own pre-school aged child. Many parents however are quite capable of educating a per-school child and may well quite enjoy it.

hocuspontas · 09/09/2009 19:51

And don't feel pressured to send her when she's 3 just because it's free. Do what is right for you and your dd.

scottishmummy · 09/09/2009 19:51

it is a parental choice,it is up to you.no one else

unfortunately people feel compelled to stick their beak in

nursery has benefits
sah with mum has benefits

neither is selfish

nickytwotimes · 09/09/2009 19:53

Ds started at 3. Took to it like a duck to water. Afasik that is when pre-school starts anyway, so no big deal and noone else's business anyway.

gemitygem · 09/09/2009 20:02

Gosh not being unreasonable at all! They are so expensive to send them as well. I sent ds1 and 2, just after their second birthdays, but will not be sending dd till we get it free as we are skint!

BrieVanDerKamp · 10/09/2009 13:12

my son did not go to pre school or nursery. He is late summer birthday so has just started school at only just 4 years old, which I think is best for him, he has gone in everyday no problem at all, I made sure that he socialised with others and had a range of activities to do at home. I think perhaps if he was winter born, therefore not starting until nearly 5 years, I may have sent him to pre school for a couple of terms.

lynniep · 10/09/2009 13:16

eh? selfish? that makes no sense. at all. they dont need to go to nursery - its practical if you're working - and once you get free sessions then yes it does make sense if you find one that you're happy with.

gorionine · 10/09/2009 13:20

You should not need to justify your choice to anyone (unless they are the ones ending up looking after your DC).

I had a very bad experience with DD1 starting play group at 2 years nine month. After that I have not sent any of my other Dcs either (4 od them including DD1). They all went with me to toddler groups, library sessions etc... and where absolutely fine to start nursery.

You are the only person to know wether you and your Dc are ready for it. As scottishmummy says, both play group and stay at home have their advantages. Once you know which one you want to go for nobody should put their oar in!

Pikelit · 10/09/2009 13:34

Ghastly old crone alert...

I am genuinely horrified to read the words "school" and "two years old" in the same sentence. What has happened to playgroups?

Now I realise that every child is different but I cannot imagine subjecting my ds1 to a school-like environment at that age. Having been to toddler group he went onto an excellent playgroup (where they learnt a huge range of social skills) and then straight into reception class at his primary school. No hassle, no difficulty fitting in/keeping up.

So no, YANBU by keeping your dd out of pre-school but I get the slight sense that you are compensating for the time you weren't able to spend with your older child and this mayn't be entirely fair on your dd. Certainly, you are storing up separation problems if she's never been without you for longer than an hour by the time she goes to primary school.

MIAonline · 10/09/2009 13:49

Pilelit, pre-school (usually) is what you class as toddler group/playgroup. They began changing the name several years ago. I also dislike the name 'pre-school' and much prefer playgroup. I don't know why there is always such a need to formalise everything now.

BonsoirAnna, I actually prefer a system where I can choose for myself depending on my child's needs. If that creates angst for me (which it has ) then so be it. I would prefer to be making choices for my own child and not have even more options taken away from me.

OP: Do what you feel comfortable with, you know what feels best for you and your DD.

audreyraines · 10/09/2009 14:31

i tried at 2 and ds was clearly not ready. now at 2 and 9 months, so much better! it's really up to you. some kids do well at it from 2, so kids better from 3, some kids not at all. tbh, they probably learn a lot more around their parents than at a playgroup/school at that age.

Jude68 · 24/09/2009 08:23

Am I being thick here? What is the difference between a pre-school and a playgroup? My daughter will be 3 in January and we will not get funding to send her to a preschool until she is 3 yrs 9months. I believe this is to do with no Easter intake anymore and where her birthday falls in the terms.
TBH it's shit. My daughter is ready for more structure and as we are completely broke (we do not qualify for any benefits as my partner is in loads of debt but has a pretty good job), all we do are free or very cheap SureStart toddler (stay and play) groups. Am worried this will be enough for her till she's nearly 4.

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread