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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

it really irritates me when people say their baby is flirting

259 replies

koolaid · 30/08/2009 22:49

at adult members of the opposite sex.

As in "oh DS was flirting with all the health visitors at the doctors today"

When all the baby did was smile/gurgle at someone who was showing them a lot of attention, in the way that babies do.

And always said about their DS, no-one who say the same thing about their baby girl.

It just really irks me. AIBU?

OP posts:
Ponders · 31/08/2009 22:34

not that are brackets, btw

GibbonInARibbon · 31/08/2009 22:41
scottishmummy · 31/08/2009 22:43

i am too pc to worry what is or isn't a

i love all symbols equally
dont see why you have to put labels on them

glasjam · 31/08/2009 22:44

This looks as though it hinges on what your definition of flirting is. If your only interpretation of the word is something that you do in a pub after a few bacardi breezers as a prelude to a snog/shag (you hope) then it is a grossly inappropriate word to use in the context of a baby's interaction. If however, you feel it is a harmless way of warming up interactions in a cheeky, ego-pampering way then you are going to be appalled and bemused by anyone calling "freak!!".

I must admit to leaning towards it being inappropriate and I do link it closely with all that nonsense of "marrying" kids up at the age of 18 months. BUT I am listening to the robust and persuasive defence of this argument (hiya Aitch!!) but I can't shake off my own interpretation of the word. And I can't help but associate it with the use of the word "manipulative" as used in the context of tiny babies "wrapping you round their finger" if you start picking them up when they dare to cry.

Surely a baby is just responding to and often mirroring the person who is taking an interest (who more often than not is making "big eyes" and indulging in playful peepo games?)

dittany · 31/08/2009 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paisleyleaf · 31/08/2009 23:06

I guess it depends on the dictionary.
The one on my computer says "experiment with, show a superficial interest in", etc
(it won't let me copy/paste it)

TheEgoHasLanded · 31/08/2009 23:10

Experiment with.......I like it

gettingabitnervousnow · 31/08/2009 23:22

a very crap postmodernist arguement?

OMG I've heard it all now.

scottishmummy · 31/08/2009 23:25

more erudite than calling folk "freaks"

dogofpoints · 31/08/2009 23:28

nervous, you could comment on all the rest of d's post which doesn't seem to contain any offensively PC material.

scottishmummy · 31/08/2009 23:29

to clarify believe it was "weirdos" was said.well,i would rather have post modernist musings than hollerings

gettingabitnervousnow · 31/08/2009 23:46

dogofpoints - I've already said what I think, I don't really have anything to add to my original post. I disagree with dittany and think the context of how anything is said is very relevant.

Political correctness aside, I think that a few people are really overthinking this and are also a touch pompous in their responses!

dittany · 31/08/2009 23:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gettingabitnervousnow · 31/08/2009 23:59

There was a similar thread to this a few weeks back and one poster said she occassionaly called her very young DS 'sexy legs' when he was running around the house.

In that context ie parent to very small child, I think it is absolutely fine and I seriously wouldn't give it a second thought.

If that makes me odd, than clearly I am.

NotanOtter · 01/09/2009 00:05

i agree with Dittany as ever
it's rank
babies dont flirt
dangerous territory very dangerous imho

gettingabitnervousnow · 01/09/2009 00:12

No they don't flirt in the literal sense. I doubt any littlies really have sexy legs either.

But who on earth thinks thats what a parent really means when they say it.

StripeySuit · 01/09/2009 04:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoupDragon · 01/09/2009 08:46

"To flirt" also means to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions. Note the or act amorously. Thus, a child/baby can be flirting in order to triflingly court attention, court meaning to try to win the favour, preference, or goodwill of or to attempt to gain.

Nothing sexual in it at all.

MamaG · 01/09/2009 08:47

I've never heard anybody say that TBH

TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied · 01/09/2009 09:08

I cannot believe how many more pages there are on this thread since I was last here. How can it be so long?

If some people want to say 'flirting' they can! If others don't want to say it, don't! Simple. Obviously everyone has a different sense of humour. Some people have no sense of humour for that matter.

People are not saying 'oooo look at my child they ooze sex appeal don't they?' it's just funny that kids sometimes look like they're flirting and trying to charm people.

Nothing behind it.

That's it.

gettingabitnervousnow · 01/09/2009 09:16

Couldn't agree more Totallyandutterlypaninied.

TheEgoHasLanded · 01/09/2009 09:25

the word flirting has sexual connotations..do not use it when describing your dc...end of discussion.

apart from anything else...it makes the adult saying it look like an idiot.

GibbonInARibbon · 01/09/2009 09:40

Soupy put it far more eloquently than an ol' redneck like myself

thumbwitch · 01/09/2009 09:47

Yay for TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied! And Aitch and Soupy and the saner element among you...

gettingabitnervousnow · 01/09/2009 09:51

That is your opinion TheEgo.

Mine FWIW, is fine, if people don't like the use of the word thats up to them. But anyone who seriously thinks there are sexual connotations when used in this way, by a parent to their baby, is slightly barking.

Oh I'm sorry. I forgot you had ended the discussion. Your user name is clearly apt.